Sunday, 31 July 2011
01:32 P232YEU. Seen them.
03:46 Eagle Coaches coach waiting in the bus lane. Seen them.
04:45 Family walking across the road. Seen them too.
When even independent videos include content that we already have on our web site, we can conclude that our attempts to build a mass-surveillance infrastructure out of google's datacentre facilities and community contributions are successful. At least for Montpelier, Stokes Croft, Cheltenham Road and bits nearby.
Does this mean it is time to retire: Our work is done? Maybe. But first, time to visit some other parts of the city.
Welcome to Clifton Week at Bristol Traffic!
Saturday, 30 July 2011
I completely agree with people should not park on double yellow lines or zig zags or to close to junction corners all of which cause a danger to other road users but I do not count parking 2 wheels on the pavement in a very narror street that was never meant for parked cars in the first place as the same level of offence.
So far, nobody from the BSM has got in touch with us. However, we are pleased to have video coverage of a discussion between some under-employed tax-dodger and the BSM car WR60CUY, which can be seen driving into the ASL on the red light: the bicycle doesn't get their green light until Shaldon Road is on red, so the car has had five seconds of red before it comes to a halt.
When queried about what the driver thinks the penalty for driving into an ASL is, the driving instructor comes back with the correct answer: anyone who cares about such things doesn't have a life. We actually think this summarises the entire country's cycling activist groups: they only do it because they don't have real lives.
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Apart from Slix and Rita's for food, there is a whole set of massage parlours. Some of them are being gentrified, what with the free WiFi, the mineral water and copies of French newspapers -ideal for visiting heads of the IMF and similar institutes.
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
We define Cornerish Parking as "to park one's vehicle within sight or walking distance of a corner, but not actually on the corner itself"
Here we see it in Kingsdown, just of St Michael's Hill. It is far enough away from the double yellow lines to be exempt
Clifton isn't even a contender here, while Kingsdown, it tries, but doesn't really stand a chance.
Sunday, 24 July 2011
- We don't get held up by vans in our way who don't move until we sound our horn and shout at them.
- Our vans can park outside their destination without having to walk or double park and get harassed by people trying to get past.
We actually look forward to the rollout of an RPZ in Clifton, as that's another popular delivery destination for our products and faster journey and parking times will help our business model. They should get out more -we'll give them a ride home!
Saturday, 23 July 2011
- We hope the car park is SUV friendly, as Cabot Circus is, and not 1980s-legacy-galleries style.
- This is going to increase demand for road access to the area, especially as the Portishead railway line is not going ahead. We propose recognising that the Coronation Road cycle path is a waste of space, and turning that entire pavement into another inbound lane. Yes, some trees will have to go, but they will grow back elsewhere. And as Elf-King Ap Rees says, the South Bristol Link road is critical to make commuting by car into Bristol quicker. Anyone who says otherwise is making "mischievous misleading comments"
We praise the Waltham Forest Faction of Bristol council for their plans, and the assistance of North Somerset and S Gloucs councils.
On this topic, we saw an article recently arguing that the suburban dream in Bristol is in trouble. The actions to improve driving options from North Somerset show that this is false. What has changed is this: the important people in the city, rather than live in the fringe suburbs, have moved out of the city altogether, into the picturesque towns and villages outside: Portishead, Clevedon, Wotton-under-edge, etc. While public transport to the fringe of the city is collapsing, those with money still need to come in, and the increasing use of road space by cyclists, resident parking schemes and expanded pavements is anti-capitalist. It is critical that Bristol Council -who would otherwise pander to their electorate- recognise that the true wealth of the city depends on these out-of-city commuters, and meet their needs: fast wide roads, low-cost in-city parking. The Plot Six and South Bristol Link Road are only part of what we need.
Friday, 22 July 2011
Thursday, 21 July 2011
If you break the rules, though, you will come in for some flak...
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Monday, 18 July 2011
More coverage of WA58BVD elsewhere.
As George Osborne says of these people:we will find you and make you pay
Sunday, 17 July 2011
Saturday, 16 July 2011
"In recent weeks, it has become clear that our strategy of holding back embarrassing content on key politicians in order to achieve our strategic goals has failed. Not just through public disclosure of our tactics, but because the politicians themselves turned out not to be that powerful.
Because of the widespread negative coverage our organisation has received, we must regretfully announce today that Frank Corleone will be leaving the organisation forthwith. His brother, Michael Corleone, will take over as Don Corleone, in charge of corruption, bribery and other operations. Frank Corleone has stated that he will co-operate with the police regarding their investigations, which is why in a few days time he will be blown up in a boat in Lake Tahoe.
We now wish to make it clear to those local media outlets that have been critical of our organisation over the past few days that with the departure of Frank Corleone, we consider anyone who continues to discuss this topic to be disloyal -and as such punitive action will be considered. In particular, such people may end up being part of the foundations of the A4174 bus lane.
In order to clear up accusations of blackmail, we shall be releasing on youtube our video of Barbara Janke being both patronising and hypocritical --and that one showing Stephen Williams MP being unable to start or stop a bicycle.
Thank you for your co-operation.
The Corleone Family -owners of the Bristol Traffic Media Group"
Friday, 15 July 2011
How delighted we are to have been proven wrong, and you are really just plumbers at heart. It is not the size of the van that matters, it is how you drive it that really counts.
Take this example. Posh people in Stoke Bishop don’t want to give up their cars – they want to feel better by installing solar panels to heat their swimming pools. So your driver is quite right to force this tax dodging cyclist out of the way in this quiet residential street on the way to a very important client no doubt.
Maybe the use of your horn could have been better. It was early but these tax dodgers really do need to know their place and it was probably time for Quentin to wake up and get in the 4x4 to school anyway. Transits have better horns, another good reason to consider bigger vans.
