Bristol Traffic

Camera Enforcement Vehicle: Bristol declares war on school parents

2012-01-27T21:41:00.000Z

"Camera Enforcement Vehicle". An odd term. It has a hint of Mad Max's "Interceptor", back in the days when Mel Gibson did half-decent films. In Mad Max, the interceptor existed to catch criminals threatening the streets and the safety of citizens.

We are sure that the council thinks their Enforcement Vehicle is there for the same goal, but we know what it has done: it has declared war on hardworking school parents who have nowhere to park their 4x4 for child dropoff except in the School Keep Clear lanes.

Today: when you see the traffic officers outside the school you know to drive pass, take the five minute hit on child dropoff to avoid the ticket. Once they've been and gone, that's it for the term. Safe. But not now.

Look at this car R009OVT. It's got a camera on top, a GPS unit lurking inside. Now all it has to do is drive past a school and it can take a photograph of all the parents parked in the parent-parking-zone, then send them tickets later. Because it can do drive-by ticketing, it can cover multiple schools in a day -increasing the risk of getting caught. And you don't get any warning, you won't know to detour on the dropoff that day. After the dropoff: uncertainty. Did they pick on you today?

Worse yet the ANPR school parking car is not just targeting school zigzags, but also anyone stopping in a bus stop. Is it really so bad for people to have to get off the bus in the middle of the road? If people are worried about safety then the bus driver could simply drive on to the next stop (as they are apparently officially expected to do)!

They are enforcing loading restrictions, so stopping legitimate traders like Tesco from stopping their vans outside shops during rush hour. What sort of priority does Bristol put on the economy?

Even worse: the Evening Post isn't on our side here. They have joined the War against Motorists, in the same week the evil anti-car EU bumped up fuel prices by declaring an oil embargo against Iran. This is just victimisation

There's only one way to defeat this: stand firm.

Make sure nobody from your kids school calls Parking Services on 0117 922 2198 giving them the school location and exact time morning and evening when they would catch the most parents on a drive by.

Similarly, make sure they don't email parking.services at bristol.gov.uk giving them the same details, or telling them of your favourite secret bus-stop short-stay parking areas.

If nobody tells them of the places and times they should be enforcing parking at schools or in bus stops -we will continue to be able to exercise our right to do so!

Why are you taping my wife?

2012-01-21T18:35:00.005Z

When we get asked "Why are you taping my wife" its usually related to some late evening encounter on the downs in our van, but here we see it on the streets of Bath in broad daylight. Its long, but funny to listen to.

We particularly like the bit in the conversation where she threatens to report him to the police for assault:

'I'm going to say you were assaulting me!'
'Fine, I've been filming the whole thing'
'I don't care!'

If there's a moral here, don't get upset that someone films you in public. Getting upset just makes it funnier when the video goes online, and more people see it.

24/jan/2012 update; the video has been made private. Sorry.

Update 2: It's back.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8zqNe0ujwE and here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9033477/YouTube-roadrage-hit.html

and there's a soundtrack, here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKQm3Wn5Dlk&feature=youtu.be&a

Grenville Road pavement work

2012-01-18T07:56:00.001Z

Contributor RP sends us a photo taken on Grenville Road, running from St Andrews Park towards the backof the Co-op on the Gloucester Road.

"Parking on the pavement is de rigueur along this stretch of road but DS09LXX has provided us with aparticularly good example of how to do it properly and make sure yourwing mirror isn't clipped by a passing car. Shame then that thepassenger side wing mirror appears to have suffered instead."

While this area is being covered, know that Belmont Road -the one way road right in front of the car, and its south-heading counterpart, North Road, form a good high speed rat-run alternative to Gloucester Road for anyone important who doesn't want to be held up by buses, bicycles or pedestrian crossings. Enter/Exit onto Cromwell Road.

2012-01-14T16:08:00.005Z

Number 3 in an occasional series of Porsches parked outside supermarkets (parts 1 and 2). Double yellows? Check. Don't want anybody else parking too near. Well out from the kerb? Check. Don't want to scuff the tyres. Personalised plate? Check: K7KKY. And in a moment of compassion, they've gone to Tesco in order to help reduce the £4bn drop in profits, rather than Waitrose. Thoughtful.

A solution for the M32?

2012-01-05T21:39:00.006Z

Sorry, no picture, but an interesting possible solution to the ghastly M32 car park which stabs at the heart of Bristol. Just as the River Frome was encased in concrete to make way for the car, why not encase the M32?. Those clever Germans are way ahead again....

http://www.treehugger.com/urban-design/german-autobahn-covered-giant-public-park.html

Oh, hang on. I just woke up. This is Britain, land of half measures and transport f**k ups. Darn!!.

Bus News update : driver in court, Wed Jan 4

2012-01-04T03:44:00.000Z

Back in April, we posted about a bus that apparently was deliberately driven into a cyclist.

The court case against the driver is scheduled for Wed 4th January, at Bristol Crown Court No 7, at 11:00 or later -more details welcome. We'd also hope the cyclist involved has recovered.

Unlike the Evening Post, we do cover such things, and would welcome a full summary to bristol.traffic at gmail dot com, where it will make its way online.

On a more positive note, nobody on a bicycle or on foot was killed while walking or cycling round Bristol in 2011, which is an improvement on previous years, and makes London's terrible statistics even more significant, from the sixteen cyclists to the many pedestrians, including one who was apparently killed by an HGV driver convicted of killing a cyclist only a year earlier.

Bristol has -despite some serious incidents- a better year. We also wish everyone that 2012 continues to not only have the same -zero- pedestrian and cyclist deaths, but that the number of injured drops too. If there is a difference between London and Bristol, it is that the police here are more supportive.

Happy 2012 from the Bristol Traffic team.

Xmas Greeting to the North!

2011-12-28T21:08:00.001Z

We are pleased to send our fraternal greetings to residents of the Frozen Wastelands of the North, especially those of the new site "Manchester's Advanced Drivers", which is "dedicated to the drivers of Manchester who take the art of driving beyond the norm."

We will await to see whether the photographs are really of driving "beyond the norm" or merely, as they are in Bristol, driving in a way more advanced than the eighty-years-out-of-date highway code tells you.

Manchester Drivers, we welcome you!

The Mayor's Motor pays the bollard tax

2011-12-15T02:32:00.000Z

According to the Evening Post (so it must be true), the Mayor's Car was driven into a bollard that should have got out of the way.

We extend our sympathies to the mayor -but at least he doesn't have to resort to public transport, as he has managed to sort out a replacement. We hope the bollard has third party insurance to cover this. If it was in any way damaged, it is the bollard's fault for being in the middle of the road and not being covered in hi-viz.

If the car really is written off, it may only be remembered in its two Bristol Traffic articles, one showing secret cabot circus parking, and another by a pub.

Let us mourn it. It shall not grace our pages again,

Regarding all those very unsympathetic comments where everyone seems to be against getting a new car on the basis that buying a second ford-fiesta with a non-personalised number plate and selling the AE1 plate off would actually earn money - fails to recognise the symbolic role of the mayor. Like the Crown herself, the mayor is a powerless figurehead whose role is to attend meaningless publicity events in vehicles that reflect the fact that the UK is a fading power.

As for the comments that the mayor should be riding a bicycle, remember that Cllr Gollup is the offical evening post spokesman of the Bikelash. He does not cycle.

High Kingsdown Shared Space Proposals

2011-12-12T07:48:00.000Z

There are proposals afoot to turn Kingsdown by (the excellent) Highbury Vaults into a shared space. We somewhat support this.

Looking at the Lockleaze shared space, they've completey managed to eliminate the pavement area.

This avoid the problem of not being able to park right next to your front door, being forced to leave a small gap just for the sake of politeness, as the AA driving school car GD11ETF has had to do.

It also avoids the conflict between people cycling on the pavement

Where they are risk of damaging our vans

Ticketing: its for your own good

2011-12-10T11:45:00.000Z

Here in St Andrews Road, Montpelier, we are shocked to see two cars getting tickets for being slightly on the pavement

slightly shocked, but not completely surprised. As there is almost enough space for someone to walk by on the inside

That will hinder passing traffic

And as can be seen here on upper Cheltenham Place, if you don't get fully on the pavement, you get to pay the wingmirror tax.

Note that vehicles in these photos include a fiat, a VW and at least one Vaxhall Astra -built in the UK to a German design.

Now that Cameron has finally stood up to the European oppressors with their plans for friendship and co-operation across countries, we hope that the owners of these vehicles will recognise the error of their ways and buy morris minors. Say goodbye to vehicles that start every morning! Say goodbye to driving over 60 mph on the motorway! these are un-British!

Bristol Saracens: the official home of Bristol Paveparking (oh and rugby)

2011-12-04T07:59:00.000Z

Bristol has some rugby teams. Not well known, because they don't do much to draw attention.

Yet here, from redvee2002, we see how supportive the Bristol Saracens Rugby Team are of their community, by celebrating the art of paveparking!
Nobody can pavepark like a Bristolian. Aberdeen Cars: copy that if you can!

For outsiders, the dual carriageway on the right leads to the M5 and the Shopping Paradise that is Cribbs Causeway. It was untainted by riots in the summer as it is not within walking distance of anywhere. The bike path alongside the dual carriageway is intended to permit even poor people to come and shop. But as these cyclists, even the fit-healthy and affluent ones, cannot buy 42" 3D plasma Freeview HD televisions on the basis they can't get them home, these people just don't bring enough money to the region. Rugby spectators are far more welcome, as after the match they can head up the road and keep the economy afloat by using their credit card to pick up something expensive they didn't really need.

Pop-up shop elitism

2011-12-01T07:44:00.004Z

Trend of the month: pop up shops, in empty store fronts, rent-for-the-day cafes, and around our streets. Everyone is talking about these

Except, Bristol's traditional pop-up retails are being given a harder time than ever before, as signs on Fox Road now warn you that your details will be passed on the police.

What details? That a white van with no wing mirrors pulled up? What do you expect? Have you ever tried paid-for-sex on the back of a #20 FirstBus bus? There's the half hour wait, the extra costs and the kids filming you with their phones and sticking it up on youtube later. Then you are stuck somewhere waiting for the next bus home.

No, never do that again.

Anyway, this shows how elitist his pop-up shop theme is

stall in stokes croft selling local bread: welcome
Local vendors of sex: criminals
City-centre market selling finely curated local cheese: welcome
man in Picton Square selling finely curated local ganga: criminal
cafe selling premium fair-trade coffees imported from South America: welcome
street outlet selling cocaine-products imported from South America: criminal

See what we mean? Those of us who work in the sex- and drugs trades are being unfairly discriminated against.

And that's without considering that the cost of fuel has killed all the surburban customer trade, those people who would drive down from Emerson's Green and Bradley Stoke in search of a bit of low-cost sexual gratification and some recreational pharmaceuticals. That customer base has collapsed as bad for us as it did for best-buy and Cribb's Causeway.

Yet neither the local council or central government have recognised the role our industry has in Britain today. It's unfair.

Brian Rogers of Kingswood: speaking the truth

2011-11-29T22:40:00.001Z

We've been a bit quiet recently. The main problem: thinking of new things to say.

Everyone has this problem. Take this well thought out letter from Brian Rogers of Kingswood.

It certainly pushes our buttons:

affluent middle classes cycling
holding up important people on their way to work
tax-payer funded lycra clad louts
sanctimonious, car-hating people
fill up the car parks

That would be a good article: tax dodging affluent (actually, this is probably true), car hating, and driving to our favourite parking spaces. It would make a good article, and we have formally invited Brian to actually write for us. All he'd need is "in our lane", "red light jumping" and "speeding along too fast" and we'd win this week's Daily Mail "lycra lout" bingo.

Of course, the same day that George "coke" Osborne announces that air passenger duty won't be applied to people flying in and out of the city on private planes is particularly bad timing for the tax-payer funded text. Remember: those people who live in Monaco and fly in for three days a week may retain non-resident tax payer status, but they hold up the economy, and adding £30/week on the already outrageous cost of (tax free) jet fuel would force them stop flying in to the UK at all.

Brian needs to work on his timing a bit there.

Furthermore, a quick web search shows that he wrote pretty much the same letter a year ago.

irresponsible for the city council to pour tax payers' funds into a cycling track that is, well, just a hobby for a privileged and sanctimonious few?

See? The same problem we have. There's only so much orginality you can do from one point-of-vitriol. Brian is having trouble writing the same letter once a year -you can imagine how hard it us for us.

Maybe its time for the team to retire

Occupy Redland

2011-11-29T22:25:00.000Z

OK... College Green is full of tents. The grass is a bit buggered. Billy Bragg has sung to the masses. The Council is letting it happen. All good.

So it's nice to see that a break away group appears to have established itself in Redland. Not on the Green, but near it.

This car, we're sure, is the new outpost for "Occupy Redland". YCZ7199. It's been here for the last three days, making quite a statement by parking in a slightly anarchistic state. On the junction of Hartington Park and Woodstock Road.

We thought of inviting the Daily Mail down, with their heat seeking cameras, to see if it was being used at night, but so far we've had nothing positive.

Using the alternative

2011-11-21T13:38:00.002Z

I would like to follow the instructions, only white van man and other lazy parkers are blocking the pavement (despite the fact it's perfectly legal to park here).

Integrated Public Transport

2011-11-20T07:39:00.001Z

Contributor "R" writes to us

Dear Bristol Traffic

These flats on Cotham Road South opposite the junction of KingsdownParade and Horfield Hill were built only a few years ago with the car inmind. The ground floor level includes garages with access across thepavement to the road. However, I wonder if the developers failed torealise just how useful garages are for keeping other things in apartfrom cars ?

Perhaps they did as their clever design hints at theexistence of a driveway in front of the garages. This hint has not beenoverlooked by this tax-payer who is presumably pleased that the bus stopoutside the garages gives pedestrians the satisfaction of making gooduse of what we all regard as an underused part of the road network.

Indeed we should applaud this as an example of "integrated publictransport". I was unable to stay for long and determine the effect onpedestrians of an approaching bus.

Yours dearly,
"R"

This is a fine example of integrated transport. We also suspect that as this is in the Kingsdown RPZ, such imaginative parking will allow the resident to avoid needing to pay extra anti-motorist tax on their vehicle.

Costa Fortune

2011-11-19T17:33:00.002Z

BMWs cost a fortune. And this one, LF52XBW, parked up on the pavement on Gloucester Road today was being eyed up and photographed by more than a few people today. Hence the security looking after it.

But why was it there?

Well, it's complicated. The bit of road that runs between the Bear Pit and Filton Avenue changes names a few times - North Street, Stokes Croft, Cheltenham Road and Gloucester Road. It's Bristol's premier cycle commute route, and home to a Bristol Showcase Bus Route. The people that inhabit the road rather like its independent feel, free, mostly, from the anodyne 'High Street' shops and outlets so pervasive of most British towns and cities. The residents tend to kick off a bit when corporate idiocy tries to impose its muscle on the local populace.

