Actually, they are our photographs

A comment arrives on our Never park up the inside of an HGV post.

YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU ARE DIFFUSING TOTALLY WRONG INFORMATIONS AND
I'M ACTUALLY AMAZED AND VERY ANNOYED THAT YOU CAN DO SUCH THING AND USE PHOTOGRAPHS THAT ARE NOT YOURS AND USE THEM AT YOUR WILL TO ILLUSTRATE YOUR POINT.THIS VEHICLE WAS MINE AND WAS PARKED (NO ONE WAS IN IT) LEGALLY ON THE ROAD AND THE DRIVER HIT MY CAR WITH THE BACK OF HIS LORRY.I WON THE CASE WITH THE INSURANCE (OBVIOUSLY) AND HAD 3 WITNESSES TO CONFIRM THE INCIDENT.INSTEAD OF TALKING COMPLETE NONSENSE YOU SHOULD CHECK THE ACCURACY OF YOUR FACTS MR SO CALLED BLOGGER. THE FACT IS THAT OVERSIZE LORRIES SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO ENTER SUCH NARROW AND TIGHT ROAD AS THEY'VE CAUSED SEVERAL INCIDENTS OF THE SAME NATURE IN THAT STREET.I HOPE YOU'LL HAVE THE DIGNITY TO PUBLISH MY COMMENT AND DIFFUSE THE REAL INFORMATION AND NOT WHAT SUITS BEST YOUR CASE. THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY THINK OF IT.




Well, where do we begin?

1. You are correct, we have no idea what we are talking about.
2. The right to talk complete nonsense is a fundamental aspect of press freedom.
3. They are our photos.

One of our reporters pedalled past about 09:00 that morning, at which point the cardboard wasn't there, just a rear hatch that looked like it had be ripped off. Given the fairly distraught woman nearby, they chose to continue & not take pics. It was on the way back from work that this photo was taken.

Taken: 13/feb/2012 at 16:40, ISO 200 f/3.3, 1/30s, 25mm, Manual white balance: cloudy. The full resolution pics are 4000x3000 if you want them.


Now, we do have a reasonable amount of coverage of HGVs on our site. For example,

• how a war-on-motoring city tries to stop HGVs getting to Clifton.
• How a failure to widen the back streets of Montpelier makes it impossible to get a lorry down them without dragging parked cars along (and yes, we would have provided a witness there if needed)
• How trying to drive round Bristol in an HGV is a stressful job.
• How bicycles end up underneath them [1,2]

Now, we do recognise your complaint about narrow roads being unsuited to HGVs -but you have to recognise that in a modern society, HGVs need to be able to drive down every road in the city.

How else can they deliver pre-prepared salad to the Tesco corner shop of Clifton if they can't park on double yellow lines and zebra crossings?

How else can they deliver cheese to the Tesco "flammable" express of Cheltenham Road if they can't park in the bike lane?

How else can they park at an empty dual carriageway except on the shared use pavement?

We're afraid that you'll just have to accept that losing 1-2 cars a week to passing HGVs is the price of living near the Miner's Arms and Farm pubs. We'll take submissions of other incidents, and you get to retain copyright of your images.

In the mean time, please enjoy the rest of our site.

suboptimal data collection strategies - or a secret plan to spy on us

A strange sight: four people wearing hi-viz sitting on the St Werbughs crossing of the M32

What are they up to? The "Highways Agency" text on the back gives the game away -they are monitoring traffic flow, with multiple people to independently monitor different lanes,
 
Some questions spring to mind

1. Why hi-viz? Really? It's a pedestrian footpath that some cyclists also use. Unless you have a fear of being run over by one of those two-kid-wide pushchairs, its the safest place in the city to sit. 
2. Counting traffic by hand? Why not just go to the bit of the Highways Agency that collects the ANPR data and use that instead. If you hook the M32 data up with those of the M4W, M4E and M5 feeds, you can even work out where people go to after leaving the M32. As any vehicle not found on those other feeds must have got off at Eastville or the North Fringe, you get those figures for free.

