Saturday 13 June 2009

Anti-car subversives -in our own city!

Anyone who follows this blog will know that we think pedestrians and schoolkids should be banned, and as for bicycles, well, their owners should be made to pay an annual tax, and even then not allowed to ride their bike on roads or pavements, but only on a small bit of path where a bus runs alongside it, a path where they are required to wear helmets and hi-visibility clothing.

As such, we follow the party line of the Association of British Drivers and the Daily Mail, as well as its local sibling paper, the Evening Post.

It comes as a shock to discover, then, that none of these prestigious organisations have picked up on a growing scandal in our midst - a small group of subversives who are actively trying to make things worse for car drivers in the city -by giving bicycles to people who cannot afford them!

These people, the Bristol Bike Project, are being quite open about it. From their bunker somewhere in Stokes Croft, they are fixing up old bicycles, and giving them away. They are even begging for anyone in the city who has an unused bicycle rusting away to bring it down, to donate it, and they will fix it up or use it for parts to fix up the others.

What is most shocking is that people in this city have really been doing this! We can understand why fellow citizens would have a bike rusting away, after all, once you grow up you don't need it, but to give the bikes away, so they can be used? Do these people not realise that by their generosity cars, taxis and buses will be held up, while pedestrians are endangered?

We couldn't believe this was true, so snuck down on the pretence of being there to donate some parts -in reality we'd just stolen them from a bike outside, so ensuring there would be at least one less bike in our way today, then while the project team were distracted, we took some photographs with our hidden micro-camera.
Look, a whole production line of machines, waiting to be built up and in the way of tax-payers! Apparently they've built up sixty already, to refugees, asylum-seekers, big-issue vendors and other non-tax payers -out there, getting in our way. And there are more on the way. After positive press in some bike site, and Bristol Indymedia, more have been coming in.
And not just adult bikes, kid bikes too! So children will be getting in our way!

Are these subversives satisfied? No they are not! They are still asking for more bikes! for more spare parts! From tyres to brakes! Adult bikes and kid bikes!
This is a scandal -yet the mainstream press haven't picked up on it, not even the socialist papers like the Independent, that will probably praise its goody-goody-ness.

It must be stopped. But what to do? The solution is simple.

Nobody should even think of donating old bikes or old bike parts to the team down on city road -the team whose email address is thebristolbikeproject at To do that would be madness, it would only encourage more people to get out on their bikes and get the way of decent, tax-paying, daily-mail readers like us.

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