Ergo, today there was a bit of a protest outside the new Costa Coffee which is apparently illegally opening on Gloucester Road. It seems franchise holder, Stuart Montgomery, plans to ride rough-shod over Planning Law and open a new outlet here, having been refused planning permission to do so. The complication is not that he can do it, but that it is not until he does it that Bristol City Council can serve an enforcement notice*** on him to cease trading.

Local councillors Jon Rogers and Gus Hoyt turned up, along with MP Stephen Williams to register their support for the protesters in front of both HTV and the local press. The usual anarchist protesters also daubed chalk on the pavement, even after the politicians had left and the police had arrived with their CCTV van. But this is middle-class Bishopston, so no trouble.

Back to the BMW though. Why was it there?

The best suggestion I heard was by Jon Rogers, who asked, "Is it the prize for the first person to buy a coffee here?" That, of course, will allow the Council to force the apparently unwelcome franchise to close.

On a lighter note, though, there is a new, independent, Bread Stall down the road in Stokes Croft, outside the old Sofa Riot shop, not competing with any existing business except Tesco. Now even the transient student population can get decent bread without having to use a multinational minimart.

*** He recently tried the same trick in Whiteladies Road, where, we hear, an enforcement notice has been served by BCC after he opened a Costas in the former Derbyshire's newsagents premises. Of course, enforcement takes time, so business is being done.

Occupy M32: year 40

2011-11-19T07:30:00.001Z

A group of protestors are camped on college green, but apart from the "whiners corner" of the Evening Post, not having much effect.

A greater group of protesters have decided to come out in numbers and bring the city to its knees. Here they are on the M32

Their protest demonstration goes all the way up to Eastville junction.

Yet the mainstream media completely ignores this, even though these protestors include BMW and Mercedes drivers -the nearly-but-not-quite-1%, whose journeys in from the suburbs are crippled by the excessive fuel taxes the state is charging in order to keep the banks afloat.

The residents of the areas near the M32 are aware of this ongoing protest against the capitalist economy, and have been spraying signs of support against the M32 itself.

If there is one criticism, this protest has been going on for about forty years, and yet it has had little effect.

no, not our van

2011-11-18T17:22:00.000Z

Someone emails us to say

"was this the famous Bristol Traffic Van? It drove out of Ashley Road after the light changed to block the traffic heading north to Cheltenham Road. Many of the drivers on Stokes Croft were somewhat unhappy about this, as the junction was already blocked and the driver ended up even stopping cars heading south from getting through"

No not us. It says Lloyds Pharmacy prescription delivery on the side, while ours clearly says "pornography delivery"

Railwaypath Ghost Cyclist

2011-11-13T07:18:00.000Z

We've been using the term Ghost Rider to describe someone who chooses to die on a bicycle, usually by RLJ-ing. The last video of someone on a bike crashing into a pedestrian causes us to look at the rest of taypet21's video collection. This person is a threat to the rest of the city. really.

Look at this video where he crashes into someone walking down the railway path. It's like he sees the women, and rather than try and slow down, he speeds up and runs into the screaming. If this was us, we'd destroy the evidence rather than put it up on youtube

Broadmead bumping

2011-11-12T21:12:00.001Z

A video reaches us of an incident at the bike path crossing rupert street to the horsefair where the cyclist crashes into the pedestrian and they both come off.

Nice swearing. If we cycled, we'd swear like that too. One point though: there are no lights controlling pedestrian crossings of the bike path, and so that highway code about giving way to pedestrians probably kicks in. The other: this was predicable. There is no point putting a camera and a horn on your bike if you aren't going to look at where people are walking and whether they are looking at you.

More RLJ work on Cheltenham Road

2011-11-11T07:00:00.000Z

We're going to credit this cyclist coming up Bath buildings and crossing Cheltenham Road for actually looking and only going out when it is clear to do so, and waiting at the traffic island for a gap in the other lane.

Again, being a bit fitter and climbing up the mild incline on Bath Buildings would have saved time, and if you can't climb that when what faces you straight ahead, Arley Hill, is going to hurt. Looks more like this RLJ-er is going to right turn onto the Gloucester Road bus lane though.

Not so suicidal to be called a ghost-rider, just, well, pointless. The taxi in the ASL isn't going to run him over when the lights change as the cars blocking the hatched junction remove the option to pull out fast. Why then?

Now some Geister Fahrading on Cheltenham Road

2011-11-10T07:49:00.000Z

Another RLJ-ing cyclist, here on Cheltenham Road

0:01 cars coming from Bath Buildings get to go left or right onto Cheltenham Road; cyclists can also go straight on for a contraflow.

0:12 Arley Hill gets green, cars and cyclists set off

0:14, A woman on a bicycle goes straight past the camera.

We are sure the tax dodging online press will be pleased at the gender balance of our RLJ footage, but can they at least tell the cyclists to look both ways when they run a red light? If your light is red, there are two meanings

Everyone has red, it's pedestrians you are going to hit and other cyclists that will hit you.
One or more lanes are green and you will become the statistic.

Hypothesis #2 is the one they should worry about. If our van had been in the Arley Hill ASL, our "launch on warning" system would have kicked in and we'd have pulled our foot off the clutch while texting the final message to our next delivery. Anyone cycling directly across our way, 14 seconds into her red light period is someone that the post mortem would say "she chose to die".

In Germany they have the phrase "Geister Fahrer" -Ghost Driver- to describe someone who chooses to commit suicide by driving the wrong way up an Autobahn. Here in Bristol we have the less well-off doing the same, the Geister Fahrader.

Unfit and bad judgement

2011-11-09T07:20:00.000Z

We're always being accused of somehow presenting the cyclist point of view, rather than discuss the problems that RLJ-ing cyclists present. Good point. Lets run some of those videos. Before that, let's pre-empt the "when cyclists RLJ they don't endanger anyone" claim. Not so. When they run zebra crossings or pedestrian crossings they do endanger pedestrians. If they force pedestrians to hold back they may keep the pedestrians from crossing the road until the cars get a green light, so exposing them to more risk. And they completely destroy any moral high ground the tax dodgers claim to inhabit.

For the next few postings then, some RLJ-by-bike work. More than that though: some theories as to why. It can't be because they are important and in a hurry: as if they were they would be driving. There must be other reasons.

Let's start with this video at the Muller Road/Shaldon Road junction.

0:00 Filming begins on Station Lane, there are two tax dodgers here, cyclist #1 is female and in front of the filming one.
0:08 The woman on the bicycle (henceforth "cyclist #1") crosses Muller Road while the right hand approach lanes have green for both turning and going straight on. This is the 3rd or 4th set of red lights since the M32, and cars are still in speed mode and not used to red themselves. Yet she sets off, wobbling a bit, as she tries to get up the hill.

0:09-0:21 she's now got a line of cars going up the hill beside her, as she approaches a parked car she's going to have to pull out on.

0:22: now as she reaches the pullout point there's a supermarket delivery van to deal with.

0:28 Shaldon road gets its green for traffic going straight on or right (left turn has been green since 0:06)

0:40 Station Lane gets green, the other cyclist (henceforth "tax dodger #2") sets off

1:03 the woman who sets off at 0:08 gets passed by tax dodger #2.

Let's look at cyclist's #1's actions then. She set off through a red light, exposing her to risk to crossing traffic, reinforcing (clearly valid) perceptions about RLJing cyclists, and then making it harder to get up the hill because of the passing cars then the van making the pull-out that much harder.

And for what? Because tax dodger #2 reeled her in about 20 seconds. At that rate, if she was going up the hill towards UWE, what would be for tax dodger #2 a 15 minute hill climb will, for cyclist #1, be something more like a 45 minute crawl. At which rate the saving of 40s is absolutely negligible. Maybe running a red would make sense if it would save you time, but in this case it offered increase risk for no real benefit.

Why do it then? Why not just wait for green and pedal a bit harder when it arrives?

Crash by the pump house

2011-11-08T21:26:00.000Z

video up on youtube; no more details yet. This is by the Cumberland Basin flyover; that right hand lane is how you get over the bridge; the straight on lane is to the portway. There is a newly painted bike lane up to the old bridge (leading you to the Nova Scotia pub), but no give way markings for the cause.

Hope all is well.

Dirac's Antipermeability hypothesis

2011-10-30T10:54:00.000Z

Dirac Road, off Ashley Down. Named after Paul Dirac, Nobel Prize winner for hypothesizing the existence of "anti matter"; something that was later proved to exist.

Dirac Road is named after him. Sadly, due to the large amounts of energy involved when antimatter collides with conventional matter, they cannot put any on display. Instead they have to focus on anti-permeability, the idea of making open space opaque to people on foot or bicycle

First on this corner we can see the car making the pavement antipermeable

Nothing profound there, you can see it anywhere in the city. What is more unique is this barrier over the footpath between Dirac Road and Lilstock Avenue -which connects with the famous "farm pub path". There is a risk that people might use this so called "access point" between the two roads to get to this path -or worse, come up here and then proceed safely on foot or bicycle to Brunel Technical College (scene of the "do not cycle on the pavement" signs and the Happy Road incident), or Sefton Park Primary school.

This barrier makes that hard, so ensuring that there are few high-energy collisions between conventional matter "cars" and anti-society matter "people on foot or bicycle".

It could be alleged that this is a temporary feature while the primary access point to the Farm Pub Path -station road- is closed for roadworks. Yet look at the base of this feature: it is embedded into the concrete

The allegation can be even more firmly disproved by looking in the opposite direction, and observing that the dropped kerb is actually placed to the side of the path.

This is a permanent fixture to celebrate Dirac's work on antimatter, by showing how Antipermeability can improve things.

Speaking of which, we hear rumours of a new Antipermeability project underway in South Gloucs. We will delegate this work to the People's cycling front of S. Gloucs, as an inspection up there would involve getting stuck in traffic jams in the newly widened A4174 ring road, which is a waste of our time.

Une discourse dans le village du Montpelier

2011-10-27T10:56:00.000+01:00

Vous savez que vous etre dans un petit village quand vous encontrez les residents engagement dans une discourse dans la rue. Les grands villes sont anonyme - ce n'est pas vrai pour villages comme Montpelier.

Aujourd'hui nous pouvons voir des residents en conversation sur le sujet de droits de passage. Est-ce-que la priorite a les autos de Bath Buildings, ou pour les voitures qui faisant la traverse de St Andrews a la Rue de Cheltenham?

Nous ne savant pas que les residents ont decidee. Notre journaliste a dit as nous "J'ai pas attende a voir qui a gagne parce-que je pourrait pas culee" [1,2]

[1] an incorrect translation of "I could not be arsed"
[2] note how the descending tax dodger flips the 20mph light on the way down, yet the BMW in front appears not to.

Forward Planing

2011-10-23T10:49:00.000+01:00

While the lights are red, an opportunity arises to take a photo of the Seahorse Pub, a pub that used to be part of the Smiles brewery chain, but had two features that distinguished from the Brewery tap across the road: a choice of non-Smiles beers and the Smiles Exhibition didn't run out as often

Sadly, someone cycling through a red light ruins the shot. Why is he doing it.

It starts to make sense: by cruising through early he avoids the problem of getting from the left hand lane to the right hand lane while two lanes of vehicles are trying to push through.

Of course, that leaves the problem of waiting at the bottom of St Michael's hill for the lights to change. Clipped in to the pedals, he either has to unclip and put a foot down, or do a track stand.

Or there's option three: lie down and take a rest. This provides an opportunity to give his cardiovascular system and his legs the rest they need before commencing the St Michael's Hill climb

Reclaiming the Streets

2011-10-21T14:23:00.000+01:00

There's a growing scandal in the press that an undercover policeman infiltrated the group Reclaim the Streets.

While we do not approve of the activities of these tax dodgers, we can't speak highly of the police infiltrating a group of lentil-eating- ippies just because their activities brought the traffic in city centres to a halt at peak hours.

If bringing the city to a halt a peak hours by blocking the streets with your vehicle is a crime -then we are all criminals.

Look at the scene above: the M32 after 9am on a weekday. Brought to a halt. Is this a crime? No, it's commuting. the only thing wrong here is that we can't use the hard shoulder even though everyone is only doing 15 mph.

That's one reason we don't approve. Where will they draw the line? Start with the hippies, soon they will be trying to find out who kept torching speed cameras, attending meetings of the Association of British Drivers and keeping an eye on us patriots.

The other reason we don't approve: it's a complete waste of time and effort.

Imagine the the uncover police team christmas party as they all get together and discuss how they protected the nation from its enemies, inside and out

"I infiltrated Real IRA and kept the Northern Ireland peace settlement alive."
"I infiltrated a group of drug dealers and kept 500kg of cocaine out of Britain."
"I infiltrated Reclaim the Streets and pedalled a human-powered sound system round Clapham."

You'd be laughed at and be so embarrassed you'd find excuses not to go to the following year's party. It's the bottom ring of undercover police work, worse even than that dire film Kindergarten Cop where Schwarzenegger goes undercover as a school teacher. At least he didn't have to cycle round south London on a three person bicycle where the one at the back powered a loudspeaker.

It's just not impressive. It's not the thing you sign up for is it? That's the really shocking thing: the government could be bothered to infiltrate these groups. We wouldn't. Especially now the Bristol Cycling Campaign have stopped holding their meetings in that room above the Cornubia Pub.

Forward Planning

2011-10-20T07:12:00.000+01:00

We've discussed before planning strategies, such as the MiniMax algorithm, and how a limiting factor is how far ahead you plan. The planning horizon limits your options, and often the game is won by whoever plans furthest ahead.

We are perfectly happy with a planning horizon of one: what is the next thing in your way. However, we are pretty unimpressed by this video which was sent to us of a car in Clifton who'se planning horizon was zero. When a car is coming towards you, you either do two things -commit at speed or back off. What you don't do is go alongside the bicycle at 15 mph with a car coming towards you at 20 mph, as that leads to an exchange of details and some insurance premiums, especially now that tax-dodgers are starting to carry cameras and no doubt willing to supply their videos as evidence.

If you are going to overtake with oncoming traffic, put your foot down!

Bristol's Secret Rat-runs

2011-10-17T07:19:00.000+01:00

We are debating providing some coverage of Bristol's secret rat-runs, to go alongside our secret parking coverage. Today, the best way to get from Ashley Hill to the M32 -Magdalene Place

It's good to see Red Driving School WVIIUEK showing a learner driver about this road, and how to correctly position themselves to take it properly.

Careful Passing

2011-10-17T07:09:00.000+01:00

Everyone recommends giving bicycles room when passing, -and they complain when you don't, especially when traffic islands create pinch points.

