Mountain Rescue at Avon Gorge

Thursday Lunchtime in Clifton. A fire engine nonchalantly parked across the Clifton approach to the Suspension Bridge stops anyone from getting through.


A couple of cyclists are experiencing what it is like to cross the bridge without someone important in a Mercedes driving 6" behind them.


 
Why the closure? looks like the fire brigade are rescuing someone off the Avon Gorge, just to the side of Giant's Cave Buttress (you can see the ropes over the lighter limestone)
 
The climber seems be being evacuated from the bottom of the climb.
We hope all is well.

(PS: for anyone thinking of using these photos, this particular are released under the CC 'with attribution' license, meaning the site "Bristol Traffic" and URL http://bristolcars.blogspot.com should be used. To publish without crediting us is a copyright issue)

This is why we use a van

Over in London the militant tax dodgers are asking the hard question "why are lorries and HGVs allowed in our inner cities?" An interesting question, but here's another one " why do tax-dodgers cycle on the roads that the HGVs have to use? There are plenty of back roads. In Bristol you can recognise them because they have hills on them. If the cyclists go down Gloucester Road or the A4 and say "there are lorries there", well, there are alternatives: the hills of Montpelier, Totterdown and Clifton. HGVs do not normally go there.

Except today, when the BBC has some footage of an HGV getting wedged in the hairpin at the top of Clifton Vale.

We've looked at this problem before.

1. On the way up, if you can't see anyone in front of you, go for it. 
2. On the way down, hang back enough to get a view, and go for it if nobody is obviously coming up. But swing wide before even beginning the turn in, or you won't be lined up to take the next corner

You can't do this in an HGV -which is why we deliver our "adult entertainment products" to the Clifton area in the official Bristol Traffic white van. It takes the corners, and if it gets a couple of scrapes on the way -not only does the van not look any worse, but it doesn't leave anything more incriminating than some white paint.

Don't get stressed over paveparking. Have a coffee

Good people of Clifton, especially pram pushing parents going to the Zoo. What better way to relax and unwind from the stresses of walking, than a refreshing coffee from the Clifton Coffee company.

Taking postive advertising and paveparking to a new level.

Bristol's answer to Cycle Lane Parking

At last, a solution to Bristol's traffic problems.

Let's just hope the council has ordered enough.

Gratuitous Abuse of a Bus Driver

One of our regular commentors -and the sole "outed" barge owner in our audience- YZ09AFD- is heard in this video abusing a bus driver down at the centre.

The harsh truth is that bit of the Centre is designed for buses. Not bicycles, or that one-way-at-a-time light at the end would have a bicycle bypass, or at least respond to waiting bicycles, bicycles whose owners then recklessly cycle through red lights.

It's not designed for pedestrians either, otherwise the ped crossing at the other end would actually do something useful.

It is for buses only, it radiates that fact, and the way they treat "DaveW" or anyone else selfish enough to cycle down it is entirely justified. We just wish there were more minicab firms in the city to keep these underpeople in their place.

Zen & the art of using bus & cycle lanes

Bus lanes were in the news this past week with the MD of Addison Lee openly encouraging his drivers to break the law in London and use bus lanes. Addison Lee is also a motorbike courier firm and they donate large amounts of money to the Conservative Party who don't like bus lanes. The M4 bus lane was scrapped, thus creating a lovely new traffic jam into our capital, just in time for the Olympics.

More recently, Mayor Boris opened up the bus lanes in London for motorbikes to use bus lanes and Transport for London has issued powered two wheel users with lots of lovely 'guidelines' and 'rules' for them to follow. Funny how Boris Johnson had his 2008 election campaign partly financed by...guess who?. It looks like his 2012 campaign is being propped up by AL too, and red Ken has taken a pot shot at him.

So why is this relevant to Bristol?. Well, motorbikes have been allowed to use bus lanes here since the mid 90's, often cited by Boris as a shining example of how it can work. In fact, here's a little video of how it does work. And here's how to use the Bristol bus lanes (that is, the ones for very, very thin buses):
Riding motorbikes starts at an early age and it's vital to get some training in before hitting the Bristol streets. Where better to start than an old railway line?. You can get some speed up and improve your skills by weaving in and out of tax dodging cyclists and pedestrians.

View from the Top... deck of the No.49

Fascinating driver habits can be observed from the top deck of buses. Here we can see someone who barged into the bus lane ahead of the bus, casually ignoring two No Left Turn signs in their hurry to get to Morrisons, presumably for the weekly shop. Obviously, shopping is more important than any pedestrian unlucky enough to be crossing the left road at the time.