The fact that they aren't using the ANPR data may be sign that the UK Government police-state-on-motorists isn't as all encompassing as the daily mail and daily telegraph warn us of; that there isn't any coverage of the M32 at all. The four people on the footbridge are therefore implicity sharing a secret with us.

That or there is ANPR scanning of every vehicle entering or leaving the city, and those four people are sitting there to pretend that there isn't -they think they are counting traffic but their numbers are being discarded in preference for the machine-collected statistics. Only someone very paranoid would think that. Which is precisely why we suspect it.

Never park up the inside of an HGV

The militant cyclists are saying "It's not our fault that HGVs kill us -they shouldn't be there", and now they even have the Times on their side

We, and our sponsors, Tesco, say "HGVs are needed in our city to deliver an optimised supply chain, if anyone gets run over by one it is their own fault for being on the inside of the vehicle"

This is why a lot of cycle safety training in London is dedicated to make it clear to people on bikes that they are invisible from a cab of an HGV, so should never go up alongside them, or end up in an ASL in front of one.

We have another group of people who need to be better educated.

Take this road, St Werburgh's Road.

If you were in Montpelier, a car with its rear window replaced with cardboard and big scrapes down the side wouldn't get a second glance -but here we are in St Werburghs. What is up?

Apparently, the owner of this car dangerously parked their car on the inside of an HGV.

The HGV -entirely innocently, as the car was hiding in its blind spot- scraped down the side of the car, caught the rear bumper and pulled it off. It also clipped the rear hatch, pulling that up, bending it, and in the process shattering the window.

Why did this happen? Because the car driver, recklessly, parked their car on the inside of where an HGV would go past some ten hours later. For this reason, it is their own fault.

We say: people like this need to go on a "safe parking near HGVs" course, rather than complain about passing trucks from destroying their vehicles. At the very least, they could use that spare space to the right of the picture, the "pavement".

St Werburgh's Schoolkids

This is the first time anyone has actually asked to be filmed or photographed by one of our reporters. For that reason alone, they get coverage:

Job creation scheme

If they fix things, they know how to break them.

What better way to earn revenue as a Highway Maintenance contractor than parking up on the pavement on a double-yellow lined corner, such as here Ashley Parade in St Werbugh's. At least if the lorry KM10NJN does any damage to the pavement, they'll be in a position to fix it

The school run in St Werburgh's

Over abroad, they are going on about Cargo Bikes that take kids to school.

In Bristol, we have these things called Cars for that in most of the city.

It is only in St Werburgh's that the locals revert to pedestrian version of the cargo bike -the wheelbarrow. The kids seem happy -but where are their helmets?

Breaking news: a new route for cyclists arrives

While dark things were happening in London; a new movement set up to bring cycling to the masses, and troublemakers in Filton were painting bollards to make the cycle paths somewhere safe to cycle, here in Bristol the council spent the weekend trying to bring cycling to Horfield, at least Dovercourt Lane, which now has a route between their houses and B &Q that doesn't require 120-140mm of front suspension.

We had hoped for something that would create pedestrian/bicycle conflict, one where S Gloucs council would have to come down, show them city folk how it was done, and add some white bollards down the middle and gates at the end to calm down the cyclists and make the whole thing generally unpleasant. We call this the "Coronation Road" gambit: a cycle lane impossible to cycle down.

But this looks, well, wide and inviting.

There's a gentle rise, with visibility. People will be able to get from Dovercourt road to Muller Road without even going to any effort, to get the farm pub in St W's without working up a sweat. Compare that with the frustrating effort to drive to the same pub on a friday evening from the same location -all because the same council refuses to open up Boiling Well's Lane as a through route between Muller Road and the city.

We are shocked and disappointed.

Our big fear now is that the council will use this as an excuse for making Dovercourt Road and Wordsworth Road pleasant to cycle along. We shall be monitoring this, and ask for contributions from local drivers to resist this fundamental attack on the Bristol lifestyle.

UWE to the Farm pub, by way of Purdown Camp

Someone posts us this (long and dull) video, with commentary.

