A brand new Urban Village

We are keeping an eye one some newly proclaimed subversives, the People's Cycling Front of South Gloucestershire, whose goal is for S Gloucs to have cycle paths that the Dutch won't laugh at.

They have denounced the new cycle paths of the Tailspin housing estate between Lockleaze and the MoD as something the Dutch will laugh at, which apparently they did.

Well, let's drive out and see, as we were worried that this estate may be encouraging alternative transport instead of the joys of the A4174 ring road of a weekday evening.

Next to the sign advertising a new way of live in a Brand new Urban Village, we see a photo of a family all cycling without helmets on the path beside the estate. There are no houses in the photo as it was taken "before". There is some text in the advert about how wonderful it will be, but the ageing VW Polo hides it.

Nearby, it has that Urban Village flavour -maybe even a taste of Montpelier- as a VW Golf parks up on the pavement, some student cycles by, and the 20 mph roadsign has been twisted to one side by a passing truck.

Round the corner, as the subversives noted, yes, there is a new cycling path which is about 40 cm higher than the old one.

What has changed since last week's denunciation is the give way signs for traffic crossing this cycle path have been removed.

Nothing to fear here then. Business as usual. No happy families will be using these paths to get to the city, or even as far as crashing into the bollards by the MoD.

We hear the Cycling Front are planning a kind of competition one lunch time next week to see who can ride the path, mountain bikes with or without suspension recommended. Keep an eye on their @cyclingfront twitter feed for news.

Shocked and Appalled by these subversives

We are shocked and appalled that militant eco-activists would attack our petrol stations and deny us our right to keep the government afloat. And Shell make record profits -as is their right.

We do not know who these people are-they claim to be "Bristol and Bath Rising Tide"

We condemn them utterly. One of our 4x4s was help up for 15 minutes.

That said, they did appear to make Muller Road more cheerful than it normally is. And while none of them appear to be wearing helmets, many are at least wearing hi-viz, -unlike the troublemakers in South Gloucestershire.

South Gloucestershire bollards: who are the subversives?

Yesterday, we showed photographs of militant cyclists taping reflective strips to camouflaged bollards by the MOD Abbeywood site. Today we see some more photographs, showing hi-viz tape going up too!

Like we said, we don't suspect anyone associated with the Bristol Cycling Campaign to have done this, as S Gloucs council has a process for dealing with those people:

1. There is a monthly cycling forum, to which the activist cycle and the area's cycling advocate drives.
2. The cycling campaigners complain while the council staff nod and draw doodles on their notepads.
3. The campaigners' complaints get ignored.
4. The council staff drive home to their nice houses, laughing.
5. The cyclists pedal home in the rain, wondering what went wrong.

No, this was done by criminals out there, acting without control, without checks and balances, without morals. 

Who could it be?

According to the anonymous supplier of the photographs it was the People's Cycling Front of South Gloucestershire

They are not to be confused with the South Gloucester Popular Cycling Front, who was shopping at the Sainsbury's superstore nearby at the time.

We are disappointed that such clearly dangerous people could get close to an MoD site without being arrested.

Have any other subversives been taking to the street in our fair city, harassing motorists, taxi and lorry drivers on their important missions, parents trying to get their children to school by car safely, street designers trying to improve the streets for all these people? Reporting of such outrages to the Bristol Traffic site are welcome, so we can document the fall of our city into lawlessness.

Bristol Bike Project: A success story

Only a few days after visiting the Bristol Bike Project, and already we can recognise the signs of one of their donated bikes.

It's not the bike itself -there's nothing wrong with having a twenty year old supermarket-grade mountain bike that is still running the original Tioga Farmer John tyres and thumbshifters -retro is back in you know, though ideally with bikes that were actually good in 1991.

The real clue is the way the owner treats it. Rather than as an undervalued utility vehicle, the people that those subversives in the Bristol Bicycle Project have been supporting are so poor, so deprived, that this is about their only possession -so they love it and value it more than anyone else. It's that expression of care that gives it away. Instead of leaving it in the manned bike parking area, this bicycle is so precious that the owner brings it with them at all times.

The other sign is the general unhealthy appearance of the individual. Not only does he have a strange accent from abroad, his body looks as though it has been neglected over the years, with their legs and arms taking on the pallor of someone unwell. It is the classic suntan of someone from a Glasgow or Edinburgh housing estate, the "Trainspotting Look".

