Stokes Croft for visitors

A Visitors Book briefly appeared at the bottom of Ninetree Hill last month, dangling from a tree

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Some people think it's cute, but we know different. It's a new way to catch rioters.

If every hour the police come up and put their name in along with the time, then if there's a riot all they need to do is go to the book, look at who signed it during the riot, and put them away for five year. It's the physical version of facebook. Indeed, it even has the work "book" in there, which is one of those concepts the Daily Mail want to ban, or at least burn.

Fortunately YA55VDY is wise to these police tactics, and doesn't sign the book.

For those readers who don't live in our fair city, it's about time we gave them a view of Stokes Croft, one that shows how it is the areas leading artistic and cultural quarter. Which it is.

At least, provided giant grinning skulls painted by 3dom and Rowdy are things you can cope with. We feel for the people on Dove Street, who have that staring at them out their bedroom windows. How long do you have to live there before it starts talking to you?

YA55VDY does the 'croft

This is lovely, a coming together of our favourite subjects

The Medina Dairies delivery van, YA55VDY, parked over the stokes croft "cycle lane", just up from the post office van and another white van. Keeping the croft free of tax-dodgers, and bringing Yoghurt-related produce to paying customers

YA55DVY - caught letting Medina Dairies Down

YA55VDY is a cult van to us. Never seen to park legally, instead encountered driving up onto pavements, sounding its horn at pedestrians to get out of the way. A delivery van's delivery van.

Yet what should we see on our travels round the city than this very van outside the Star And Garter pub, Montpelier

That's right. The famous van, parked kerbside, on a road with no yellow markings. No wheels on the pavement.

This is a shocking site, and makes us question the entire delivery model of Medina dairies "avoid refrigeration by driving fast and parking close to the shops".

Fortunately, we have evidence that the van driver's colleague who has the Dovercourt Road delivery knows what to do with the van LK08LDN

When given a choice between parking legally in a gap four times the length of your vehicle or double parking, go for the easiest option.

Roundabout work #2: 08:17

Once the mercedes that blocked vehicles getting off the roundabout had cleared it, vehicles wanting to get onto St Michael's Hill could pull out, and here see the correct tactic: stop cars getting onto the roundabout. It's the only way to reduce demand, and so ensure the junction clears.

Which vehicle do we see here? Yes, its YA55VDY, the cult van of Bristol Traffic

Notice how the vehicle following this car is also in the mini-roundabout, but it hangs back to actually allow pedestrians to cross at the traffic island. Of course, this will prevent vehicles turning right to pull out, which is a bit selfish, but it does allow the roundabout to clear by reducing vehicle ingress rates to match that of egress rates.

The key point here is that it shows that those fellow-motorist-activist groups who advocate removing traffic lights are either missing the point or hiding the truth. On a junction without lights -like this one- the only way to get through is to be aggressive: drive the big vehicles, the 4x4, or even better, the battered big-vehicle, such as the white van. Now we, as white-van drivers, are happy with this, but we think the harsh truth should be discussed in the open, not discovered once they remove lights from the city centre: whoever values their vehicle least wins.

YA55VDY pulls out

People have been mailing us, where is the Yoghurt Van YA55VDY? Has some disaster struck Bristol's supply of dairy goods. The answer is no, the clocks changing just altered its schedule.

It doesn't pull off without indicating from the buildout by Whiteladies Gate until 08:10 now, helping to remind the driver of the honda SUV why buying a vehicle that may survive a collision with a white van was a good decision that makes school runs safer.


Note how the driver actually waves our (sadly cycling) reporter. The proposed GBBN changes may make it harder for this van, as the buildout may not be so large. While we can't see from the design whether or not bollards are planned, we fear the worst.

The cult of YA55VDY and the impact of the Whiteladies Showcase Bus Route

Mid life crises. What do do? Sports cars? Mamils? Fixies. No: stalking. It's under-respected, and what the Internet, from Google to Facebook was made for.

We in the B.T. Project have taken up stalking one vehicle, and are pursuing it round the city. YA55VDY: the van that we are proud to have never ever seen parked even vaguely legally.