Dowry square parking

It's going to become even harder to park in Dowry Square if the council have their way and rob us of most of the parking spaces. When that happens, it'll be even more imperative that we squeeze our cars into the tiniest of spaces, as so ably demonstrated by X524EJE.

Not the "moment of madness" defence again

The Former Bristol Evening Post has an article about someone disqualified from driving, caught by the police's ANPR camera in an unmarked car and then going for a sprint round Hanham, nearly hitting an oncoming cyclist and then crashing into bollards.

IT "was a moment of madness"

Some observations

1. There's nothing wrong with nearly hitting an oncoming cyclist, in fact is a common and necessary operation in our cities.
2. Bollards are the cause of many of the accidents in our cities.
3. ANPR camera recognition hooked up to insurance and registration checkers are another example of the surveillance and nanny state at work. That's a bit like those in house baby-intercoms, for anyone  wondering what a "surveillance nanny state is".

Our key observation is this though: that moment of madness defence is getting ever  more boring. 

If you look at its origin, being caught in engaging in consensual sex in a public place -and who doesn't do that from time to time?- what it really means is "it is unfortunate that this particular time  I was caught by a police force who consider what I was doing to be illegal". The probability of being caught with your kit off in public is surprisingly low, based on our experiments, so the M-o-M defence is pretty weak there. We say:  own up and say 'so what?'.

Which is precisely what the driver should have done here. Disqualified, no insurance, unregistered car, driving badly: so what?

As it is the judged has recognised the "moment of madness" defence is wearing thin:

 "This was more than a moment of madness. It was six or seven minutes of extremely bad driving. It's pure luck you didn't injure or kill someone."

Again, six to seven minutes of extremely bad driving where it pure luck you didn't injure or kill someone? That's the school run summarised in a single sentence.

Evening Post bingo: the phrases

The next step in our Evening Post Bingo project is determining which phrases are the most frequent phrases that appear in the sentences.

Here they are, all phrases of three or more words that appear more than once in our set of articles. Abbreviations such as "I'm" have been expanded to I am.

With these results the bingo card generation is trivial -just strip out some duplicates -lots of "I am sure" and then turn the rest into cards for people to play with. Rather than do that ourselves, the readers are instructed to pick five of these, and, when they see the next Evening Post article on cycling, play Bingo!

The first person to win all of their chosen phrases and declare this in the article's comments gets fifteen minutes free parking in the Stokes Croft cycle lane! Outside Ritas!

"on the pavement", 12
"in the city", 7
"the number of", 7
"a lot of", 6
"i am sure", 5
"the pavement and", 5
"number of cyclists", 5
"needs to be", 5
"cyclists in the", 5
"cyclists and pedestrians", 5
"the fact that", 4
"it's illegal to ride", 4
"it is about", 4
"cyclists in the city", 4
"the cycling city", 4
"of the road", 4
"it's illegal to", 4
"of cyclists in", 4
"to be a", 4
"the way of", 4
"through red lights", 4
"in the way", 4
"bristol city council", 4
"it is illegal", 4
"illegal to ride", 4
"the highway code", 3
"has been a", 3
"said it was", 3
"i have been", 3
"with no lights", 3
"all the time", 3
"break the law", 3
"cycling city project", 3
"i have seen", 3
"the rules of the", 3
"the rules of", 3
"first cycling city", 3
"and i am sure", 3
"said: it is", 3
"to cycle on", 3
"part of the", 3
"blind and partially sighted", 3
"even if it", 3
"to have a", 3
"on the pavement and", 3
"the city centre", 3
"between cyclists and", 3
"out of the", 3
"cyclists in bristol", 3
"a good thing", 3
"the number of cyclists", 3
"cyclists should be", 3
"the city council", 3
"on the pavement -", 3
"8 million pounds", 3
"rules of the", 3
"and partially sighted", 3
"cycle on the", 3
"red lights and", 3
"the pavement -", 3
"in the way of", 3
"on the road", 3
"one of these", 3
"blind and partially", 3
"and i am", 3
"to cycle on the", 3