They say:

You are always whining about bicycles in your way and how your road tax is wasted on bike lanes, but look at this. At 5pm I can get all the way from UWE to the Farm Pub, St Werburgh's, by bicycle, through fields, without using any tax-funded bike lane, public road or blocking any vans, fifteen minutes door to door. You try doing that in your white van. Apart from the 30s waiting for the lights to change on Muller Road so I can cross it, it's lovely and traffic free. So please, stop complaining so much.

Some of our team members also enjoy the fine beverages served by the farm pub; indeed, one of those white vans may be ours. We also agree, that at 17:00, to drive from UWE Frenchay to the Farm pub will take 30 minutes minimum, by either route:

1. A4174 to M32, round St Pauls Roundabout to Mina Road and then that new 20 mph zone to the pub.
2. Down to Stapleton Road then traffic lights and traffic jams to Mina Road.

Does this want to make us get out or van and start cycling? No. What it does is reinforce our demand for a new road from UWE to Lockleaze, and a re-opening of Boiling Wells Lane from Muller Road to St Werburgh's. This will stop both Lockleaze and Ashley Vale from being forgotten parts of the city.

Secret Mina Road Parking

Another contributor emails bristol.traffic at gmail.com with a photo and text:

Here in St Werburghs, ex Royal Mail van W794KDA is demonstrating the use of a convenient telegraph pole to completely block the pavement, without the need to put all 4 wheels on the pavement.

Such was the driver's selfless dedication to the cause that he ignored the empty parking bays opposite! He did let the side down a bit when seeing the photo being taken, he said he would "only be 5 minutes", but still, it is a start

The AA say zombies are a problem -we say it's salsa dancers

One way we calibrate our postings against the rest of the motoring press-release agencies is to compare what they say with what we've been saying.

Recently, the AA that's been complaining most about zombies, in their high publicity "ipod zombies are the enemy" press event, where they pointed out that zombies "can be lethal for pedestrians, cyclists and car drivers."

Well, yes, there is a special zombie event in the city scheduled for this weekend -2.8 hours later.

But: how often do you see zombies in the way? Where is the defensible data?

All the AA have is the insurance claims from the subset of people who insure their car -and then the subset who insure with the AA- and those people are financially motivated to blame the pedestrians rather than saying they were distracted by the phone call they were making.

Furthermore, what does the AA know about zombies? What kind of zombies? Are we talking 1973 US-shopping-mall class zombie, or a modern 28-days later or Evil Dead 2 class of Zombie? Different, the latter are much harder to kill and far more dangerous to us car drivers. They are harder to run over and they can jump in through your window and try and bite your neck out, at least according to the film's we've seen.

We do like to consider ourselves Britain's premier data-driven traffic news site. We back up our claims with defensible data -photos and videos-, and we like to tie it in to current scientific thinking. Which is where we have to criticise the AA. We have yet to see any Zombies in our streets.

All we have is a truck parked in the showcase bus route on Gloucester Road one morning with an advert for Virgin Trains on it "Don't Go Zombie" -yet it implies that the zombie are in the cars, on the M5, not stuck somewhere near Sheffield on the one daily Virgin XC train to Scotland, or roaming our streets endangering car drivers.

We also have the scientific research behind zombies, behind their decision making. The AA: not a thing, just some comments about insurance claims. This misses out on this seminal presentation on Zombie walking/climbing algorithms, how zombies can choose to attack on trajectories which are hard for us, the humans, to predict, yet which are fairly easy for subhuman intelligences to come up with.

This is the best ever paper on Zombie routing algorithms ever written, yet the AA doesn't even bother to cite it or discuss its implication for vehicle-assisted-driving technologies. This makes us suspect that the AA and its "independent" traffic science group are just making things up to suit their prejudices.

Being a scientifically focused, data-driven group, we are therefore pleased to announce that we do have hard proof that Samba Bands are a bigger problem on our streets, be it St Paul's


or St Werburgh's


That's two videos of Samba bands blocking our streets. None of Zombies. And a citation of the best ever paper on Zombie routing to date.

When will the AA notice this growing problem and issue a press release denouncing Samba bands? Months after us, we expect. And even then, it will not be from in-the-field monitoring of near-miss incidents, but purely by people claiming for damaged caused to their cars by uninsured samba bands.