Here a vehicle on Shaldon Road, Lockleaze, demonstrates the correct way to safely pass a slow-moving bicycle at a pinch point.

Not our van: WU10JCY

2011-10-16T07:02:00.001+01:00

Someone points us at this video as says "That you?"

No. Pink shirts and white dungarees don't suit us. Or him. We are just more aware of the fact.

Also: that van still has two wing mirrors. This video may have been made in Bristol, but whoever it is, they live in the suburbs.

update: "The initial pass was on Stockwood Lane and the chat was by the junction of Lacey Road and Stockwood Lane"

Not us: we don't speak hungarian

2011-10-14T09:41:00.000+01:00

Lovely video, people coming to the streets and saying what up to now is only printed in the Daily Mail, written in the comments, and muttered by taxi drivers between themselves.

Of course, we don't need to have a special protest to take over a bike lane -we have Stokes Croft for that.

On that topic: remember, Saturday is the official opening of the bearpit wifi zone and it's transformation into one of Bristol's premier destinations. Now all someone needs to do is paint over that bit between the bearpit and Nelson street and bring it back to its 1972 glory: Broadmead.

Oktoberfest im Ashton Court

2011-10-13T07:21:00.000+01:00

Despite the nature of the activity -cycling- we are pleased to show

the route preview of the 2011 Ritchey Oktoberfest Bike Race.

Paul of ZeroG cycles is not actually in fancy dress, he can regularly be seen hanging round Bedminster in Lederhosen and singing bayerische beer drinking songs.

Paul will also be dressed like this for the duration of the event -we presume- and he does usually organise some (free) kids events that small children enjoy.

Be aware that Ambulance Leap has been removed so you will not be able to enjoy OktFest sitting at the picnic benches drinking Dunkel Hefe Weissen Bier and watching the MTB racers crater out in front of you.

This race marks one of the two main events taking place in the city this week, the other being the Bearpit Brunch. We shall be attending the latter, it being hosted in our team's weekend holiday home.

Stop Pedalling, Start Driving

2011-10-12T12:28:00.003+01:00

We wish to thank the Danish subversives at Copenhagenize.com for moving on from showing pretty Danish women on bicycles to showing pretty american women in cars, even if they do seem to be looking rather affectionately at the bollard-headed tax-dodger. with a slogan like "Stop Pedaling, Start Driving" you can see that their message is quite simple: grow up. You are no longer a five year old. Get a car.

We love the GM web site too, especially where it shows a pedestrian getting soaked by a passing GM SUV. It's fantastic. Not only does it show that wonderful feeling you get when you swerve into a puddle just to soak the tax-dodging pedestrians, the contrast between pedestrian and vehicle size makes it clear the real message: buy a big 4x4 or you will get run over by one. That said, GMC Sierras suck now that even in the US you pay $3.50 for a (US) Gallon). Even if you are only paying 55p a litre, if your barge does 12 MPG your cost/mile is way higher than, say ,a VW Golf 1.4T, and we not only know which is more fun, we know what depreciates faster. Not the Golf.

If there is one complaint about the advert it is this: there is nowhere near the University of Bristol to park, not now the area is all resident parking. We even hear rumours that Cotham will go the same way. What does that leave? It leaves the University of the West of England with its 20+ designated car parks as Bristol's premier university for important people.

On, one more thing: the US had to step in to save it from bankruptcy in 2008, and the US and Canadian governments own have 43% of the company's shares. This is not just a company, this is the US government.

Big Hello to R242AAC: roundabout jumper

2011-10-10T10:38:00.005+01:00

We've had this video for a while, but been keeping quiet about it. Why? because there is a limit of six months for charging anyone for any dangerous driving/careless driving offence, and this driver has been successfully avoiding all attempts by the police to contact him. While that creates a new offence, "failing to report who was driving at the time an offence was committed", again, that has a limit.

This is profound. It means if you can hide for long enough, you can even get away with nearly running over a family at a roundabout.

The video and email came to us from "S":

I have a video of a near miss by a car that failed to stop for me and my nine year old son at a roundabout.

We are cycling up Cotham Road, about to go down over the roundabout to Cotham Hill. Cotham Road is calmer now the zebra crossing is in, and as you can see, the few cars passing on the bank holiday gives my son a wide berth, which is appreciated.

As we approach the roundabout, at 08:00 on 29 of April, I get my son in the correct place to go over, check that nothing is pulling out and we set off. I can hear the sound of a car approaching from the left, from St Michael's Hill, so I warn my son that this this car on the left is the next hazard we are going to worry about -as you can hear in the commentary.

As we get partway over, I pull ahead of my son, to make sure the approach car sees us slows down in good time.

However, instead of looking, instead of slowing down, this car pulls straight out onto the mini roundabout. If I had been about 50cm further ahead, I would have been hit, and if my son had been about 1.5m ahead of where he was, he would have been hit.

The car registration was R242AAC, I repeat this phonetically multiple times after the incident, along with the date and time, and at 1:12 in the video you can see the registration number, along with the Honda logo and the Accord model name.

The driver was a white male, with -I believe -brownish hair. He saw me and waved mildly apologetically as he continues through the junction without slowing down, continuing down Hampton Road. I follow him briefly enough to confirm the registration number, then turn back to see my son.

We are impressed not just by the driver's bravery in pulling out on what can be a busy roundabout without looking, but in their successful attempt to avoid what are apparently repeated attempts by the police to contact the driver, as with a video like this it would be pretty hard to deny your car was there.

We hope that nobody in the Bristol Area manages to spot this dark blue Honda Accord registration number R242AAC, that is R242 AAC and then immediately contacts the Avon and Somerset police on the phone number 101. All readers of this blog must keep an eye out for this car and make sure there are no cyclists in the area, to defend this bold driver from the menace caused by militant troublemakers who video their journeys round the city and complain about such minor things like nearly being killed.

The fact that if you hide for six months you can avoid prosecution is a new one to us. We look forward to using that technique ourselves in the near future.

Free parking in the Bristol City Centre

2011-10-09T07:04:00.006+01:00

Reader "OJ" writes in:

Dear Bristol Traffic,

Thank goodness the menace of pavement cycling is finally getting the attention from the nationwide media it deserves.

These vehicles (LM11VNX and LS10KTN) have selflessly parked up in the best place to give live satellite feeds of people illegally cycling past.

Thank goodness for our broadcast media.

Secret Colston Street parking -handy for the BRI

2011-10-08T06:57:00.000+01:00

"OJ" drops us a note

Dear Bristol Traffic,

I have discovered a great place to park my 4x4 for free, 2 minutes away from the Centre. There's a lovely wide pavement outside the Colston Almshouses on Colston Street, and as N864HWP shows, no traffic warden cares if you park there.

The only drawback is that (see 2nd photo), some of the space has been reserved for road tax dodgers. I could have easily parked my Hummer behind W381XKX, but for the fact that someone had put (unused) bike racks on the pavement there. The thing that's really frustrating me is that I bet cyclists ride onto the pavement to use these racks.

It's good to hear that no traffic warden cares, though we must hope no passers by with mobile phones dial up the Parking Services control room on +44 117 903 8070 and report the golf, as that pavement is possibly covered by the yellow line rules. The bit by the zebra crossing: go for it!

No eye contact - even if they insult you for RLJ-ing

2011-10-07T07:50:00.007+01:00

The rule of junctions is that if you don't acknowledge the other people on the road, they aren't there, so you have done nothing wrong.

Usually its done when you block a junction or a roundabout. Today, something different: a cyclist RLJ-ing the Cheltenham Road/Bath Buildings Junction.

For some reason, the camera crew aren't impressed by this and not only shout to get their attention, they are mildly abusive -which the tax dodger in the viewfinder ignores.

Next they will be writing in to the Evening Post to complain.

As to why the cyclist jumped the red light, some possibilities spring to mind:

they were in too much of a hurry.
their visibility of Arley Hill was restricted due to the large lorry blocking the pedestrian crossing.
their life is empty and meaningless and a bit of danger makes it more precious.
their brakes don't work and the way they came off the pavement forced them into this action.
they're an idiot
all of the above.

Well, they are now famous. Purple-topped mountain bike rider: welcome to Bristol Traffic!

(08:44 correct video embedded)

The last days of summer at St Georges Park

2011-10-04T07:09:00.001+01:00

Contributor "NT" mails us this lovely photograph of autumn sunshine

Hello, I was cycling down Park Crescent adjacent to St George's Park at 5:30pm this evening and saw some inspired parking - I thought you might like to see it and maybe share it on the blog.

Given that the weather is about to go from heatwave to blizzards very shortly I'm sure the driver was just trying to save precious seconds in parking their car properly and walking the width of Park Crescent to reach the grassy haven of the park; this way they got straight into enjoying the last of the unexpected sunshine the second they stepped from their car.

Yes, we think WR58JXK is making the most of the late summer evenings, though we wouldn't park under trees ourselves -can make the roof and windscreen sticky. Better to use the wide green space behind it.

The school run

2011-10-01T12:11:00.005+01:00

Look at these disgusted Hotwells parents fed-up with the way people park outside their school. 'Stopping on zig-zags is dangerous and selfish' says the sign, and we agree. With a little more effort GL07OTS could have parked entirely on the build-out, and not on the bit that says 'KEEP CLEAR'

Helmets, hi-viz and tax for pedestrians.

2011-09-30T07:09:00.001+01:00

In amongst the various ePetitions for making parking outside someone's house illegal, and for the many cyclist ones, making cyclist pay for the road, we are the only organisation to campaign for pedestrians to be better equipped for our cities. Cutting and pasting from someone else's proposal, we have one of our own.

In our petition., we say

Other road users have to pass tests to prove they are competent to operate a vehicle on the public highway. Pedestrians however are at the most risk and from any age they can walk around without any training, they are often wearing ipods and flout the rules of the roads e.g not stopping at traffic lights and crossing the road. I propose that all pedestrians must undertake training and be insured before riding on the road to protect themselves and others. They should wear hi-viz clothing and have helmets for their own safety

Some people will think we are taking the piss or something but not so: it's for their own safety.

Look at this scene from the Stokes Croft/Ashley Road junction.

A pedestrian crossing the road nearly gets hit by a taxi waiting for the lights to change in the middle of their road -past the ASL and not blocking it, we note. This taxi that manages to turn in front of the oncoming traffic by putting their foot down as soon as the lights go red & orange -and were it not for the pedestrian, would be on their way safely sprinting down the 20mph road to east Bristol.

Look at that pedestrian

Dark clothing, hard to spot: no hi-viz anywhere
No helmet.
No insurance/tax disk.
Probably no third party liability for damage caused to the front of cars.
Moving really slowly.

The taxi driver narrowly manages to avoid running them over as he accelerates down Ashley Road, and has to sound his horn to make them move faster. The tax-dodger seems a bit upset by this.

Stop this menace to our roads!

Everyone should sign our petition now! We have three signatures already!

Importance

2011-09-29T07:02:00.000+01:00

It's important to remember that our white vans are the lifeblood of the city. This is why we think the government should treat us like farmers, airlines and buses and give us tax free or tax discounted fuel.

You can tell we are important in a number of ways

We are in a rush
We are on the phone a lot

Here you can see FP54DYU doing both at the same time while finally escaping from the tangle of streets in Montpelier, here on Brook Road, where you can make the most of the 20 mph limit in a road with no wingmirrors to bump against.

It's surprisingly hard to text one handed, so we hope the audience is impressed.

Pharmacy Plus: proud to sponsor the Frome Valley cycle way

2011-09-27T07:28:00.000+01:00

The new Frome Valley cycleway follows the frome from the heart of bristol up to near UWE, with the first half along that jewel of the Bristol Road system, the M32 motorway. The fast moving traffic will remind cyclists that if they weren't so poor, they too could have a proper vehicle.

Pharmacy Plus are proud to sponsor this new path. As a key member of the NHS supply chain, they recognise how important health and fitness is. The vehicle SF58PZK, which may well be associated with the company, is proudly placed in the middle of the path to remind people on foot and bicycle how much more accessible the city is if you have proper transport.

There is enough room for passing cyclists if they swerve into the road, so we think that whoever called Bristol Parking Services to report this car was small-minded and vindictive

NC53BOV: "try your best"

2011-09-26T07:29:00.000+01:00

Previously: Clifton. Today. Montpelier. We are going to show how the drivers in this part of the city not only know the width of their vehicles, but have far better situational awareness than other parts of the city. Look at this video here.

Some points.

The delivery van -whose way forward is blocked by roadworks- manages to reverse all the way back up the road to the next turning point. That is not something a normal driving test does, but it is hard. This person is skilled.
After getting past it, the non-road-tax-paying cameraman continues on their way.
Just as they are going past an expensive car, that car starts to pull forwards. We'd say pull out but in this road the pavement is about 1/3 of the actual roadway. That's why the driver of "NC53 BOV" didn't indicate; he wasn't pulling out.
The cyclist, who appears to be somewhat committed to the pass and exclaims "wait" and pulls past them. This is insensitive cycling and shows inadequate situational awareness.
The car driver isn't that happy with it, and after waiting a couple of seconds to get over the affront, sprints up fairly aggressively and puts some pressure on the bicycle to speed up. But he keeps his distance, there's nothing too threatening. Of course, driving half-on the pavement does limit your ability to put your foot down.
At the junction, the driver pulls up alongside and there is a polite discussion.

That's the difference between London and Bristol. In London: a fight. In Bristol a quiet exchange of views. The tax dodger explains that they are just trying to get to their destination alive. The driver of NC53BOV replies "try your best". The cyclist then congratulates them on their awareness of their surroundings and notes that they are more aware of them than the driver of CU54UWV. Then the troublemaker heads off towards St Werburghs.

After giving the tax dodger a chance to get ahead, the driver of the Audi RS6 Quattro shows that a key benefit of the automatic transmission and four wheel drive is the ability to put your foot down and have the car react, bringing you up to 40 mph in a 20mph zone in seconds. They manage to get safely past the cyclist before the oncoming traffic has a chance to get close, and, after making up for lost time, continue on the rat-run to the St Pauls Roundabout. Notice that despite his earlier unhappiness, he gives the bicycle plenty of room. This is someone who knows how to overtake safely, is aware of their surroundings, and able to adapt to them.

St Werburgh's Schoolkids

2011-09-25T07:34:00.000+01:00

This is the first time anyone has actually asked to be filmed or photographed by one of our reporters. For that reason alone, they get coverage:

finally: bicycle wheeling is a crime! In Yate!

2011-09-24T11:02:00.000+01:00

We excited to see that even wheeling a bicycle is something that will be banned from the Yate pedestrian area!

