Clifton Mums Hour

This week is what used to be half term, before we had six term school years.

Last week was different, which meant that the chaos that is Clifton Mums Hour reigned, twice a day or more, in the vicinity of Clifton College.

Imagine the scene... a lone cyclist in College Road trying to get to the Downs vs a Clifton Mum in a car. A no-brainer. Cars parked both sides of the road, no space, and at least a 5 second shorter journey by car. If I were a Clifton Mum I certainly wouldn't let a cyclist hold me up. I'd cut right in front of them and slam on my brakes to let another car park. Or, 5 seconds later, I'd pull right in to the kerb and stop at the zebra crossing, blocking the cyclist again. Ha!

Then I'd hack it off up the road before the cyclist catches up - and park up on the yellow zig-zags outside the school to set a good example to my children, which is what the driver of WR57AXW did.

So if you nip down to The Avenue in Clifton at about 15:00 this week, this chaotic scene will not greet you. There will be no cars parked on yellow zig-zags, no cars on the pavements, and nobody daring to park on the double yellow lines. Give it a week or so though, and you too could join in with the fun, like this:

It's important to note that EK59SDX and WR57AXW are very important people, so are allowed to park their cars on the zig-zags, whilst WM09CZA is probably an actual VIP, as shown by the flashing indicators.

Lesser mortals, such as Range Rover LTP321, WU56TZV, MJ55FUV, WR03AUJ, LB55UHH, WR58WSN, MA07HNL, VN02VUL, WJ58YBB, RO51LOD, KN07PID, XHY1 had to park on the double yellow lines and pavements. They were not alone, but our database will explode if we record many more.

Only T59SAE manages allow pedestrians access to the pavement by staying firmly on the double yellows in the road. Kudos.

Our advice: don't have strange haircuts in Clifton during term-time.

The Stepford wives of Clifton really don't like it.

Lane Markings

Following on with the thought that bike lane markings are bad as they create unrealistic expectations in bicycle riders, can we also complain about that other bit of road that is taken away from us road-tax-payers, the pavement? Again, there are subtle cues - raised kerbs, the texture of broken paving stones underneath- that create the belief amongst tax dodging walkers that the pavement is for them.

Which it isn't. Not here in Cotham Hill. Here it belongs to the vehicles that pay for it -car CW55EUA and van HV53SFE

In the Avenue, Clifton, at school pickup time. It belongs to the parent's whose cars pay for it.

Elsewhere in Clifton, the pavement is shared by the cars LS51YWD and W359YBW.

While on the fringes of town, out near UWE, the pavement provides the ideal space for a small car  like WR03HXU. At least in the new developments they drop the kerb to make its role for cars more obvious.

If the pavement wasn't available for the car owners to use, they woudln't be able to commute by car -so generating tax revenue for government, and it would be much harder to pick up children.

Yet there are activists out there, Living Streets Bristol, who are trying to take away our right to park where we need to, saying the pavements belong to pedestrians, and streets are to be lived in! This is nonsense! Roads are to drive along, pavements let you park near to your home or destination without walking. These people are only whining because they can't afford a car. They are jealous.

There is a living streets meeting on September 14. We need to infiltrate it. They are our streets, and the pavements are for our cars. Here is what we know so far.

14th September 2009 7.30pm
Stag and Hounds upstairs room - Old Market/ Temple Way Junction (next to Evening Post)
Neil Harrison will be coming to talk about the forthcoming Council's draft walking strategy.

Anyone who wants to preserve Bristol's way of life needs to get down there and stop it before it gets out of hand.

The School Run

The Bristol School run is a time of chaos, as you have to drive across town, children wailing in the back, you on the phone. And once you get there, where you are going to park? Especially in a big 4X4.




Fortunately the council provides a special area in front of each school purely for 4X4 Parking. Here a range rover demonstrates its use. You approach the double yellow lines, and get up on the kerb, so as not to inconvenience other 4X4 drivers.

The nice thing about this area is that because it is kept clear of little cars, you don't have to worry about reverse parking a vehicle with no visibility, on the way in or out.



The main inconvenience of this area is the fact that there are sometimes schoolkids milling around, on the designated parking zone (historically this was called a pavement). These are children whose parents are too poor to afford to bring their children to school by 4X4, either they have parked and walked from their little car, or, heaven forbid, they have walked all the way from home. Don't their parents know that is dangerous? Don't they know how polluted the air can be at that time in the morning?

How could they expose their loved ones to such pollution and risk, when they could be driven to school in comfort and safety in a filtered airconditining, high viewing position range rover? And that's apart from the inconvenience which children on zebra crossings cause when you're running late and need to get to school in a hurry. Here they are, still in the way. Can't they see the indicator? Don't they recognise how important someone who owns a car like this must be?

Something should be done. Either the school or the council should come up with a transport plan to help these deprived children get to school by a proper form of transport - a 4X4, here LX05ATN.