Gary Hopkins: what do people have against him?

After the evening post denunciation, all was quiet on the Cllr Hopkins front, and down in St Werburgh's someone even stuck a painting of him up on the Mina Road tunnel.

Yet no sooner does Cllr Hopkins appear in the news boldly pushing a 20 mph zone in this part of the city, someone takes the spray can to the art

This is like pulling down statues of out of favour leaders in eastern europe -while they are still in power

Farm Pub Path -one year on

With the Muller Road to Dovercourt Road Bridge now all mixed up in the sale of the Dovercourt Open Space, what does this mean for the Great North Fringe Cycle Route, the showcase of the Cycling City?

We have no idea. What we can do is check out the key destination of the route to date -the Farm Pub- and see how it's use has changed since we visited it last year, before the path was officially open. Has the opening up of more bicycle access increased the number of people who cycle there?

Well, there are a couple of bikes by the dogs at the entrance.

Two more people lining their wheeled UN/EU-conspiracy vehicles to an empty bench

In the rest of the garden, yes, every bench in use appears to be used by cyclists, many of whom must have nipped over for a pint or four of Doom Bar Beer.

Given the amount of tax you pay on beer, it's probably defensible: money saved from fuel can go towards beer, and at the outrageous tax rate there it evens out. And if they go there on the bike path they aren't taking up road-tax funded roads. But has enough extra beer tax revenue been raised by this single pub been adequate to pay for the path?

The other issue is that with the pub full of these cyclists, why would we, the motorists, drive there? Have they gained customers, or only chased away an equivalent number of motorists? And if so, who spends the most per evening? Us, the wealthy citizens forced by anti-motorist laws to only have 6-8 pints before driving home, or them, the tax-dodging cyclists who aren't harassed by drink driving legislation which the new coalition has failed to roll back, despite their promise to end the war on motorists?

Sita, continuing their sponsorship

On the day that the Barclays Bike Hire scheme starts in London, we are pleased to see that Sita Van WX51HBF is busy showing how the outsourced waste collection team of Bristol are proud to support the cycle lanes of the city, here at the end of the St Werburgh's to North Fringe route. If the connection to Dovercourt Road goes through -note how we say if- then this will be the premier route between the two main employment hubs in the city.

The placement of the van at the end of the cycle lane will ensure that everyone travelling between either destination will see the van and appreciate what Sita and their staff do for the city.

We think everyone should visit this Sita van, which is usually parked here between 09:00 and 10:00 every Friday, and congratulate them for their contribution. That is, we should all drive there and thank them for making this part of town more miserable to the cyclists. As for the cyclists, well, they should be grateful for this work crew reminding everyone coming into town on the forthcoming North Fringe route that they are in fact not welcome in the city. Better to get the hint in a controlled, safe, manner than to discover the harsh truth in a near-death incident.

Sita: proud sponsors of cycle city

Every friday, to celebrate their continued sponsorship of the key North Fringe to City Centre route, Sita Van WX51HBF are again proud to park across the bike path where it goes through the St Werburgh's tunnel.

We congratulate this council-funded service for embracing the Cycling City program! And for not parking in a way which interferes with us drivers!

SITA sponsorship continues!

We are pleased to announce another week's sponsorship of the St Werburgh's tunnel by SITA refuse collection, a fact celebrated by the brand-awareness siting of the truck WX51HBF at the end of the lane.

Some people might think oh-no, they have just photoed some refuse collectors who have parked out the way of passing cars for a quick break and perhaps a cigarette or two. We say no!

Look: this is the day before the bees-and-bicycles parade at the St Werburgh's farm fair. In the background of the picture you can see a Bristol Parking Services van, as an official member of the Bristol Parking Services team places no parking cones along the road.

As he does not place one adjacent to this van, or request them to move, the van is clearly here with approval from the council. Therefore, it is an official sponsorship deal -possibly even related to the farm fair!

Roundabout work

There's nothing more frustrating than being held up at a roundabout by one of those idiots who doesn't pull out just because there is a bit of oncoming traffic they are required to give way to. This usually happens when there's a police car or an L-plate driver up ahead.