Centre manager Andrew Lowrey said: "We have had several complaints that people are either riding or wheeling cycles through the centre and ignoring requests made by our security team not to do so

"The safety of our customers, visitors and staff is extremely important, therefore a decision has been made to ban cycles at Yate Shopping Centre with immediate effect.

"We encourage people to visit the centre and to travel by bicycle. However, we would kindly request that cyclists utilise the ample cycle racks located around the shopping centre. We expect a noticeable increase in footfall when the new Tesco Extra store opens on October 24, so hopefully these new measures will prevent future issues and make the shopping centre a safer place for all shoppers."

We expect this will rapidly improve the revenue in the shops and help it recover from the threat posed by the fact that Emerson's Green is five minutes drive away. Emerson's Green does welcome cyclists, so Yate should actually be able to market their Morrison's supermarche on this feature "Yate: nobody on a bicycle will be there".

Tesco Supermarkets would like us to remind our readers that their shop in Cheltenham Road is accessible by people on foot, public transport, bicycle and car -the bus/bike lane providing the parking area for the latter.

KY57PZF: it's going to make a great video

2011-09-21T13:27:00.003+01:00

It's interesting to compare cultural differences between Montpelier and Clifton. Soon, Montpelier. Today: Clifton. As we've noted, the local anti-cycle policy does encourage driving rather than cycling, so someone on pedals is unexpected; people don't know what to do.

At the same time, for all their driving, the wide streets of Clifton, and the higher value of their cars, means that Monty-driving-techniques just don't apply here. If you've ever been held up in your van while some fancy car hits the "mirrors in" button and then crawls along, you'll know what we mean. There's a fear of scraping your mirrors against other vehicles. In Montpelier, the locals don't have wing mirrors, have pre-scraped cars, and know the technique: drive close enough to the right to be almost touching the parked cars, let the left hand side look after itself.

That lack of skill and excessive protection of their car puts the Old Cliftonians at a disadvantage. Look at this video here, on Beuafort Road, Clifton, one weekday morning.

There's a bin lorry collecting rubbish. Nothing unusual there, except in Clifton the rubbish is better. Empty bottles of fine Bordeaux wines, not crumpled up cans of Tennants Export -"brewed in Scotland for the English Bastards".

Where the bin men are, there are delays. Here the oncoming bicycle goes past them, only to see KY57PZF blocking the way in front, waiting for a chance to get through. Why haven't they done that gap already? It's wider than many of the Montpelier 2-way streets, and there's excellent visibility. We'd have gone for it. Of course this Peugeot 207 1.4S is in better condition in our van, but our dents and bashes were our way of learning the exact dimensions of the road.

Because the car hasn't got the nerve to commit through this -massive- gap, it ends up blocking the gap. The cyclist -who believes they have some right to be there- waves at the car to reverse a bit. The driver -rightfully- points at the (obvious) lorry and clearly implies they are going to sit there and wait. The tax-dodger has none of this and tries again. Here the driver of "KY57 PZF" provides some feedback in the form of the clearly mouthed "Fuck off". For some reason the cyclist doesn't take this hint and again, encourages the driver to back up.

Don't they see the disabled sticker on the car? This person is clearly suffering from some disability, which not only prevents them from walking, it probably hurts to reach down to the gear lever and put it into reverse. Yet the insensitive cyclist doesn't recognise this, they just sit there bullying this innocent motorist to go backwards or get on their side of the road to let him pass.

At the end of this incident, the troublemaker says to the driver "It's going to make a great video", which the driver doesn't hear. Reaching for the window clearly causes more pain, so the tax dodger opens it and says "It's going to make a great video look for your registration number on youtube" before disappearing.

We are surprised that the car driver doesn't complain to the evening post about such harassment.

Update: Road name corrected from Belmont Road to Beaufort Road. Credit to an attentive Richard.Howe8!

Correct junction tactics

2011-09-17T06:45:00.002+01:00

This video of Stokes Croft on a weekday evening is interesting. As well as the number of cyclists trying to along a road which clearly doesn't welcome them, most drivers are taking the collect "seize the junction" option here at the junction with Jamaica Street. Indeed, the yellow-hatching only covers half the road: its OK to block vehicles coming out of Jamaica Street, just not those going in.

What is odd is that the car at the end, WR60VVG , doesn't take the junction, even though at list late in the cycle, there's a risk of the lights changing before she gets to go through. Admittedly, she has passed the lights so can't see them changing, but even so, why hold back?

It's only as she goes past the camera that we can see why: she's on the phone.

That's a problem that phone users present: they slow down the vehicles behind. If she'd been paying attention she would have gone through earlier, and another car could have come up behind. While she didn't suffer, another vehicle did.

No, this is what we'd do

At 0:15 you can see some pickup -a proper vehicle- go through the roundabout and stop in front of the Cotham Hill traffic. That lets vehicles behind turn right, and ensures that the pickup driver isn't held up by anyone else. Of course, it does block that Cotham Hill traffic, so the usual "If you don't see them they aren't there" tactic kicks in: don't look to either side.

What does the driver do. The phone would be a context switch and make them less responsive to changes in the road ahead. No, they do a better action: they eat their breakfast. There's nothing like a bacon roll and a bottle of cider for a breakfast on the road. Eating this way reduces the cost of congestion: instead of being stuck in the middle of the roundabout being "wasted" time, it is now useful. We think the drivers coming up the hill, instead of being unhappy about the driver's actions, should exploit this opportunity and have their own breakfasts.

Clifton: we can dream, but the bollards deny

2011-09-16T07:22:00.007+01:00

A Sunday in Clifton, and the owners of the 4x4s like WF58EZG are forced to use the raised body height to help get up on the pavement.

There just aren't enough spaces for that VW Touran, or the Jeep Grand Cherokee WU53HGD below, famous for, in the words of the NCAAP safety tests, earning just two stars for pedestrian safety, "this car was not designed with pedestrians in mind"

Well obviously not. People walking take up parking spaces.

Which brings us to Waterloo Street, Clifton Village. Bollards. Worse, Bollards with bicycles attached.

Our Clifton councillors have done what they can to discourage cycling: resisting cycle parking in the village, proposing taking away yellow lines, but it isn't enough.

It's not the yellow lines that are the problem -it is the bollards. They remove space from us, the important residents of the area, and give to them, the pedestrians and the cyclists. It's as if they were more welcome than us.

Every Bollard is a sign that the War on Motorists continues!

Stokes Croft for visitors

2011-09-15T07:13:00.003+01:00

A Visitors Book briefly appeared at the bottom of Ninetree Hill last month, dangling from a tree

Some people think it's cute, but we know different. It's a new way to catch rioters.

If every hour the police come up and put their name in along with the time, then if there's a riot all they need to do is go to the book, look at who signed it during the riot, and put them away for five year. It's the physical version of facebook. Indeed, it even has the work "book" in there, which is one of those concepts the Daily Mail want to ban, or at least burn.

Fortunately YA55VDY is wise to these police tactics, and doesn't sign the book.

For those readers who don't live in our fair city, it's about time we gave them a view of Stokes Croft, one that shows how it is the areas leading artistic and cultural quarter. Which it is.

At least, provided giant grinning skulls painted by 3dom and Rowdy are things you can cope with. We feel for the people on Dove Street, who have that staring at them out their bedroom windows. How long do you have to live there before it starts talking to you?

CF54UWV: never own up to a SMIDSY, even if you don't think it's being videoed

2011-09-14T13:51:00.002+01:00

We got sent this video for review of an event at 09:10 this morning, just off Park Row. And what a lovely video it is.

As you can see, the tax dodger descends St Michael's Hill then goes to the front of the road, waiting for a green light and then heading off along Perry Road with the goal of turning into Lodge Street and so descend to The Centre. While they are trying to do this, a road tax payer driving the premium Audi CF54UWV comes up Lower Park Row and starts to pull out. The tax-dodger expresses some concern here and then has to take evasive action by getting up on the pavement, before pulling in front of the Audi where he stops and expresses some more concern to the driver.

The driver says "I'm Sorry, I didn't see you". We suspect that some more discussions would have taken place if the cars behind hadn't started sounding their horns -nobody died, no need for a post-mortem- so the cyclist sets off. The Audi is no longer behind the bicycle at the bottom, implying it has turned into Lodge Place and the office parking therein.

The tax dodger then proceeds to make life hard for the car behind by giving way to other cars, rather than recognise that from their actions on the horn, they are clearly also important and in a hurry.

Here's our review

The Tax Dodger is to be praised for wearing a helmet. The helmet camera, well, it provides entertainment.
If they had waited behind all the cars on St Michaels Hill, they would not have been the first road user to approach Lodge Street. This would have reduce the risk of collision, as the taxpayer would have had something larger to spot. Furthermore, the MPV sounding its horn would not have been held up, as it was waiting on St Michael's Hill too -and would have been ahead of the cyclist.
There is a small dotted line bike lane on Park Row. This would have caused the collision to happen earlier, and so not hold up the MPV.
Getting on the pavement as a form of evasive action is illegal. If they had a registration number, they'd have been reported to the police for it.
If they had been hit, their lack of third party insurance would have placed all the costs of repair to an expensive vehicle on that driver.
After the incident, the actions of being nice to all cars pulling out was insensitive. They had already held up at least three important people who had paid for the right to be there; this just made things worse.
If they hadn't been on a bicycle, none of this would have happened.

We are also going to discuss the actions of the female Audi driver.

Although playing the "I'm not going to look" gambit does help in some pullout negotiations, in this situation we'd have sounded our horn to make clear we were coming through.
If you drive an old van you have better negotiating power.
It's clearly a fast car, you could have looked at the bike, then done the same action aggressively enough that they wouldn't have caught up with you.
Never, never, never say "I'm sorry, I didn't see you". Your insurance company will hate you for it, and in a world of universal cameras, your actions will be permanently associated with CF54UWV, Bristol and your apparent place of work, Lodge Place, for as long as google's servers retain the data.

The correct thing to say in this situation is usually something like "get out the way, I pay for the roads and you don't". Sometimes we also demand they have insurance, though given our van's current insurance state, that would be a bit hypocritical. Speaking of insurance, we hope that the cyclist does not contact your insurers and provide them with some hard data on your driving techniques. That is one of the reasons why we do not insure our vehicle.

Nevertheless: We in the Bristol Traffic Project salute the driver of CF54UWV for taking a personal stand against making Bristol city a safe and friendly place to ride a bicycle! Your single-handed actions should be celebrated! We hope that all other cyclists heading along this road -and there are clearly many of a weekday morning- will recognise that you are important and give way appropriately.

K33VYP shows their imagination

2011-09-14T09:13:00.005+01:00

Imagine a different world. No speed cameras, no traffic lights, cash back whenever you fill up your car. We can. The ABD can. "Hoverboard Hammond" can. And in Clifton, K33VYP is imagining a world without double yellow lines.

Such out-the-box thinking is what we need in this area to solve its problems. If there is one thing that's unusual is that this Mercedes is the only car parked here on Oakfield Place

We know why that is: they stole our rat run. Stepping back a few paces and turning the camera to the left:

A whole road has been blocked off and turned into cycle parking. Worse yet -a through route for cyclists, who could then endanger the paintwork of important cars, like K33VYP itself.

This road blocking not only provides a parking area for visitors and residents, it takes away the parking opportunities nearby simply by making it so hard to get to them.

The joy that is shared spaces

2011-09-13T07:51:00.003+01:00

There are proposals up to add some shared spaces in High Kingsdown, near the famous Highbury Vaults. This is the area that pops up in our Cornerish Parking article -one that already shows the area is half-way to being shared -it's OK to park in the middle of the road.

The traffic survey is surprised about how low the traffic is. Well, it's a narrow road with narrow pavements to park on. Once the pavements are dropped to make it a shared space, we can park anywhere. This will increase the value of the road and so encourage more (motorised) visitors.

Here for example, Oxford by the Primark. A shared space from which bicycles are banned.

What shares it? Pedestrians and -in the distance- a delivery van. This is heartwarming; somewhere we can bring our van for a bit of shopping without fear of any cyclist damaging our door when we open it. As for pedestrian/van conflict, well -they get out of the way of the bus pretty sharpish, don't they?

Fighting Back: why it doesn't work

2011-09-11T07:35:00.001+01:00

People email us and say things. A lot of things, most of which we can't print, as they assume the team are some group of bicycle-people. Not so. it is just that we don't film from our own vehicles, so have to send out "expendable tax-dodgers" to get footage for us. Why don't we film ourselves? This video from London shows why.

As you can see videoing from the vehicle doesn't help

It stops you being able to make and take calls with the camera phone.
Holding a camera over a passenger while driving along makes it hard to maintain full speed, especially when you are hanging back to disagree with the cyclist.
The troublemakers all gang together when the police get involved

That's the worst part. Your own video can be used as evidence against you. As for the whole nature of this dispute -the tax dodger wing-mirror-taxing the smart car as it pulls out into his lane, well, if you have wing mirrors, you aren't a proper Bristol driver -a fact which the very presence of wing mirrors radiates to everyone nearby and puts you at a disadvantage in all right-of-way negotiations.

Anyone thinking of visiting the city -just stick some duct tape round the mirrors to create that local-driver look without having to actually do Richmond Road, Montpelier, at full speed.

Montpelier's Flowerbox Problem

2011-09-10T07:14:00.017+01:00

Shocking footage reaches us of this, Old Ashley Hill, in Montpelier, where someone has placed two flowerboxes on the pavement outside their front door.

So what? people say, In the background there are two cars on the pavement, X385MJW and WV07YVZ, taking up space. Why worry about the flower boxes?

Here's why: it's illegal. The Pedestrian Liberation Front has been dredging up pavement legislation, and discovered Section 28 of the 1847 Town Police Clauses Act. This act threatens a fine of up to £1000 pounds and 14 days in prison for anyone who commits any of the crimes listed there, which includes

Places or leaves any furniture, goods, wares, or merchandize, or any cask, tub, basket, pail, or bucket on any footway.

The flower boxes: criminal. The cars: doing what needs to be done.

We shall report them to the police.

Incidentally, the law also makes it a crime to "Slaughter any cattle, except in the case of any cattle over-driven which may have met with any accident", and also clarifies that "The word “cattle” shall include horses, asses, mules, sheep, goats, and swine".

This is going to cause problems in Kingsdown when they next sacrifice a goat to Elder Gods in the midwinter festivities. They shall have to make sure that the goat is slaughtered in the road, and perhaps move the Wicker Man to Freemantle Square, otherwise they too will be in trouble.

pamperbanana: introducing PaveClaiming to Clifton

2011-09-08T21:59:00.001+01:00

Our recent coverage of Clifton has generated more contributions from the area, and here we are pleased to show some photos from "G", showing the imagination that the locals are forced to apply to the area's parking problems, as all the councillors can think of is removing a few yellow lines under the guise of traffic calming.