But we salute you Gregor Heating. Keep up the good work installing renewable energy for the rich tax payers of Bristol, and well done for treating a carbon free form of transport with the contempt it deserves.
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Friday, 8 July 2011
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
- Car and bicycle heading down the St Michaels Hill, collision.
- Car and bicycle heading down Horfield Road, collision.
- Bicycle heading up St Michaels Hill, collides with car also going up St Michaels Hill
- Bicycle heading down St Michaels Hill, collides with car going down Horfield Road, or up St Michaels Hil.
- Bicycle heading down Horfield Road collides with car pulling out St Michaels Hill and heading downhill
- Bicycle heading up St Michaels Hill towards Horfield Road, gets hit by a car going straight up St Michaels Hill
- Heading down from St Michaels Hill, where you are exposed to vehicles heading in either direction. Gravity works in the bicycle's favour here, it pulls the bicycle forward and minimises the time side-on to traffic.
- Heading up towards Horfield Road, where the bicycle rider is curving right and pushing slowly up something steep -any vehicle heading up St Michaels Hill in a hurry may turn over them. It's like a left hook only without the car making the left turn, it just goes straight on (hence faster), even though the road lanes turn rightwards.
We have no more details than the BBC article -and wish the cyclist a speedy and full recovery.
It looks to us like old market to counterslip lane then down to the St Mary Redcliff roundabout, a loop back towards queen's square, along the harbour front then up Prince Street towards Baldwin Street.
Some people say this is an anti-cycling road design, but the reality is this congestion is a result of the war on motoring. Prince Street bridge was made alternating to cars, hence the congestion on Prince Street and nearby. Queen's square was converted from a dual-carriageway to a so-called-public-square a decade ago, and all those people stuck in the Redcliffe roundabout will be reminiscing about the temporary flyover they took down late last century.
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Sunday, 3 July 2011
- uphill pavement turned into NHS parking, possibly illegally.
- no way for bicycles to get through except on the pavement
- the pavement was blocked to give priority to staff cars
- both dead ends were used as short stay parking for vans
Most residents in Kingsdown feel, as I do, pretty insulted to be presented with a sketch of such pathetically poor quality for Southwell Street.
If the UHB really believes that Southwell Street and other streets in and around Kingsdown can be treated with such contempt, we should not give them any support. I have seen work experience students aged 16 produce more intelligent work than AECOM’s output for UHB. I only hope the hospital trust is not having to pay them fees as well....
At 00:10 the Ginster delivery van does a U-turn without indicating, at which the troublemaker engages in discussion with the driver about, that and the fact that it isn't making any beeping noises. Well, the lorry pays more road tax, and isn't of a size where it needs the beeps. That shuts them. Remember that lorry though.
At 1:02 they execute the highly illegal "pavement bypass" option, so endangering pedestrians.
At 1:16 they meet the a hi-viz'd person planning the traffic calming area -and say to them the plan sucks, because painting a bit of pavement, whether it's in coloured paint or some cobbles down the middle of the road is utterly meaningless. They mutter on a bit, and we think their key point is that taking one pavement off for car parking and closing the other off for safe car park access is somehow wrong.
At 1:38 the cyclist, who is standing in the middle of the "person on the road" lane is actually forced to wheel their bike backwards to let a car out of the staff carpark. This shows to us how the "shared space" design will have no effect on our daily lives, so may as well be permitted. There is a risk of some benefit to people trying to cycle here -as they won't be quite so discouraged by having to hop on and off the pavement, but if we block the bollards with vans often enough, they'll be discouraged differently.
At 1:48 the troublemaker demands some of the pavement back. We'd hoped to have some good news there, but based on the building work it looks like these people have got their way. Somewhat. Wait until tomorrow for the specifics there.
At 2:02 they express concern that the dropoff area in front of the hospital is chaotic, and it will remain so. Well, that's why it's called a dropoff area, isn't it? If people were expected to do dropoffs and pickups on St Michael's hill, there'd be an area there instead.
at 2:20 their rant finishes and they finally head off, presumably to the relief of the site team. They then proceed down a road that clearly has room for parking all down one side, yet lacks it. And there are an oddly large number of pedestrians, given the effort the NHS has gone to here to discourage walking.
At 2:43 you can see some people trying to cross Horfield Road. Notice the wide five-junction crossing here. It's a dangerous exposed crossing and people shouldn't attempt it, not when there is a zebra crossing further up the road, as the video shows at 3:07. If people aren't prepared to cross the road where a crossing has been provided, well, it's like people on bicycles not using the bike lanes.
At the zebra crossing they do a U-turn, and at 3:08 show what is paveparked over yellow lines round the corner: Ginster delivery van HN58LVK. Purely because Southwell Street doesn't support through traffic, that van had to do a 180 degree turn in a narrow drop-off street, turn right up St Michael's Hill, right again on to Myrtle Road, then onto Alfred place. One U-turn and two right turns -not just a philosophy for the coalition government, it's costing the company money. The DfT puts a financial cost on critical business motoring, and its clear that closing this road has tangible costs to that key part of the economy: the white van.
Therefore, although the proposals don't take much away from us, they don't deliver what we need, either -the removal of the gate and the re-instatement of Southwell Street as a van-friendly rat-run!
Saturday, 2 July 2011
It seems the Police and the Main Stream Media do...
We don't care about the non-existant petrol bombs, of course, as we bought the real, value Banksy posters instead and made a killing on eBay.
However... we are hoping Tesco will still be able to supply us with fresh milk next Sunday morning, after the St Paul's Carnival, before we drive around Bristol looking for Gorillas.*
*Bristol Traffic is not affiliated in any way with Bristol Zoo, but we do like Gorillas.