It's more than just a protest against anti-car, anti-van features, this takes dedication. Here, for example, you could park parallel to the double yellow lines, unload safely and pull out without having to back up blind into Picton Street first. But no, the driver has chosen to park 1m away from the kerb, echelon style, to make a statement. Deliveries matter.

We also have some footage from one of our secretly-instrumented cyclists going down Cotham Hill -you can see the distinctive shape of the van enables our tax-dodger to recognise the vehicle from a distance. This van is now famous!

Now, what's inside the van? We couldn't be bothered to drive over and look, but one of the cycle activists we were haranging here in Monty did -Captain Bikebeard says "yoghurt". Now we know.

In fact, this van is now so famous it deserves its own Facebook fan page. One van, one driver, prepared to stand up against an oppressive state by refusing to park where they make him, instead always -even if it means going out of his way- parking "illegally", as if the state gets to decide where is and isn't legal to park your van.

A few days later, we see it now on the double yellows on Whiteladies Road. 

The showcase bus route proposes changes here, so where the van is parked to unload will become a dedicated left turn into Cotham Hill, with its own light sequence. The Cotham Hill zebra crossing will go away, be replaced by some lights which will allow us to drive through while pedestrians wait to cross (as if we didn't do that already), while the addition of a new lane and pedestrian refuge will make walking across the road harder -and well-nigh impossible for any parent with bike plus child trailer or tagalong, which our secretly instrumented report appears to be doing.

This is why we have mixed feelings about the showcase bus route proposal.

Against:

• Removes commuter parking from Whiteladies Road.
• Encourages bicyclists to cycle up and down the road

Pro

• Increases short stay parking on Whiteladies Road.
• Removes a zebra crossing used during the rush hour by slow-moving children and students.
• Adds a dedicated feed-in lane to Cotham Hill.
• The feed in lane will suddenly abandon the cyclists from the safety of a dedicated lane to a situation where they have to merge right into the Whiteladies Road lane just at the same time that all the Redland Mum traffic turning left is trying to swerve left to get into this lane, so putting off the cyclists from every trying to commute by bicycle ever again.

One of our concerns here is that, in the age of austerity, we don't see why any money needs to be spent so that cars can cut in from Whiteladies Road to Cotham Hill. We force our way through the zebra crossing anyway, so all it does is actually increase the likelihood that we get held up by a red light; removes the option of turning right from Cotham Hill to Whiteladies Road, and makes it harder to get a lorry through the corner.

YA55VDY in Monty

We are great fans of the delivery van YA55VDY. It does an invaluable service -bringing short lifespan dairy products to the little shops in the city, helping them resist the overwhelming giants of (Tesco, Asda, Sainsburys). What we also like is the fact that we have never, ever, seen it park legally.

Some people may think this is a policy decision by the driver, but we think its a direct consequence of those corner shops being on corners, on popular roads (with bike lanes and double yellow lines), and on routes that pedestrians use. The driver has no choice!

Today we see how YA55VDY has been forced to park in the middle of Picton Street. Not on a pavement, not on double yellow lines. Not inconveniencing pedestrians, and by reducing through traffic, making Montpelier a nicer part of the city to live in.

Hints of a rebellion

Earlier in the week, the infamous Bristol Blogger, tipped us off :

"I overheard some dangerous anarchists last night discussing dropping stuff off at their annual bookfair on Stokescroft.

And their plan? To stop and unload outside the venue on the cycle lane!"

We checked, and yes, the Bristol Anarchist Bookfair is on September 11 at Hamilton House, home to reasonable beer and some subversive cyclists.

However, if you are starting a revolution, parking on a bike lane in Stokes Croft is hardly an auspicious way to do it. Look, earlier in the week, our famous YA55VDY is out there, unloading stuff on a bike lane. Everyone does it. It's the only free parking in the area.

It's not exactly a Battleship Potemkin or seizing of the Bastille class event.

Come on subversives, try harder!