These photos actually introduce a whole new concept, here in Hurle Road, Clifton: PaveClaiming.

First, what's that in the distance? A car on the pavement, poking into the road. Nothing unusual there -even in Clifton. Lots of people don't have driveways big enough for six big cars.

When you get closer, you can see it's not a house, it's "pamperbanana", a body grooming shop. Offering "A fresh and vibrant welcome awaits you to indulge in one of the many luxurious treatments" Again, nothing too unusual. Our favourite Stokes Croft massage parlour has a vibrant welcome allowing us to indulge in one of the many luxurious treatments -and dedicated bike lane for us to park in "when we're in a hurry".

No, what's interesting is this. The bit of pavement that FA07YMJ is parked over has a sign on it "reserved patrons only." In fact, if you check the web site, it says this explicitly: "Customer parking avaliable outside salon" (sic)

That's why we call it PaveClaiming. "The act of claiming ownership of a piece of pavement so that only you can park there." Nice. Given the nature of Clifton, you can't expect residents to walk or cycle to the salon, so this is what the team had to come up with to encourage visitors.

Sadly, not everyone seems so positive about the idea. The council planning department appear to be investigating the apparent change of use of the front of the establishment. This worries us. You can't call PaveParking a change of use -it's as traditional to Montpelier as getting drunk and having a fight on a weekend evening is in The Centre. No permission needed there.

Hopefully it's just the PaveClaiming that they are worrying about, not the actual paveparking. That would threaten the stability of whole regions of the city.

WessexConnect: they block ASLs for your own good

2011-09-07T07:17:00.002+01:00

There's a lot of complaint from the bicycle-troublemakers, the vocal ones, about vehicles stopping in ASLs. We think that it's exaggerated. Here is our proof.

[update]: It's apparently a Wessex Connect Bus. We praise them for their consideration.

It's a video from (an expendable) cyclist. As we've stated before, we don't video our own driving in case it is used in evidence against us. Even the soundtrack of us trying to touch-type facebook updates on the phone could cause legal issues. Hence we give these tax dodgers cameras "as gifts" and collect the output. Today we see the output from a shinier camera, which is helmet mounted for a bit more stability.

This video was shot going down Shaldon Road, meeting the lights at Muller road. As you can see the bus has its wheels behind the ASL, but the front of the vehicle is in the ASL. This is for everyone's own good -nobody should go into this ASL.

0:13. The bus gets a green light to turn left, taking up most of the lane as it swings round. A cyclist may have survived if far enough to the right, but the turning car would have dealt with that.

0:22 The cyclist gets a green light and starts to head through while a car coming from the M32 runs the recently-red at speed.

If the cyclist had been using the ASL for its planned purpose "getting out early", they'd have been hit by that car. The ~~FirstBus~~ WessexConnect vehicle's positioning not only protected the cyclists from it's own left turn, it saved ithem from other road vehicles.

We think this is one of the cycle facilities which even the militant cyclists would be campaigning to remove.

Speaking of cycling facilities, we are disappointed to note that Lord Mayor Geoff Gollop will be in Stockwell to proudly open the new "pump track" put in for the local teenagers to cycle round. Why the disappointment? Well, that's only going to encourage them, isn't it?

We feel betrayed. Why? Cllr Gollop was the leading quote for the Bristol Bikelash. How can he rightfully take our side by denouncing the painting over of some parking spaces with bike lanes, then turn around and say "it's OK for people to cycle here". It's just hypocrisy. We know he's going to drive there, obviously, but will he stand up and say the truth -that he and his party are the only people prepared to stand up against cycling and public transport in this city, because they are the only form of transport for poor people, and we are not poor. Well, not poor yet, though his colleagues in Westminster have plans for that. But don't worry: the unemployed don't commute.

Problems in the RPZ

2011-09-06T07:00:00.004+01:00

Oh dear. More tickets.

Luckily, the entire Bristol Traffic project is based in Clifton, where sights such as this are rare, even on double yellow lines.

We feel sorry for this poor driver, who has accidentally visited Cotham, and become ensnared in its Resident's Parking Zone. Three tickets in as many days.

With the registration EX11WVT, it's quite possible the driver lives in Essex, and may not be aware that it's always better to park in Clifton, rather than Cotham, especially if intending to stay in Bristol for a few days.

Fuel Costs and motorbiking

2011-09-02T07:26:00.004+01:00

We've heard sob stories about people having to go without food to keep their cars fueled up, but nobody has looked at the impact on the tradition of motorbiking to your mates to a pub. Not only are road taxes and petrol taxes on the rise, but beer taxes have gone up too.

This is a group of pub goers have been forced to cycle to the Vittoria on Whiteladies road pub for their afternoon beers; a row of chopper style pedal cycles lined up as a forlorn statement of a lost dream. Still, it adds to the beer money.

That blocked up building, The Ranch, is not damaged by any riot. It's just shut down -people aren't going out and drinking enough, so the Vittoria must welcome all traffic, even these push-biker-gangs

Looking at the zebra crossing, we can see someone didn't quite manage to make the corner here. At least that's one good thing of the plastic keep-left signs: they bend out your way and don't damage the paintwork.

This is the zebra crossing that the WoEP wanted to move away from the road crossings as part of the showcase bus route. Whatever the claimed reason, the real reason is now becoming clear: Tesco are putting in a mini-mart where the Texaco garage used to be.

As we've seen elsewhere in the city, a zebra crossing provides excellent short-stay parking opportunities for anyone nipping in to buy one or two items. Not petrol bombs though, as that bit of the site will be going away. Anyway, who could afford them?

Anarchists. Maybe

2011-09-01T07:08:00.001+01:00

The elusive "Bristol Citizen" asked us why we forgot to mention anarchists as the cause behind the riots. Good question.

It's hard to see theft of LCD televisions as somehow aligned with the Anarchist cause. Indeed, it's hard to see a complicate blackberry-and-facebook based Command-Control-and Communication Infrastructure being operated to co-ordinate such thefts. Sitting in a pub like The Hare on the Hill cheering on rioters out on ninetree hill -that we can accept.

Planning a mass rising of the population in Croydon. Unlikely. Croydon? It's not exactly the Bastille or the Battleship Potemkin, is it. If you are going to plan a revolution, pick somewhere dramatic to be celebrated in cinema and art for centuries. Not Croydon.

Who then? Well, we also forgot to mention Rave Music. - music described in the 1994 Criminal Justice and Public Order Act as "sounds wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats". A music so dangerous that they had to ban rave gatherings, out of fear of groups of people wearing lime green t-shirts dancing to A Guy Called Gerald threatened society -or at least the alcohol revenue of clubs, pubs and national supermarket chains.

There's another issue: where did all the balaclavas come from? There's only one group of people who go round the city with Balaclavas and facemasks, geared up for a mass uprising and already showing an affectation for consumer toys. Yes, the cyclists.

With the face gear, the fingerprint-protecting gloves and the riot-ready helmets, along with the nimble wheeled subversion-mobiles, these are the real criminals in our society.

What to do? The obvious answer is to show that we aren't intimidated, to place our range rovers firmly in the cycle paths and say "we will not be intimidated!"

Praise L008YXR for being the first of the true citizens of our streets to drive over to the bike paths of Montpelier and show they are not afraid. Already you can see how the passing cyclists look threatened and unhappy!

Tesco would like to us to remind you that they are still open.

Tardis in found Redland?

2011-08-30T07:00:00.012+01:00

There's a new series of Dr Who on the TV, so we thought we'd see if we could find a Tardis.

We're not sure if we did, but we did find what appears to be a hidden, space travelling vehicle, in Canowie Road in Redland. Whether it can travel in time as well is a moot point, but as we live in a four dimensional world, we suspect it can.

It could be a Tardis, probably parked on it's side, and quite well camouflaged. It could be hiding from the apparent aliens that play tennis nearby. Of course, it may not have an Inter Dimensional Tax Disc, which don't come cheap, so may be hiding from the Gallifrey DVLC Tardis clampers.

It seems, though, that the invisibility field is not functioning correctly and has been spotted by one of the residents, who has stuck a small and polite notice on the field, probably using a sonic screwdriver (although it looks a bit like Selotape):

We wanted to know what was under the camouflage field, but we had suspicions that this could be a Dalek prank, or worse still, THE MASTER, so we hid behind the sofa for a while.

By the time we dared to come back to look, though, the whole thing had disappeared.

Be assured, however, that if August 2011 ever comes round again you can be sure we'll be hiding in the bushes, and will report back.

Electric Vehicles

2011-08-29T06:37:00.000+01:00

A lot of the press and our glorious leader of the Department of White Vans, "Hoverboard Hammond" is saying that electric vehicles are the future. We disagree, as their design goals are incompatible with white vans and their owners needs.

Their range is too limited, luggage space too small. They only suit people doing commutes to and from work. It's a very expensive way to subsidise that commute. 5000 pounds is like giving away a season ticket or five bicycles. It's like giving away a six year old car.

The EV charge points will take away parking from us the tax payer. We say "us", as EVs don't pay road tax, don't pay fuel duty, and therefore have no more rights than cyclists. So they should get off our roads!

Depreciation is an unknown. This isn't picked up on, but on a laptop with LiIon batteries, batteries decay with age -independent of use or charge cycles. That's why a five year old laptop has to stay plugged in to the mains all the time. As the users of vehicles that we like to run into the ground until the cost of MoT fixup becomes too high to justify continued use, this is ridiculous.

For the car manufacturers, having a shorter lifespan for their products suits them. That's why they had the vehicle scrappage scheme, that's why a second car that can only be used for commuting, shopping and school runs that will have a completely dud battery within 5-6 years has their eyes lit up, especially if the government is giving 5000 quid back on each purchase. The customers will still need the big car for weekends, so this lets them charge a premium on short-lived urban toys while pretending they are greeen.

But it doesn't suit us, the van drivers who keep the cities afloat. All they are are just more school run parents pootling along in our way.

This doesn't mean we are coming out in favour of boris bikes either -they take up parking and space, but since the space is in London's C-zone, that's not our problem. At least every user isn't being given 5000 pounds worth of our road tax money. And they are in London, not Bristol.

Reminder:larger craft have right of way

2011-08-28T12:40:00.003+01:00

This little video from Portsmouth-way reminds us that larger vehicles do have priority.

That's not just because they are important, but because they are bigger, with worse visibility. Whether it's a container vessel or a Volvo XC90, the reduced field of view means that it's not the pilot/drivers fault when someone gets in the way and then run over.

Yachts are too fragile to be allowed out, even with helmets, lifejackets and such-like. This is why they should be banned from our shores for their own good.

Miffed

2011-08-25T07:00:00.004+01:00

We're a bit miffed.

Over here in Bristol Traffic HQ we endlessly debate the best personalised number plates we'd like on our vans and 4x4s. We've even got one on the company Porsche.

We know that the really good ones have all gone (we've still got PEN 1 S on the Bentley, and D 1 LDO on the X5, mind), but we were really upset when we received this photo:

Yep, that's UPU51R, spelling out it's owner's attitude to other road users in a really succinct and pithy way. In Clifton. Nice.

You can't ticket me: I have diplomatic immunity

2011-08-23T08:36:00.000+01:00

Chris Chalkley, President for Life of the PRSC, almost gets a ticket for being double-yellow line parked on Jamaica Street.

First he tries the "I have diplomatic immunity gambit", which fails. Time for a plan B.

"Ticket that van first", as he points to the other van, while he hurriedly drives off with his to park round the corner.

Smart Car: Park all your preconceptions with a test drive on Clifton Downs

2011-08-21T07:08:00.000+01:00

While the Harbour Fest is going on in the city, what should we see up in Clifton but SmartCar employees offering test drives on Clifton Down in their little car KP11OYZ. As the text on the back says "take a test drive with a difference".

Obviously, the two threats to any car are cyclists and pedestrians, but the fence across the footpath keeps pedestrians away

And the no cycling sign keeps the area safe from bicycles

During discussions with the staff, apparently they were allowed to drive on the downs as the council had approved it.

Well, we said only a few days ago that the best use of the area would be for parking; right now it's a premium price Zoo-visitor service for peak weekends, when really it should be open to all residents.

The fact that the council are giving Clifton residents the opportunity to try driving and parking on the downs -as the Smart Car advert says "Park all your preconceptions", could be a step in the right direction.

We are interested in what the legal status of this is: can you really block off a footpath this way, and when it becomes a designated road, are people on bicycles still banned? And what the process and cost for doing this is. If it's affordable, we will create our own pay-to-use car park here.

Solving the no-taxi problem in Broadmead

2011-08-20T05:07:00.000+01:00

We've covered before how the ban on taxis caused needless problems on the approach to Union Street

Well, it's been fixed once and for all by painting the word TAXI on the ground.

Initially we suspected a militant spin-off from the Bristol taxi drivers association, but once it was clear that the signs had been updated too, it's clear this is official.

There's also a contraflow for people on bicycles to get run over by turning buses.

No change there then.

DVLA Harassment in Monty

2011-08-19T07:38:00.001+01:00

A van partially pavement parked, and with a police ticket. Why the ticket?

OK, the road tax expired at the end of June. And what's that in the background?

It's another car, this time fully DVLA clamped up while paveparked on double yellow lines.

But what does it's tax disk say? July 2012

Either they've just (belatedly) stuck in the disk and are hoping to be unlocked, or the DVLA computers are playing up.

Speaking of DVLA computers, someone has put in an e-Petition to make it illegal to park outside someone else's house at night. Having "space" outside your house in the inner city is some unrealistic vision: you park where you can. These people may live in some suburb where Avocados and Coffee Percolators are items of wonder, but the rest of don't run to the window and go "ooh" when a strange vehicle drives down our road, or start fuming when they are still parked outside at 10pm, forcing us to park five metres further away than normal.

Then there's enforcement. Will the police, randomly pick on cars, go up to the house it is in front of and verify that it is theirs? What if they dont' answer because they are asleep?No, enforcement would have to involve the DVLA scanner vans driving round all night.

But we're going to ignore that and worry about the implementation details. You can't use the DVLA address data as it doesn't handle company cars, second homes or students living away from home. That means a new table in the database for every car to have multiple addresses; a mapping of registration -> (postcode, house)+. Except that's a table that needs to be updated a lot more than once a year. What if you go on holiday? You'll need to update it. What if you go to a friends for a weekend? You'll need to update it. Which means a government web site to let you update the legal car parking spaces even from a phone. Which you can defeat with a satnav smart phone that gives you the location of where you are parked and automatically registers you.

No, unworkable.

S56JCW? Wasn't us in the van abusing the cyclist.

2011-08-16T21:55:00.006+01:00

Someone emails us:

"Hello, is the Bristol Traffic white van the one with the registration number S56JCW? -that is Shithead-56-Jesus-Christ-Wanker to use the phonetic alphabet the van deserves?