How do you cope in this situation? S937JHY for JGSF removals shows what to do.

You switch into the left lane, go past the right hand lane then pull out in front of them. You mustn't signal when doing this, as it would give the game away.

Now, some troublemaker will say "isn't that lane OK if you are going straight on?", for which the answer is: only if there is a straight on. This is the mini-roundabout at the junction of York Street -where the van is- Sussex Place to the left, and Arley Hill to the right. There is no straight on. What the van has managed to do is sneak past about five or six slow moving cars and pull out aggressively, so coping with the coward at the front who wasn't being aggressive enough. Fast, effective, not that illegal.

Muller Roadworks

Here are the some roadworks on Muller Road, a key M32 access route. We have proposed widening this road in the past, by using up the under-exploited pavement and bits of greenery on the side -here some allotments.

Is this happening? Has the council seen reason, realised that a wider road would help traffic to get to and from the motorway, and so even boost bus journey times? Not a chance

This is the current end of the Farm Pub Path route. They are narrowing the road, adding some raised bike lane leading up to some light-controlled crossing that will slow down us, the tax paying economic backbone of the city, while the cyclists and pedestrians, the underpeople, pootle over.

Yet look at this pavement. There is perfectly enough room to the right of the pedestrian to fit bicycles. True, there are trees in the way at regular intervals -yet this has not been a barrier to on-pavement bike paths elsewhere in the city, coronation road in particular!

If a bike path with trees along the middle of it kept bicycles out of the way of into-city commuter traffic in South Bristol, there's no reason why it wouldn't work here as well.

The St Werburgh's Van Problem

A photo comes to us of the note left on van windscreen's encouraging them to attend the discussion on the van problem.

One issue we hope was raised there is how the presence of all the vans along the street forces the driving instructors to use the bike lane area of the tunnel as the place to practise pavement parking.

A well-established company like Keith's Driving School in their car KU07BGY wouldn't deliberately teach their students to park in a bike lane without even putting the hazard lights on; that's one of the things you have to remember not to do during the test. Yet by choosing to live in these quiet streets, the van owners are forcing L-plate learners to learn things they aren't ready to do yet.

Control Alt Debate

This just in from a concerned St Werburgher:

Dear Friends

You may be aware of the recent campaign by a few local residents against
trucks, vans and caravans parked in Easton, St Pauls, Montpelier, St Andrews
and St Werburghs.

This activity has extended to vandalism, personal threats and serial complaints
to the police. Local PCSOs at Trinity and Newfoundland have responded by
issuing obstruction tickets to legally parked vehicles, along with threats to
tow and/or destroy them. The people committing vandalism or threatening
behaviour to owners of vehicles have not been challenged.

As a friend of a truck owner and St Werburghs resident, I have been
alarmed by the language of the attacks, which have included stickers
reading 'you're not welcome here'. My friend is often afraid to approach
her vehicle out of fear of attack and harassment.

I believe we need to broaden representation of the issues involved beyond a
vocal minority whose prime objection to the vehicles appears to be aesthetic.
As residents we should be able to park legally in our own neighbourhood without
fear of aggression or harassment.

Festival, surfer and camping vans have been part of the economic and cultural
life of one of the UK's most diverse and progressive areas for decades. If the
complainers and threateners succeed in clearing these vehicles off the streets,
your own way of life might potentially be the next at risk.

There is a meeting being held at the Jack Brimble Hall, on Lynmouth Road, St
Werburghs tomorrow Tuesday 24 November 2009 at 19:00.

Please come.

Keith Hunting


(Real name withheld for reasons of National Security)

Body Armour: not just for cycling

There's been some recent news reports about schools cutting back on outdoor trips due to excessive fears about child safety.

We feel that this fear of danger from animals is misguided. Farms are no more dangerous than the city. For example, the City Farm in St Werburgh's, is a nice safe place to run around, the only hard part is getting over Ashley Down road on foot from Montpelier. The solution is obvious: drive.

Once there, it is no safer than walking round any part of the city. Full body armour will protect the small child from contact with animals.

There is a small risk of having their fingers bitten off while a goat eats some grass.

For this reason we recommend gloves.