This particular individual said that although originally from Wales, he was chased out of his country for his political beliefs (LibDem). He now has to regularly travel to London to seek work. Many local political activists have told me that it is unfair that he should suffer this way, and hope that he will soon have to stop such travel. We in Bristol Traffic have no opinion on the topic, other than to express our concern over the state of his legs. A bit of sunlight will do wonders there. Coming out to the St Werburgh's fair could be the first step in this recovery process.

Bristol Bike Project: the people

We managed to sneak some photographs of the subversives on the Bristol Bike Project. They aren't giving the bikes away, or selling them. They are making the people who want a bike come down and fix one together -under supervision. Here James is showing Mohammed from Ethiopia how to set up the front derailleur/click-shifter.

Nearby, Alfil and Asad are admiring the bike they've just got lights and mudguards on, under Colin's supervision.

The students are even learning how to fix punctures.

This "earn your bike" program is quite subversive

1. It ensures only people who really want a bicycle get one.
2. It gives the new owner a good feeling of accomplishment. Instead of being pushed around by the state, you are starting to gain some control of their lives.
   
3. Once you've put in the effort, you will value it more, look after it more.
4. You are now equipped with all the skills needed to keep a bike alive. You may need to borrow the tools from time to time, but you can mostly fend for yourself.
5. You are equipped to maintain other people's bikes too.
   

That's pretty devious, and by the expressions on the refugees' faces, you can see they are looking forward to getting out on the bikes.


And that's the problem. Right now: refugees, asylum seekers, Big-Issue vendors. The underpeople of the city, despised by we, the Daily Mail reading majority of the city. A scapegoat-group for all our troubles.

But at least they stay out the way. Once they have a bike, they are free to get in the way of us taxpayers, and so become members of a completely different scapegoat-group -the town's cyclists! A group of people more broadly hated in the mainstream press than any asylum speaker would ever otherwise be. They have no idea what they are getting in to.

Anti-car subversives -in our own city!

Anyone who follows this blog will know that we think pedestrians and schoolkids should be banned, and as for bicycles, well, their owners should be made to pay an annual tax, and even then not allowed to ride their bike on roads or pavements, but only on a small bit of path where a bus runs alongside it, a path where they are required to wear helmets and hi-visibility clothing.

As such, we follow the party line of the Association of British Drivers and the Daily Mail, as well as its local sibling paper, the Evening Post.

It comes as a shock to discover, then, that none of these prestigious organisations have picked up on a growing scandal in our midst - a small group of subversives who are actively trying to make things worse for car drivers in the city -by giving bicycles to people who cannot afford them!

These people, the Bristol Bike Project, are being quite open about it. From their bunker somewhere in Stokes Croft, they are fixing up old bicycles, and giving them away. They are even begging for anyone in the city who has an unused bicycle rusting away to bring it down, to donate it, and they will fix it up or use it for parts to fix up the others.

What is most shocking is that people in this city have really been doing this! We can understand why fellow citizens would have a bike rusting away, after all, once you grow up you don't need it, but to give the bikes away, so they can be used? Do these people not realise that by their generosity cars, taxis and buses will be held up, while pedestrians are endangered?

We couldn't believe this was true, so snuck down on the pretence of being there to donate some parts -in reality we'd just stolen them from a bike outside, so ensuring there would be at least one less bike in our way today, then while the project team were distracted, we took some photographs with our hidden micro-camera.

Look, a whole production line of machines, waiting to be built up and in the way of tax-payers! Apparently they've built up sixty already, to refugees, asylum-seekers, big-issue vendors and other non-tax payers -out there, getting in our way. And there are more on the way. After positive press in some bike site, and Bristol Indymedia, more have been coming in.

And not just adult bikes, kid bikes too! So children will be getting in our way!

Are these subversives satisfied? No they are not! They are still asking for more bikes! for more spare parts! From tyres to brakes! Adult bikes and kid bikes!

This is a scandal -yet the mainstream press haven't picked up on it, not even the socialist papers like the Independent, that will probably praise its goody-goody-ness.

It must be stopped. But what to do? The solution is simple.

Nobody should even think of donating old bikes or old bike parts to the team down on city road -the team whose email address is thebristolbikeproject at gmail.com. To do that would be madness, it would only encourage more people to get out on their bikes and get the way of decent, tax-paying, daily-mail readers like us.