I was waiting by Muller Road at 18:15 on August 16 for the pedestrian crossing lights to change so I could get to Boiling Wells Lane when this white transit van drove past and the passenger shouted something like "you fucking cunt" at me" as they carried on over to the M32 approach traffic jam

Not us.

We checked on askmid and yes, S56JCW is registered to a Ford Transit 80; our kind of vehicle. First registered in Preston, incidentally.
We don't recall abusing your anyone on a bicycle today.
We checked which number plates were taped to the back of the van today and no, not that number.
If they were abusive, they probably had a good reason.
Probably they were resentful of the way you hold them up on the way to the M32 traffic jam, or just pointing out that if you didn't have enough money to own an S-reg transit van, you must be very poor indeed and probably an anarchist criminal looter.
If you had issues with the van passenger for pointing this out, you could have chased them to the queue for the M32 and got beaten up. Why complain to us?

There is a web site, 101 Wankers, which documents the harassment a woman gets while cycling round London -she thinks she's being persecuted for riding a bicycle. Not so, if she walked round more she'd recognise we proposition women on foot too. The big difference between Bristol and London is it's smaller, so that one day the van S56JCW is going to meet the same tax-dodger and then the van driver and passenger can give the cyclist the beating they clearly deserve.

Even so, such drive-by abuse does let down the team. There's a bike lane in Muller Road they could have swerved onto, got up onto the pavement and then come after the cyclist. Must try harder.

Bristol Pedestrians Association: the Evening Post Party?

2011-08-16T07:01:00.001+01:00

We are fully aligned with the Evening Post: progress is good for the city, progress means roads, roads mean progress, and people on bicycles threaten this. Whether its on the pavement or the road, there should be laws against them.

If you look at the commentators on any article, you can see that most of the newspaper's web site's readers share these opinions; you can see from the complaints. But complaining isn't enough: Actions speak louder than Words. Which is why, while the rest of press was distracted, the Evening Post launched what appears to be its own political movement, the Bristol Pedestrians Association. The focus on this will be to act as a counterweight to the organised cycling lobby, and fight back against people cycling on pavements, including those bits on the city centre and coronation road where they put a bit of white paint on to add a bicycle path and expect everyone to be grateful.

We have mixed feelings about this party. On on the one hand, they seem to mirror many of our own writings, but rather than just complain, intend to act.

On the other, we worry about them. Just as both Labour and the Conservative parties turned on their leader, Rupert Murdoch, and their parent corporation, News International, could the Bristol Pedestrians Association ever turn on the Evening Post?

It may happen, if they ever look round the city and realise there may be other causes of problems on the pavements of the city, problems that force pedestrians into the road, where again, they their children in push chairs and their pets are at risk from cyclists.

Or they look at the statistics, and realise that while pedestrians and cyclists have died since this project was founded, all such deaths were a result of collisions involving motor vehicles, that this may be statistically significant, and therefore that other issues may need to be addressed first.

This is why the Evening Post needs to keep the group under control, to stop them going off-message. It's one thing creating conflict to derive web site viewers and hence advertising revenue, it's another to create threats to the status-quo.

Riots, Root Causes and Random Opinions

2011-08-15T07:41:00.014+01:00

It became clear during the week that even Boris Johnson was out of his depth. After some final words of advice from Sarkozy -whose strategy of containment doesn't actually work when we have to drive through the areas of unrest, we finally jetted home. And then drove down to Stokes Croft

Tesco is boarded up. It's not clear whether this was due to attacks on it, or the supermarket chain accepting the inevitable and adopting this as their decor. It is still open, providing a reason to park in the bike lane, as KT04TWZ has done.

In the distance there's a woman pushing a fixie along the pavement. Given the abuse of bicycles in the English Riots (to separate them from the Ulster Riots and the regular Scottish "fixtures"), she and the cyclist heading into the city on the road should be pre-emptively arrested.

Further down, the windows of the Croft and Rodak Polish Food at the bottom of ninetree are broken -you can see them behind the bike lane/paveparking van Properbread HK07UKR. If one were to view the riots as either a popular uprising against The Man or a mass looting by consumer-hungry troublemakers, it's hard to say why either establishment was targeted. These establishments are not The Establishment.

There are other places boarded up, but the presence of quality art by Petro, Epok, Sepr and others shows that this is not recent. Overall then, for the area that is now associated in Bristol and the country's mind as "the first 2011 riot" is quiet and back its normal life.

On that topic, can we point out that the graffiti covering Annabel's at No 9 actually predates the sex-shop art we covered previously. We apologise to the Annabel staff for this accidental neglect.

People have asked us who, given all the people like Max Hastings are writing bollocks, and David Starkey saying "it is because they is all black", why aren't we being paid to appear on television and spout some random bullshit about the causes of the riots and the measures that need to be taken?

Most of the shallow bollocks has already been written. You can blame thirty years of liberal thought, two years of government cuts, and then make up some opinions on what needs to be done next. When the Evening Post did ask for some opinions we provided some defensible data showing how civil unrest is strongly correlated with economic downturns -at which point they hung up the phone.

It seems that to get the TV and press coverage we deserve, and the appearance money- we need to have an agenda more outrageous, which blames the recent events to some downfall in society. The obvious events are, in no particular order

Legalising same sex marriages.
Banning slavery.
The creation of the NHS.
Making it legal for two men to hold hands in public.
Allowing people of different racial groups to settle in the country (ignoring Vikings, Angles, Saxons, Romans, and all other pre-20th migrations except those from Ireland)
Banning schools from being able to beat children.
The end of capital punishment.
The end of internment in Northern Ireland, rather than its rollout across the rest of the country.
The end of National Service.
Rap Music.
Jazz Music.
Rock and Roll Music.
Punk Rock.
The rollout of 3G networks and the addition of TCP/IP protocol stacks to mobile telephones.
The World Wide Web.
Twitter and Facebook.
Television.
The publishing press.
Widespread literacy.
The Human Rights Act
The ending of the death penalty.
The ending of deportation.

Many of these have been covered by other commentators. Even so, these are mostly symptoms. The root cause hasn't been addressed, namely that we aren't able to execute people based on verbal evidence from a single witness. If we had that, all the criminals would have been dealt with a long time ago.

That's right: since we stopped executing people for alleged witchcraft, Britain hasn't been the same.

Bring back Burning Witches based on hearsay! It's the only way to save the country!

Hotwells Primary: the parking problem

2011-08-14T07:05:00.000+01:00

While down at Hotwell's Primary, we thought we'd have a look round to see where else parking restrictions could be relaxed.

Well, there's a bit by the school marked "school keep clear" that looks like a good opportunity.

Round the corner there a build out with bollards and four bike parks, stopping even important parents from using it.

There's even a sign "stopping on zig zags is dangerous and selfish". But as that's not live evening and weekends, that's a problem for commuters rather than residents.

Round the corner -on a weekend- no parking problems at all, with a pavement where you can park close enough to the fence to ensure that neither side of your vehicle gets scratched.

This is why we think the proposal to take away one short-stay dropoff point on Hope Chapel Hill to add at most two parking spaces is misguided. There's lots of pavements to park on outside of the weekday, and if you add two more spaces, well, that just adds room for two more commuters -people who aren't in the Clifton wards, so aren't going to vote for Barbara or Terry in a fit of gratitude. It's the school-run parents who will be most inconvenienced, and they who are the biggest threat.

Walthamising Hotwells

2011-08-13T07:25:00.001+01:00

One of the Clifton Traffic Calming proposals -voted for, with support from the Waltham Forest Faction of the ruling LibDem party, was to remove some yellow lines from this road "to calm traffic", with a key justification being this is near a school and it would improve safety. This perfect Walthamisation: to improve the facilities for us, the motorists, using the walking and cycling part of the council budget, and claiming it is for "their own good". Waltham Forest excels in this, such as in the downgrading of a route to the Olympics, though we are surprised at how much it cost to make it so easy to PavePark. We in Bristol don't need such help.

This is the road covered. There are some buildouts already, one positioned to protect the wingmirrors of cars, and room on the other side of the road to park. The target area must be further down the hill.

Ah yes, here it is. A narrow stretch, two chicanes and then a wide space -wide enough to get two small cars into.

But here's a question: is this worth spending political capital on? Barbara Janke, Cllr for Clifton (Waltham Forest Ward), is in charge of a minority council that often cites its green foundations as a way of differentiating it. To remove some double yellow lines "to calm traffic" is going to get bad press in the green-troublemaker news outlets (fortunately, not the BBC or Evening Post), and embarrass others in the council. For what? Two parking spaces.

It may seem odd, but we in the Bristol Traffic project are against the proposal for two reasons. One is this: there are more important places to add parking areas that a back road near Hotwells

The other --and this is key-- is this: double yellow lines provide Clifton parents with designated dropoff areas on the school run. Those two parking spaces would be wasted on residents or commuters, as only two people a day will benefit from each new space; four people per day on a weekday, dropping down to one person/day on a weekend. Twelve vehicles a week. Whereas as a short-stay parking area, you could have ten parents a morning queuing up to do dropoffs, push the kids out and carry straight on into the city, without having to get out the car.

It is far more valuable for parental dropoff than for resident and commuter parking, and if the councillors don't realise this, they are talking to the residents and not the school parents. If we sent our kids to this school, we'd be in touch with Barbara Janke and others defending our right to park here, instead of saying "yes, we think two more residents should park here." Who cares about the residents? That's four voters, compared to the possibly twenty that ten families could offer.

The other thing is that traffic calming claim looks, well, weak. You could push it for Pembroke Road -you can get up to speed. But here? Even with a buildout dropped enough to let vans go over it, you can't keep your speed up, you have to give way at the bottom anyway.

For the sake of twelve extra vehicle parking opportunities a week, Barbara and Terry are going to make enemies of everyone in the school, as well as devalue the entire "LibDem are green" brand. Admittedly, their Westminster School and Parliament compatriots are doing the same thing, but if you look at the recent election results, not only did the Green party take a LibDem seat, they came second in a few other wards. The cost of adding two parking spaces here -both financial and political - doesn't justify it. Two happy residents, some commuters who aren't even in the same ward as the councillors, and 40-50 annoyed parents plus the local green troublemakers blogging about it -and maybe even letting the evening post in on the joke, so that Barbara gets laughed at as much as Gary "bus stop" Hopkins did.

This is just political ineptitude.

Clifton: resisting cycling city

2011-08-12T07:01:00.000+01:00

Even as we complain for the current and aspiring councillors for their lack of imagination over car parking -compared to the residents, we must praise the area for holding back the cycling in the area. If they didn't you could imagine families happy to cycle over the suspension bridge to get to Ashton Court, to pootle up to the downs, or even nip over to Clifton village for a bit of shopping.

They've managed -without anyone noticing- to get away without adding any bike lanes, contraflows on existing one-way streets, pass-throughs on dead-ended roads, or any of the cycle city innovations intended to make cycling a viable alternative to driving. They have invested in some no cycling signs, but they are discreet and in keeping with the area -while the Keep Clear paintwork is being allowed to fade.

Looking the other way, sadly, three bike stands. But as the area was bollarded off, no parking area is lost, so the car S215BPN can stay happily parked on some more fading keep clear paintwork.

In the village itself, it looks like three people have chosen to cycle in. The provisioning of nothing but bollards to park against does its best to discourage people from attempting this, but still they come and park here on Waterloo Street.

The problem is, despite what cycling city advocates, there isn't room in this narrow street to add any cycling lanes or bicycle parking. There's not enough room for cars to pass each other, and, unlike Montpelier, some of these people are in cars they value, so the road has been made one-way for the safety of the paintwork of expensive vehicles like the BMW HK60CZZ.

We know that people are pushing for the removal of the in-village yellow lines to add parking, but we don't see the point. The yellow lines act as a way of ensuring there is always space for somebody important. Without them, poor people from other parts of the city would take away all the parking spaces.

Pembroke Road parking opportunities

2011-08-11T07:48:00.002+01:00

Driving further north on Pembroke Road, we come to an area where all the parking spaces are taken. But it's still a wide road, and you can easily get up to 45 along it. No junctions, no zebra crossings, no mini-roundabouts, nothing to get in your way. Perfect. Admittedly, there's one or two bicycles to swerve past, and few schoolkids sprinting to the safety of the traffic islands, but a quick tap on your horn sorts that out.

Look in the other direction, towards the city. The roads are wide, but now there's a bus stop, a pedestrian, and a cyclist.

And everywhere: double yellow lines.

This leads us to our real metric of "where is there room to remove double yellow lines?" It's obvious, when you think about it.

Wherever there is room for people to cycle without getting in the way of important people in cars, there is space to add more parking.

There you have it. A nice simple metric of where we can put more parking. And its important to do this, because otherwise, the pedalling and walking factions, who are secretly defying the Waltham Forest faction in the council, would love nothing better than to put in bicyle lanes along stretches of road -and in a road this wide, they could even try segregation. Because of the double yellow lines, nobody is going to fight back to say "No! This removes the place where we have parked our car for years!"

This is why we need to Walthamize this stretch of Pembroke Road -because it is the only way we, the important people, can resist the so-called "progress" of those subversives, a progress that is really the continuation of the War On Motorists in a different disguise.

Pembroke Road: where should Barbara Janke remove the yellow lines?

2011-08-10T07:03:00.000+01:00

Barbara Janke, leader of the council (at least for the next few days)- has taken on the challenge of ensuring that traffic safety "can be improved" by adding extra car parking in Clifton. Of course, we, the tax-payers, know that this is technically "bollocks", but we also know that anything which discourages walking and cycling does reduce the numbers of Killed and Seriously Injured, so provided you don't actually measure foot and bicycle traffic, you can claim improvements. This is the tactic used by central government to claim that the UK's roads are safer than ever, so there's no reason why the Clifton Councillors can't use it.

First, the bottom end of Pembroke Road as it approaches Queen's Road. Look at that -two wide bits of parking area, almost completely wasted. Only one vehicle has dared to pre-empt the proposed removal by doing a bit of paveparking -and they were only loading up.

In the other direction, a happy family walks over the zebra crossing.

Look how much parking space is being wasted here! Not only is there a zebra crossing -encouraging people to endanger themselves by walking- the zig-zags are taking up space for at least eight cars.

Some readers are thinking "more than eight cars", but this is Clifton, remember. Big cars, for important people, like Ranger Rovers, BMW X-series toys. Some of the students do have smaller cars, but Mini Coopers are acceptable -provided they are the new BMW version, not the old British Leyland editions.