Monty Parking Problems

In East Germany, people feared the Stasi: Europe's best secret police, where about one adult in six was reporting on the others. Nowadays, people think the future lies in instrumented cars, datacentres and the like. We say no, back to the old ways! All it takes is for people to get out there and report on each other! If you don't see anyone else, report yourself!

Showing that people beat technology, some (sadly low quality) footage hits our inbox of the ubiquitous YA55VDY van, here in Montpelier.

This is the first time the driver has ever made the screen, normally because they manage to get their dairy delivery van close enough to the destination that they can slide back the door and unload. But here, in Montpelier, they are forced to get out and walk across the road. They are at least wearing a hi-viz top, as crossing roads is dangerous. We would rather swerve across the road and park on the pavement than do it ourselves.

The fact that the van has now been forced to park on the wrong side of the road, increasing danger to the driver and slowing their delivery schedule down shows how Montpelier's anti-car policy is increasing business costs in the city, just as Noel Edmonds complains. If the pedestrian people hadn't had the bollard put back in at the turning, and added that bike parking outside the Thali Cafe, there would be more parking for important deliveries -and the driver would not be forced to risk their life by crossing this busy road -where they could easily be hit by passing bicycles.

Delivery is everything

We know this van. We've seen it more than once before, but never on Redland Road

As we reflect on our new political landscape, it's worth remembering that, promises are one thing, but delivery is another.

Clearly the driver of YA55VDY is destined for a seat in the cabinet. Note the tactics - delivery accomplished, careful positioning, blocking, get-out strategy (front or rear), and all without affecting the very important people that drive up Redland Road. Genius.

Monty: widen the pavements!

Here is a van already in our database, YA55VDY,  usually making full use of the build-out on whiteladies road by the pedestrian crossing, or up Cotham Hill.

Here they have tried to get as far up on the pavement as is possible on a day that the locals have put their bins out, yet the recycling lorry is held up by it.

We propose: widening the pavements of montpelier so that vans will be able to get more onto them. This will keep through traffic flowing.

The other possibility would be to ban the placement of even small recycling/rubbish bins on the pavement, as it forces vehicles to park 50cm further away from the buildings (taking into account roof overhangs).

Paveparking: its for the pedestrians, you understand

Cotham Hill is fascinating, a single road that exemplifies all the conflicting needs of the city: pedestrians, of which there are too many for the narrow pavements. Intermittent trains arriving. Cars: the free parking pulls people in, and abandons them. The school run parents, the cyclists on a road too narrow for them, and the delivery vans and lorries.

What is not picked up on is why the delivery vans park on the pavement here. They are bringing supplies to the shops. Shops whose main customers are people on foot, be they students or train passengers. Those people need to pop in and by snacks and supplies, which means that a modern Just-In-Time supply chain needs to keep those shops full.

08:30, a train has just come in, and that means this is the perfect time for the delivery van YA55VDY to pull onto the pavement, park there on the zebra crossing zig-zags and see if there is anything needed this day. The fact that this interferes with car and cyclist visibility is unimportant: these are not the target customers.

A different day, a bit later on. Again, someone is bringing supplies to shops further up the road. No, pedestrians can't see to cross the road safely -but that gives them a perfect opportunity to visit one of the local cafes.

It is interesting that it is normally the same vehicle that appears in our database. The driver of the van YA55VDY must own the problem of keeping shops and cafes up this road fully supplied in milk and yoghourt related produce. With a single vehicle driving up the hill, stopping on the pavement wherever it needs to, congestion and road pollution is kept at at minimum.

If the pedestrians knew how hard work it was keeping them supplied in their morning, afternoon and evening snacks, perhaps they would be more appreciative of those people who struggle to pull it off -whatever the weather!

Cotham Hill

The bike/lorry collision on Cotham Hill -suspiciously a week after a "ghost bicycle" appeared on that road- has triggered a quick review of our data on the area. Neil Harrison, the local councillor states that there will be changes coming in the next 12-18 months as part of a Showcase Bus Route down Whiteladies Road, which will be interesting to see. Until then, the buildout make a nice parking area for YA55VDY, who is quite a regular visitor.

