Found: one van wing mirror

A wing mirror was spotted in Fairfield Road last week. It's probably gone now as anyone else whose van needs an MOT soon will have picked it up and duct-taped it together enough to get through the "has two wing mirrors" part of the test.

This is why it's always so traumatic when the DVLA hits Montpelier. A lot of people run untaxed vehicles not because the tax and insurance costs have to come after the RAC home recovery breakdown cover in terms of priority, but because the MOT has rules about the number of wing mirrors and the state of bodywork of vehicles, and it is impossible to meet those requirements and keep a car in Montpelier.

The War on Motorists will not be over until the government rolls out specific MOT requirements for different parts of Britain, of Bristol. In Stoke Bishop, for example, you'd fail the test for having an old car, anything less than Group G, and 2 wheel drive would only be permitted on two seater sports toys. In Montpelier, the wingmirror rule would be waived as unrealistic.Taxis would have a special "fail if the indicators and more than one brake light work" clause.

Stolen

Some people point to our linking to Stolen Bristol bikes, as a sign that we are not really anti-bike. However, we don't like bikes being stolen as (a) they get replaced, so increasing the number of bicycles in our streets and (b) the people who steal bikes move up to cars later. Believing that bike thieves should be put to their death before they have learned to drive does not conflict with our other belief, namely that cyclists should be beaten soundly with their own bicycle before being made to pay 15 years worth of back-tax on their vehicle. Indeed, we hope to see the DVLA van performing such a service rather than clamping car drivers who innocently forget to tax, MOT and insure their cars.

We do not like to hear of stolen bikes. Sadly, today, this one: a Marin aluminium mountain bike, rock-shock suspension forks. The key features: small child seat on the front and the seat-post attachments to clip a tagalong and second small child on the back. Taken from near Fairlawn Road, Montpelier, while the father was returning the tagalong to the house.

The owner and his small children will now have to walk to school, which will still inconvenience us car-driving parents, especially as such an ex-cyclist is going to be the kind of troublemaker who ends campaigning against cars driving down the pavement.

Hopefully whoever stole the bicycle will realise that child seats are uncool and abandon it, in which case the owner will be grateful for any sightings.

Wheelpark

This is Fairfield School, Montpelier, now closed down apart from a new community school being set up in the caretaker's office.

Being a closed school, the education department gets to explore interesting new uses of school playgrounds. While many parts of the country have sold off all playgrounds and sports grounds, in many parts of Bristol they have been retained -and so provide lots of benefits to the city.

This experimental combined parking/playground area not only provides parking for staff, but will, once rolled out to other schools in the city, provide lots of extra parking opportunities for staff, yet provide a safe play area for children. It will teach the children how to play safely near cars, and reinforce the idea that all open space in the city should be used for parking.