If Barbara wanted to live up to the expectations of her local electorate, especially the Keep Parking Free team, she should remove not just all the yellow lines in these photographs, but the zebra crossing too. This would allow much more parking, and hence more traffic calming

En Vacance

2011-08-09T18:36:00.006+01:00

People are asking "when will Bristol Traffic update us with what's going on in the Bristol City Centre?"

A big chunk of the B.T. team are actually on our summer vacation abroad, in France, Germany and the Yachts of important media types and ogliarchs of former Soviet Countries and Arabic-speaking dictatorships

We are doing this for your own good. Without us arranging the important deals with the owners of the press, the Evening Post's coverage would change; without us securing modest kickbacks from the supplying of russian gas to the UK, we wouldn't be able to pay our gas bills.

The situation is not so desperate that we need to return. We are beginning level-2 escalation, with both Boris Johnson and David Cameron returned. Frankly we were getting bored with them anyway. Cameron keeps wittering on about how never knew that Rebekah Brooks, which is why the Murdochs asked him to leave the yacht. As for Boris, there's only so much of his smugness anyone can take. Even Cameron's wife kept "accidentally" spilling red wine on him, just to keep sending him back to his room.

If things do get more out of hand, and trouble escalates to the urban ghettoes of the city: Henleaze, Westbury on Trym and Stoke Bishop, we will come back and declare a state of emergency.

As a precaution, FirstBus have pre-emptively withdrawn all service from the city. Forever.

Exploring Clifton's secret 20 mph zone

2011-08-09T07:20:00.001+01:00

Round the back of the school, there's a walking only dropoff area, where the kids can learn to walk round paveparked vans by going on the road.

Then at the end of Wellington Park it meets Whiteladies Road and comes to a timely end

Where things return to normal: 30mph, pinch points, pretend bike lanes with tax-earning vans temporarily parked on the associated yellow lines

On the other side, in Redland, they have painted some bicycles on the road of the sustrans "route 4"

These may encourage cycling, but at least they encourage the cyclist to stay far enough out to avoid damaging vehicles, such as the mini WR57XBX corner parked on the double yellow lines. Incidentally, this road may be one that voted against becoming an RPZ. And well they should, as the enforcement of parking rules would remove such parking opportunities.

Fraternal Greetings from Stokes Croft to Waltham Forest

2011-08-08T14:56:00.000+01:00

While this site has tended to document the Walthamization of Bristol -the transformation of parts of the city into little parts of the elusive Freewheeler's London district "Waltham Forest", today we are pleased to see the flow of urban features has reversed, and Waltham Forest is now a little bit of Stokes Croft.

People of Waltham Forest: Welcome to our city! There are many other aspects of Stokes Croft you may wish to copy! With bars, cafes, bicycles drugs and paid-for-sex, it is Britain's mini-Amsterdam!

Downfield Road: Clifton's secret 20mph zone

2011-08-08T07:13:00.001+01:00

While doing our Clifton research we discovered something the area had been keeping secret -there is in fact a 20mph zone up by the Downs, between Pembroke and Whiteladies Road.

The entrance is on Downfield Road

With the 20 mph signage, parents will be as safe with their pushchairs in the middle of the road as they would be in Montpelier. Except of course, there aren't any pedestrians, this being Clifton. It's a neighbourhood watch area, and anyone walking is worth calling the police about. Presumably the 20 mph zone is to protect wing mirrors when paveparking isn't sufficient.

Looking at the school warning signs people may think that its for the kids, and the double yellow lines for the parental 4x4 dropoff

Except since our last visit, the school keep clear markings have been removed, leaving it for residents.

Overall then: odd. The area is too windy to be a decent rat-run, there's nobody on foot or bicycle to push for it. Residents wanting quiet or wing-mirror protection have to be the only reasons. Even so, it's selfish. Imagine if everyone wanted 20 mph zones! And this one is in Clifton, making it the thin end of the wedge. As far as we know, this is the only 20 mph zone in the quarter of the inner city from Cheltenham Road to the A4.

Christchurch school, Clifton -no yellow lines here, yet!

2011-08-07T07:52:00.004+01:00

While looking for places where yellow lines can be removed from Clifton "for traffic calming", we say, with a knowing smirk, we are pleased to see that the roads by Christchurch School, Clifton, as seen here at 08:30 on a schoolday, have no such problem

Residents are free to park on the pavement without fear of harassment.

So can parents who were forced to drive here early due to the congestion problems caused by a city that failed to provide a city-wide motorway scheme like Glasgow. This family is stuck waiting 15 minutes for the playground to open, so have no choice but to park here. It would be dangerous to let the kids out to play on the pavement.

Now: the bad news. The council is proposing putting some parking restrictions in. No worry though -as our coverage of other schools in the area will show, it's completely unenforced, so provides a lovely parental drop-off zone -provided there aren't any pedestrians in the way. The careful parking of residents and parents alike here ensure that there are no schoolkids on the pavement. That said, the school has just won a Sustrans Award. That was for the kids, not the parents or residents, obviously.

Clifton: some bike parking has snuck in to the village

2011-08-06T08:07:00.001+01:00

Before we can declare victory in Clifton in the motorists side of the warn on motorists, we must note that some bicycle parking has been added to the village, and it is -shockingly- in use

On the mall: two stands, three bikes, on a buildout that would easily fit if not a 4x4, a little mini.

By the Thali Cafe, more stands and three bicycles. you can tell this isn't Stokes Croft as the bicycles are newer and still retain their wheels.

Further up Regent Street, two more stands and one bicycle.

It does reinforce that induced demand idea: if you provide bicycle parking, they will come. This is why it is critical that the councillors and aspirants do all they can to encourage driving and parking by car, instead of conceding any more pavement or road space to cycling or cycle parking.

On that topic, can we at least praise Clifton for not having a single bicycle lane anywhere west of Whiteladies Road, apart from that one on the approach to the Suspension bridge that doesn't actually work. Active Transport campaigners would probably push for some integrated route to join up the bridge with Cotham Hill, then to link over to Gloucester Road, then Bishopston and Montpelier, their own version of an Inner City Ring Road. They can dream, but as long as we hold the high ground that is Clifton, we will defeat them.

Clifton's Bike Stands!

2011-08-05T08:01:00.000+01:00

We'd thought that the Clifton councillors were strong enough to fight back against the cycle city plans in their own wards, but no, someone broke and conceded four stands

Fortunately, two of them are so close together as to be useless

They're on the junction of Frederick Place and Richmond Hill: back road nowhere near any useful destinations, and there's still plenty of pavement for parking. The fact that they are out of sight will stop anyone feeling threatened, and because they are nowhere near Clifton Village, won't do anything to actually encourage cycling.

Nothing to worry about directly, though its a sign of weakness at the top. Question is: who surrendered?

Support the Mall Residents by Double Parking Only

2011-08-04T07:48:00.000+01:00

With the Goldfish "I don't remember what Murdoch said" Party council candidate saying more imagination is needed to solve Clifton's problems, well, let's see what can be imagined on the Mall.

Here we see a small car (a smartcar variant WR06EDP) double parked in front of a disabled car. It's not blocking that car, once they've managed to get in 10-15 minutes of zig-zagging will get them out.

Nearby, a little Nissan is echelon parked. There's a note in its windscreen.

On the other side, a Ford Focus CA60BHD double parked, a smaller car echeloned up to the pavement. The latter has the note in the windscreen.

Let's take a look at the note

Mall Gardens Residents Association
(MGRA)
Neighbourhood Watch
IMPORTANT NOTICE
CHEVRON/ECHELON PARKING
IF YOU ARE A RESIDENT OR REGULARLY
PARK IN THE MALL GARDENS YOU WILL BE
AWARE THAT THE MAJORITY OF RESIDENTS OPPOSE CHEVRON
PARKING NOT LEAST FROM HEALTH AND
SAFETY CONCERNS AND DAMAGE. YOU WILL
ALSO NOTICE THAT THE NUMBER OF CARS
CHEVRON PARKED IS DOWN TO A HANDFUL
INCLUDING YOURS. THE AVON FIRE SERVICES
ARE CONCERNED ABOUT ACCESS TO
EMERGENCIES IN THE AREA DUE TO THE
POOR PARKING
PLEASE HAVE CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS
HAVE PATIENCE AND FIND A PLACE TO
PARALLEL PARK
PLEASE SUPPORT THE RESIDENTS ASSOCIATION

There you have it. Echelon Parking is a health and safety hazard, which is why some of the residents are so concerned about it that they have put together a lovely A4 note printed in colour which they carefully place in the windscreen of every echelon parked car, so as to encourage people to double parallel park instead.

Now, some cynics may note that echelon parking works well for small cars, whereas double parking works well for big cars too, so perhaps it's not a concern about health and safety so much as the owners of the big cars wanting to be able to park, and if everyone in a small car echelon parked they wouldn't be able to. We don't believe this. If the fire services are concerned about poor parking in the area then clearly it is echelon parking to which they are referring, and it is critical for these people to invest their own time and money into discouraging these selfish echelon parkers from endangering everyone.

Clifton Park: one possibility

2011-08-03T06:42:00.004+01:00

We borrowed Quercus's Land Rover to drive over to Clifton Park one morning, to see where excessive parking restrictions were endangering people.

Well, it's not by Clifton High, as the excessive restrictions at this end (the zebra crossing zig-zags and the school keep clear zone) are both in use for child dropoff. These restrictions therefore provide an important feature for important school run parents, and so should be retained.

Looking the other way, no, no parking restrictions at all. What were these road safety campaigners going on about?

Then a bit further down we saw it. Can you see here? Where there is enough space for a bicycle to go safely along without fear of being hit by a car. Exactly. Without Fear. We don't want that, as it only encourages them.

Real road safety campaigners would actually push for a zebra crossing here, as that crossing by the school is the only way to cross this wide and busy road. But we don't want that, it will take away more long-stay parking spots. Instead we are going to pretend that it's all about safety, when really it's about convenience.

On this, large double yellow lined road, only the car X411WCG is bold enough to assert their rights to park here, even before the excessive restrictions have been removed.

If people are prepared to park here, even when they will get ticketed and fined (at least on those three days a year when the rule is enforced), then that's enough to justify. As it isn't right next to a school, making it residential parking wouldn't remove any school run parking opportunities. If it makes it more hazardous to cycle round the back streets of Clifton, well, if we cared about that, we wouldn't be pushing for more parking -and the ward wouldn't have voted Barbara and Terry back in, would they?

In a cycling city, this space would be turned into a segregated cycle path, before anyone got used to the idea of parking here.

But while Bristol is a Cycling City, Clifton is not part of the city -it's older- and so exempt from any of these changes.

Clifton Park: limited extra parking opportunities here

2011-08-02T07:31:00.001+01:00

One area where the Clifton Residents have convinced Barbara Janke, the local councillor and leader of the Waltham Forest Faction in the council, is Clifton Park in Clifton. We drove over on a school-run morning to assess the viability of the idea.

Well, it's wide road, but there's enough parking already on it stop the troublemakers trying to sneak in a bike path or two.

Looking towards the suspension bridge, the school keep clear zone and the zebra crossing zig-zags are both used for school run parents, the zebra crossing providing a way for the kids so dropped off to get to school safely.

You could push for it's removal, but that would make dropping kids at Clifton High harder.

Further east, towards Pembroke Road, something catches our eye. A clear space.

Admittedly, it is on a blind corner and if you approach it at speed it's where you'd swing in. Even if a bit of space was left in yellow at the end, the rule "if you park next to a legally parked car -it's still legal" would apply, so it wouldn't work.

Looking at the placement of bicycles on the road, and the oncoming cars, it's not clear that's the road here is wide enough for extra parking. Furthermore, as the road reaches Pembroke Road shortly further on, there's often a bit of a traffic jam in the morning. Having two lanes of traffic here helps a bit.

What is important though is to stop the walking/cycling troublemakers from noticing that there is no safe place to cross this road other than the zebra crossing in the first two photographs, which google maps tells us is 250 metres away. For someone to cross the road safely (and once we ban Jaywalking, legally), that's 500 metres of exercise. For their own health, as well as safety.

The big risk is that somebody pushes to get a zebra put in here or by the wide Clifton Park/Pembroke Road junction, as that would add at least 20s on the school run. A bit of Walthamization would see this off before the idea even got raised.

Southville's runner problem

2011-08-01T19:10:00.001+01:00

Things must be a bit quiet in the Cyclist/Pedestrian wars right now, so the Evening Post has had to concentrate on that other bubbling issue: runners running along pavements.

Mark1864 makes a comment "This is ironic for the EP. A bunch of pedestrians moving faster than other pedestrians are causing problems on the pavement." We think we know who this person is. And yes, it is funny. This is the best set of comments in the paper. Despite the best efforts to turn this into the usual cyclists on the pavement debate, it's mostly pedestrian vs faster moving pedestrian.

One constructive comment from bobob03 is "There are quite a lot of pavements that hardly get any use along the ring road between the M32 and Emersons Green ." Yes, we love the idea of a large group of runners driving from Southville to the A4174 ring-road for an evenings run, except for the small detail that on a weekday evening that drive will take about 45 minutes. Plus the fact that the A4174 ring road is about as exciting as spending an afternoon with an elderly relative who keeps forgetting who you are and repeating the same conversation, again and again.

Anyway, while we are smirking at the comments, we have a fear. These runner groups, who go along in big packs, talking to each other, may form a militant "Bristol Runners Association", who will then go on and demand things like the right to run along pavements in the city -0ur parking areas. Then they'll want zebra crossings retained, rather than pelican crossings, so they don't have to spend three minutes running on the spot waiting for the lights to change.

Better to nip this in the bud right now.

Clifton Politicians: the imagination of Goldfishes

2011-08-01T07:51:00.001+01:00

Back in March, we noted Clifton's proposals to sneak in some extra double yellow line removal, using "traffic calming" as the excuse. Well, it's been approved. More on that another day.

But before we look at the councillors actions, let's look at the opposing team, which in Clifton means the Conservative Party, leader one R. Murdoch. The losing candidate the May Election says "we need more imaginative thought to solve the problem" of parking. In particular, this ambitious politician is "undertaking a survey of the entire community, finding out where yellow lines are needed and where they can be taken away" and by doing so, he has found 100 metres of double yellow lines that aren't needed.

Well, Clifton certainly needs help if it is not to become like Montpelier, as LY52RKV and S899ANW are forced to do. Yet these are nice cars, with wingmirrors -and Montpelier parking doesn't suit them.

We asked one of the tax dodgers what they thought of the proposals, and got this reply, which we quote unedited:

Those yellow lines aren't just wasted parking, they probably stop roads being blocked, helping through traffic, and make it easier to pass bicycles. Replace that with unrestricted parking and what do you get? 25 more cars.

That's not imaginative.

That's about as imaginative as a goldfish.

Imagination would be pushing for even one car club car bay in Clifton.