Cotham Hill is an interesting road: interesting shops, and the primary traffic is foot passengers to and from the University and Cotham Grammar; hence the various shops and cafes. But cars sprint up it to get to St Michael's Hill; it saves you going down to the lights at Tyndall's Park Avenue, and so gains 20-30 seconds. There is a price: you can wait for a while at the mini roundabout at the summit, unless you are extra aggressive there and pull out ahead of vehicles who have the right of way -and not just bicycles!

For cycle traffic, it is two way at the top, which is not something all vehicles expect. Cars sprinting across it are your main threat heading down on a bike, especially at peak redland-mum hours; 08:15-09:00 and 15:00-16:00. Then there is the junction at the bottom. Getting off and walking over the pedestrian crossing is the easiest way of dealing with that. Through some quirk in the software, pedestrians get lots of time on these lights, even during peak car commuter hours.

Cotham Hill is useful for anyone driving to the Clifton Down shopping area as it offers the only free, short-stay parking in the area now that the railway car park is pay-and-display. This means that any car/van traffic that doesn't want to pay to park heads up here, but of course the free parking spaces are gone, nobody wants to turn round so they park on the double yellow stretches instead. This is a classic example of "transitive" free parking: when you set off with the intent to park for free on a road, the absence of any legal parking space does not get in the way of your plans, you just park in the closest area remaining. Adding a nominal fee to the (limited duration) parking on this stretch might have some effect.

The Builder's Merchants adds the hazard of large vehicles entering/exiting, and their customers: van drivers. We have examined our back catalogue of data on this road, and have two videos from November alone

Van Pullout #1 on Cotham Hill

Notice the large domino's pizza lorry parked on single yellow lines and a bit of the zig zags., obscuring all visibility. We have seen them before.

As the bicycle approaches the junction, a white van pulls out in front of them from the builder's merchants. Fortunately, this tax-dodger was not "cycling too fast" so there were no problems.

Van Pullout #2 on Cotham Hill

This van shows the correct way to pull out in front of a bicycle: aggressively. By putting his foot down and going forward before pulling out, the driver of van HN56JYJ manages to get in front of the bicycle even though there wouldn't be room to do this safely if they pulled out directly.

Apparently, the cyclist, at the lights they not only held up the driver, they walked over to express their concerns about the van's lack of indicator use. You can hear the van driver -rightfully- disputing this: there's no need to indicate to non-tax payers; you can also hear his the horn as he is finally allowed to go. Note, sadly, the extremely damaged state of the front of the vehicle; he may have been driving over-aggressively at least once in the past. You have to remember to only run over pedestrians and cyclists, as they do less damage than other motor vehicles.

BBC gets on message: bicycles are the problem

We were really worried when the House of Commons Public Accounts Committe report on road safety came out -once we'd read the report.

Key findings

• Focus on child safety in deprived areas.
• Speed amplifies injuries so 20 mph zones are great
• Monitor road safety schemes to see if they actually work
• Nobody is monitoring injury rates, so all statistics on road safety have to be viewed as doubtful. Reducing the death rate is not enough if the injury rate is increasing.

We were worried. We we worried that they might pick up on our right to use a build-out by zig-zags for parking, such as demonstrated on Whiteladies Road by YA55VDY at 08:22 on October 7 2009.

Similarly, we were worried they might express concern that driving and parking on pavements at popular junctions during the school run might be viewed as endangering kids, such as again demonstratedby YA55VDY at 08:13 on October 17, 2009.

What to do? We had an emergency phone conference with our fellow travellers, the Daily Mail, and a couple of MPs who were courting the Daily Mail vote. And we had an idea. One of the points said "look at the perceived cyclist/pedestrian conflict", as apparently those people who write lots of letters in green ink to their MPs care about this a lot. That's it, the problem we in Bristol Traffic think is the route cause of risk in our streets: bicycles on pavements.

That's it! we said, focus on this, pretend it is the key finding, not that cars speeding through the less well off parts our cities are killing the children, not that there isn't room on the pavements for bicycles or pedestrians on account of all the cars.