Imagination would be to put in bike parking in the village so that people don't need a car to drive from their house to the shops.

Imagination would be to discourage parents from driving their kids to school by enforcing rules about keep-clear and parking on pavements.

Imagination would be to use a resident permit scheme to limit car ownership, eliminate commuter parking and ensure that "sustainable" housing has an even harder limit on the number of cars per household.

Imagination would be to encourage the residents to use the bus, instead of trying to reduce the number of hours the new bus lane will be running.

This shows no imagination whatsoever and is painful to read. Are you sure the Clifton Conservatives web site isn't some kind of spoof?

Obviously, we don't agree with any of the actions, but we have to agree with their comments about imagination. It is the lack of action from the authorities that are forcing the residents to act for themselves. Such as here, where DV60XJL is forced to park on the yellow lines and pavements outside Tesco Express.

But even that is fiddling around the edges. As the tax-dodger notes, 100m of yellow lines only transfers into 25 spaces for important vehicles. Noise. And more to the point, we are already using a lot of that space already. It's not "unused parking", it's parking areas reserved for important people in a hurry -such as the Mercedes N445CRP.

Even if we don't want people thinking outside the box, we do want our councillors to think of a much bigger box than adding 25 more cars to Clifton. Or maybe thirty if you force the cars in hard enough.

We want much, much more. Here's what we propose

Making the downs all year round car parking, rather than a pay-to-use luxury on summer weekends
Removing zebra crossings, school keep clear zones, and that bit outside the church, as they all take up space.
Adding a multi-storey car park somewhere within the area. Yes, it's full of old listed buildings, but that didn't stop a large car park going up on the edge of St Pauls, did it?

Faffing around with 100m of yellow lines isn't going to solve the problems the area has. At least the locals are already imagining more than this so-called-contender has to offer. This is important, as the councillors in charge share the same limited imagination; it is down to us citizens to act.

For the next few days, we're going to cover Clifton!

En Vacance

2011-08-01T07:00:00.007+01:00

Apres le petit problem entre le Bristol Traffic reporteur, le Massage Club, le Avon and Somerset Police est the White Van, nous somme maintenant en France pour un vacation. Phew...

Ici, le "Rules de la Road" et different de England.

Par example...

In Le Havre, un grand town avec plus du people (plus du 180,000) ils are constructing une 'Tramway". Ils also 'ave un unique idea, qui est quite good - 'le lanes de cycling, avec parking parallèle de le kerb, mais un peu further out". Les voitures est stationment dans le centre dans la rue, est le bicycliclests have sont own special lane pres de le kerb. Manifique.

Pas de dooring ici, je thinks.

Expecte encore de reports from France, until le petit problem avec le Police est decide en Bristol.

Montpelier: is our work done?

2011-07-31T11:09:00.000+01:00

Youtube referred us to this (nonembeddable) video of an eight year old doing the school run by bicycle from York Road to Colston Primary School.

01:32 P232YEU. Seen them.
03:46 Eagle Coaches coach waiting in the bus lane. Seen them.
04:45 Family walking across the road. Seen them too.

When even independent videos include content that we already have on our web site, we can conclude that our attempts to build a mass-surveillance infrastructure out of google's datacentre facilities and community contributions are successful. At least for Montpelier, Stokes Croft, Cheltenham Road and bits nearby.

Does this mean it is time to retire: Our work is done? Maybe. But first, time to visit some other parts of the city.

Welcome to Clifton Week at Bristol Traffic!

Discussions with the BSM and other Bristol Driving Schools

2011-07-30T18:21:00.000+01:00

We always have a special place in our coverage for driving schools, as they have to teach beginners the hard art of driving and parking in a city which, excluding Clifton, is anti-car.

Here, up in Filton. Evolution WM10YHO show that the way to park is up on the pavement.

In front of it, a shared space. This eliminates the pavement entirely, and makes for some fun high-speed chicanes.

Speaking of driving schools, our ongoing discussion with one has had a new comment. The instructor does provide some good insight into what it's like driving a bus in the city, so those commenters slagging off FirstBus drivers should really save their anger for FirstBus management.

He also raises the issue of which laws should be ignored first:

I completely agree with people should not park on double yellow lines or zig zags or to close to junction corners all of which cause a danger to other road users but I do not count parking 2 wheels on the pavement in a very narror street that was never meant for parked cars in the first place as the same level of offence.

We don't bother with making decisions about which action is more defensible than others. We ignore them all, hence save time thinking about which action is more right than others.

We also note that we haven't seen that particular driving school in our database. The driving school that most pops is the British School of Motoring. The BSM may have more market share, but they are to be commended for something else: they are the only driving school that we have documented teaching people how to park in Montpelier. The other schools, they pick you up, then take you somewhere safe to learn to drive. The BSM actually hold their lessons in Montpelier.

In-town, in Richmond Road, Montpelier, we have a heartwarming sight. No, not the cyclist going up the hill with the Sainsbury's bag on the handlebars -it's the BSM instruction car WV60WJF.

We don't think driving and parking in Monty has its own test yet, so we're assuming it's a lesson. As Richmond Road is one of the hardest to drive and park on, we congratulate the BSM for showing their pupils the way forward -or at least the way up on the pavement without damaging your wheels, hitting the wall or paying the wingmirror tax on the way up the road.

So far, nobody from the BSM has got in touch with us. However, we are pleased to have video coverage of a discussion between some under-employed tax-dodger and the BSM car WR60CUY, which can be seen driving into the ASL on the red light: the bicycle doesn't get their green light until Shaldon Road is on red, so the car has had five seconds of red before it comes to a halt.

When queried about what the driver thinks the penalty for driving into an ASL is, the driving instructor comes back with the correct answer: anyone who cares about such things doesn't have a life. We actually think this summarises the entire country's cycling activist groups: they only do it because they don't have real lives.

Congratulations to the BSM for putting this tax dodger in their place!

Artistic Massage

2011-07-28T07:43:00.006+01:00

People get in touch. They say "Dear Bristol Traffic, which Stokes Croft establishments do you recommend for your special needs".

Apart from Slix and Rita's for food, there is a whole set of massage parlours. Some of them are being gentrified, what with the free WiFi, the mineral water and copies of French newspapers -ideal for visiting heads of the IMF and similar institutes.

None of those matter to us, but we will draw attention to the recently repainted frontage of "The Massage Club"

Needless to say, our white van is more usually seen by "the back entrance"

Remember: say you came from Bristol Traffic and ask for a discount!

Cornerish Parking

2011-07-26T07:34:00.005+01:00

Now that Aberdeen Cars appears to have the edge in PaveParking, we are going to share another parking secret from Bristol. It's "Cornerish Parking"

We define Cornerish Parking as "to park one's vehicle within sight or walking distance of a corner, but not actually on the corner itself"

Here we see it in Kingsdown, just of St Michael's Hill. It is far enough away from the double yellow lines to be exempt

In Clifton, someone is showing, well, less imagination. That issue with Clifton and it's lack of imagination is something we'll have to get back to,

For now, just note that the further east you head, the more imaginative you have to get.

Even so, not even Kingsdown stands a chance against Montpelier.

Here at the junction of Cobourg Road and Old Ashley Hill, we can see a '205 that's been cornerishly-parked so long the front left tyre has gone flat.

Clifton isn't even a contender here, while Kingsdown, it tries, but doesn't really stand a chance.

RPZ expansion plans

2011-07-24T07:11:00.000+01:00

The Evening Post is terrified that the RPZ zones "the great RPZ failure" as they call it, will be expanded after the people in the area who responded to the six-months-live survey were more in favour of it than at the beginning of the zone.

Some people expect us to come out the newspaper's side. Sorry, we're a data driven project which means we drive out to get the data.

1. The RPZ makes it easier for us to get past bicycles as they now keep closer in to the pavement. Result: time saved, and with less fear of dooring, even the underpeople seem happier.

2. The spaces that were normally used by commuters are now free for delivery vehicles.

We don't get held up by vans in our way who don't move until we sound our horn and shout at them.
Our vans can park outside their destination without having to walk or double park and get harassed by people trying to get past.

Kingsdown is one of our popular destinations in the sex-trade-supply-chain, especially as some of the massage parlours use our services to give the punters a lift up the hill again "after you get it up -we get you up", the slogan goes. Having easy parking makes this faster and more discreet.

We suspect the Clifton-faction, the "Keep Parking Free" people will be foaming at the mouth at the expansion plans. Already the Clifton Conservatives are complaining that it has made illegal parking worse in other areas. This is not something our dataset shows, and we have data going back three years now.

We actually look forward to the rollout of an RPZ in Clifton, as that's another popular delivery destination for our products and faster journey and parking times will help our business model. They should get out more -we'll give them a ride home!

Plot 6: bus station or parking?

2011-07-23T07:29:00.032+01:00

For all those entrants to the Friday Quiz: behind the purple fence with the no skateboard or ball games signage is a temporary car park. Temporary. We need something more permanent.

This is why it's exciting to hear that the infamous plot six, the now defunct post-office-railway-integrated sorting/delivery office may well be turned into a multi-storey long-stay car park, and not, as some troublemakers demanded, a transport hub for buses, trains and bicycles.

Providing an integrated transport hub here would merely encourage people to use train+bus, or train+bike, and not offer the revenue opportunities of, say, a five storey car park.

Two issues

We hope the car park is SUV friendly, as Cabot Circus is, and not 1980s-legacy-galleries style.
This is going to increase demand for road access to the area, especially as the Portishead railway line is not going ahead. We propose recognising that the Coronation Road cycle path is a waste of space, and turning that entire pavement into another inbound lane. Yes, some trees will have to go, but they will grow back elsewhere. And as Elf-King Ap Rees says, the South Bristol Link road is critical to make commuting by car into Bristol quicker. Anyone who says otherwise is making "mischievous misleading comments"

We praise the Waltham Forest Faction of Bristol council for their plans, and the assistance of North Somerset and S Gloucs councils.

On this topic, we saw an article recently arguing that the suburban dream in Bristol is in trouble. The actions to improve driving options from North Somerset show that this is false. What has changed is this: the important people in the city, rather than live in the fringe suburbs, have moved out of the city altogether, into the picturesque towns and villages outside: Portishead, Clevedon, Wotton-under-edge, etc. While public transport to the fringe of the city is collapsing, those with money still need to come in, and the increasing use of road space by cyclists, resident parking schemes and expanded pavements is anti-capitalist. It is critical that Bristol Council -who would otherwise pander to their electorate- recognise that the true wealth of the city depends on these out-of-city commuters, and meet their needs: fast wide roads, low-cost in-city parking. The Plot Six and South Bristol Link Road are only part of what we need.

Friday Competition: Temple Quarter

2011-07-22T07:27:00.006+01:00

Over in Temple Quarter there's a big purple wooden fence up with some marketing blurb, including a photo of someone on bike in hi-viz who is "building the future in Bristol"

Where is Temple Quarter. Next to station, where the cyclists dismount stretch of a sustrans route begins.

In the other direction, there's a sign saying "cyclists should dismount for their own safety", specifically, if they don't, they may hit the barriers put to make cyclists dismount for their own safety.

One commuter deftly negotiates the safety feature. One that presumably creates a pedestrian/cycle conflict too.

People might think the area picks on cyclists, and hence note the complete inconsistency between the marketing and reality, but that's unfair.

They pick on all round things, be they cylindrical or spherical.

Now: the competition. What is behind the big purple fence?

Rubbish Parking

2011-07-21T07:00:00.002+01:00

There is a fair amount of pavement parking in Redland. We've chronicled a small proportion of it over the years. In roads like Woodstock Road, and Clarendon Road it's rife.

So it was a shock to see a car (in fact more than one) with all four wheels on the road, parked next to a tree. We suspect that the tree may be the reason, but it's always the exception which proves the rule.

And the Redland Rule is "Park on the Pavement", unlike the Stokes Croft Rule, which is "Park in the Cycle Lane".

If you break the rules, though, you will come in for some flak...

Bristol Traffic

Camera Enforcement Vehicle: Bristol declares war on school parents

Why are you taping my wife?

Grenville Road pavement work

A solution for the M32?

Bus News update : driver in court, Wed Jan 4

Xmas Greeting to the North!

The Mayor's Motor pays the bollard tax

High Kingsdown Shared Space Proposals

Ticketing: its for your own good

Bristol Saracens: the official home of Bristol Paveparking (oh and rugby)

Pop-up shop elitism

Brian Rogers of Kingswood: speaking the truth

Occupy Redland

Using the alternative

Integrated Public Transport

Costa Fortune

Occupy M32: year 40

no, not our van

Railwaypath Ghost Cyclist

Broadmead bumping

More RLJ work on Cheltenham Road

Now some Geister Fahrading on Cheltenham Road

Unfit and bad judgement

Crash by the pump house

Dirac's Antipermeability hypothesis

Une discourse dans le village du Montpelier

Forward Planing

Reclaiming the Streets

Forward Planning

Bristol's Secret Rat-runs

Careful Passing

Not our van: WU10JCY

Not us: we don't speak hungarian

Oktoberfest im Ashton Court

Stop Pedalling, Start Driving

Sponsored by Firstbus

Big Hello to R242AAC: roundabout jumper

Free parking in the Bristol City Centre

Secret Colston Street parking -handy for the BRI

No eye contact - even if they insult you for RLJ-ing

The last days of summer at St Georges Park

The school run

Helmets, hi-viz and tax for pedestrians.

Importance

Pharmacy Plus: proud to sponsor the Frome Valley cycle way

NC53BOV: "try your best"

St Werburgh's Schoolkids

finally: bicycle wheeling is a crime! In Yate!

KY57PZF: it's going to make a great video

Correct junction tactics

Clifton: we can dream, but the bollards deny

Stokes Croft for visitors

CF54UWV: never own up to a SMIDSY, even if you don't think it's being videoed

K33VYP shows their imagination

The joy that is shared spaces

Fighting Back: why it doesn't work

Montpelier's Flowerbox Problem

pamperbanana: introducing PaveClaiming to Clifton

WessexConnect: they block ASLs for your own good

Problems in the RPZ

Fuel Costs and motorbiking

Anarchists. Maybe

Tardis in found Redland?

Electric Vehicles

Reminder:larger craft have right of way

Miffed

You can't ticket me: I have diplomatic immunity

Smart Car: Park all your preconceptions with a test drive on Clifton Downs

Solving the no-taxi problem in Broadmead

DVLA Harassment in Monty

S56JCW? Wasn't us in the van abusing the cyclist.

Bristol Pedestrians Association: the Evening Post Party?

Riots, Root Causes and Random Opinions

Hotwells Primary: the parking problem

Walthamising Hotwells

Clifton: resisting cycling city

Pembroke Road parking opportunities

Pembroke Road: where should Barbara Janke remove the yellow lines?

En Vacance