We were a bit concerned that the statistics didn't hold up, that nobody in our city has been killed by a bike on a pavement, but we have had people killed this year crossing the road, we have had schoolkids killed on the pavement by cars, we have had cyclists killed on the road. What to do? Get some quotes from the docile MPs who will do anything to get their names in the paper. And we did.

We got the article out the Daily Mail, that was to be expected -MPs call for laws against bicycles, but since the Jan Moir article on Stephen Gately exposed the paper as being a relic of the 1930s, and something to ridicule, we needed a more mainstream channel.

We wanted to appear on question time, but apparently the BBC had already booked their speaker, so it had to be a bit of journalism instead. Which had us worried. Journalism. That means research, insight and writing. How would the BBC report this?

Would they read the report and come down hard against our right to drive round the city at speed, to finish our commute by parking our cars on the buildout by the double yellow lines, here outside the physiotherapy department of the BRI?

Would the BBC pick on the speed issue, embrace the Bristol Council proposals to reduce the speed limit in the deprived parts of the city? Would they look at the discussion on injury rates, enquire of hospitals what the trends are, and perhaps find some unpleasant facts about that Britain is becoming a more dangerous place to walk around, on account of -dare we say it- the cars.

Fortunately, they went for the MP's quotes rather than even looking at the report's summary This produced some lovely "Target pavement cyclists" headlines and with a consistent "Parliament blames the bicycles" story, even the on-line bicycle press didn't bother to download the report and realise that we, Bristol Traffic, had made the headlines and all the quotes up.

I mean really, how could a respectable news outlet fall for quotes that are straight out of Monty Python? Like this one from Geraldine Smith (Labour), "A police superintendent was at this forum with me and he said that it was legal to cycle on pavements." That is so wrong; the police not enforcing things that aren't actually illegal. Or this one, from Tory MP David Curry, some cyclists were "irresponsible and arrogant road users"? Yes, that is what we want: the next parliament to make being "irresponsible and arrogant on a bicycle" a crime. It will be the first step to banning the two-wheeled terrorists from our streets entirely.

Victory! Success! We, Bristol Traffic, in collaboration with the Daily Mail, are not only writing articles for our own news outlets, we are setting the agenda for the country. Now that the Daily Mail can't be racist, can't blame rape victims and can't be homophobicwithout 25,000 press complaints, attacking the cyclists is the oneluxury the press has left, and we will exploit it to the utmost.

All those bike people that view us as some kind of satire will have a different look on their face now, now that they realise that we are setting the battle lines for the next election. It won't be about financial competence, how to handle the fact that Britain is £270 Trillion in debt and rising, it won't be that the mass employment industries are toast and with North Sea oil declining year on year, we won't have the cash flow that kept us going through the 1980s. The issue that neither party who stands a chance of getting a majority appears to know what to do isn't going to be raised. No, the next election will be about what really matters: bicycles on pavements.

Fear Bristol Traffic! We are in charge, and you, the little people, don't even realise it!

Build-outs: for safer deliveries

One of the big problems of the council is how to ensure safety of delivery van drivers. They have a hazardous life, always trying to find somewhere close to the dropoff point, always popping in and out of the drivers entrance to the vehicle, and often having to do this by stepping out onto the road round a van that is parked so as to destroy pedestrian visibility.

Although they lack their own militant pressure group, we keep an eye on them and what measures could be taken to help make this town become "delivery van city"

On this weekday morning, at 08:15 - the school pedestrian rush- we were pleased to see one of the new delivery van dropoff points in action, here on the junction of Whiteladies Road and Cotham Hill

By pulling onto the pavement the driver of YA55VDY was able to stop without inconveniencing any tax-payers, and unload their wares straight into the shop, before continuing on their way to their next destination. The only hard part of using this build-out was getting up onto the kerb, but by pulling onto the lowered crossing area at full speed, they were able to do this quite smoothly-once all the schoolkids and parents jumped out the way!

If only the rest of the city provided such dedicated vehicle delivery facilities!