Generated EP article of the day

Fresh from our article factory, comes another one

"It got to the point where we were too afraid to go out. Also, they will congregate in groups to have a natter and in doing so, they take up half or more of the path. THERE has been a lot of banter on these pages between cyclists and drivers. The young, the old, the infirm, the family and pets must all be socially cleansed so that cycling hobbyists can come first. Great emphasis on safety there chaps. Only 15 were caught today, as opposed to the 44 who were spoken to at the same time last week. They stick their fingers up and adopt such a bullying manner with people who challenge them. 8 million pounds was spent on cycling infrastructure, such as 13 miles of off-road cycle tracks including the Festival Way to Ashton Court and a route from the centre to Bristol's northern fringe through St Werburgh's and Lockleaze. I only wish this was the case but it happens on a daily basis. Just as a start, when can we have registration plates on bicycles, so these morons can be identified and prosecuted. "

If there's one fault of the system it is that we need more hand-written articles. We've only got 500 sentences right now, and they tend to get a bit repetitive. Given the Evening Post suffers from the same problem -repetitiveness- we are starting to suspect something even more profound.

1. Has the Daily Mail Group, at some point in the recent past, replaced all their journalists in the Bristol Evening Post with a hundred lines of Python code that can generate new articles based on the entire past archives of the paper?

2. How can we determine if this is or is not the case? The standard "turing test" does not apply, because the BEP article portfolio has always been so limited. What else can we do to determine the secret of how Evening Post articles get generated?

Introducing the Evening Post Article Factory!

When introducing our automated bingo card generator, we mentioned that an ultimate goal was to generate whole articles. This actually turns out easier than expected. Rather than use stochastic Markov Chain modelling to predict the follow-on words from an initially n-tuple of corpus-extracted words, we can just use the sentences extracted from the evening post articles and pick some in a random order, initially making sure not to repeat any. This works so well that we cannot even believe it ourselves:

"There are more motorists than cyclists, it makes perfect sense to just ban them. Dark clothing, no lights and certainly no sense but, incredibly, he shouted at me as if I was at fault for not wearing my night vision goggles. As soon as I moved here I started having issues with cyclists, she told the Evening Post. We all aspire to live in attractive, liveable cities where it is safe to get around by foot and by bike, and so we need to encourage people to take up these modes of transport. There were also a couple of pedestrian crossings where cyclists just didn't stop. How about spending some money on the poor down-trodden motorist. But a bit of tolerance might help matters a little. I don't think there are any particular blackspots in the city for riding on the pavement - the whole city is a blackspot. Motorists don't pay enough attention towards cyclists and they seem to forget that we are very vulnerable. If Bristol is the first cycling city then there needs to be more education out there. "

Even though there's been no attempt at finding some coherence between individual sentences, it turns out not to matter. Look at this one. You could get this as a letter in the evening post without even bothering to do any proof-reading:

"Do all this and we can all be friends. Cyclists going on the pavement is really quite dangerous. ). Cyclists shouldn't expect respect from motorists if they can't even be bothered to wait for the lights to go green before launching themselves forward. I have yet to hear of a cyclist that rides according to the law. It's illegal to ride without a helmet and high visibility clothes. The lad was without lights or reflective clothing, and clearly also a responsible adult to look after him. Not so much hug a hoodie but cuddle a cyclist perhaps. And what would have ensued had he collided with me. Whatever happened to the old 'Be safe, be seen' advertising campaign. "

And again.

'Cyclists should observe the highway code just as motorists do. I have yet to hear of a cyclist that rides according to the law. If a driver hit him off his bike they would no doubt get charged with driving with undue care and attention. Concerned residents made their points to MPs from across the region at a meeting of the Royal National Institute of Blind People (RNIB). Cyclists need to realise that the road is for motorists and cyclists and the pavement is for pedestrians. I realise not all cyclists behave like this, just the vast majority, especially the Lycra ones who think they are as wide as cars. There desperately needs to be something shown on TV perhaps to illustrate these dangers. Bristol cyclists still running red lights. I personally think a Cyclist free week would be far more beneficial. We are working with the police to try and overcome this problem. '

This is transformational. We can use the past works of the Evening Post article and letter writers to actually render themselves obsolete. It takes 17 milliseconds to generate one of these articles on a four year old laptop, which means that five million articles can be pushed out every single day. The evening post web site could be set up to generate one every time a visitor hit "reload" on the anti-cycling page. Then, once the comment generator was hooked up to generate comments from the collected comment articles, we could go on to simulate an entire Evening Post comment argument. Finally, the same code could be hooked up the Ashton Value stadium dataset and the whole town green/football stadium battle could be fought to the death between two competing servers. Like skynet only more provincial.

To close, then, with a fifteen sentence article:

"That is very dangerous because you expect to be able to cross safely without watching out. 20 billion pounds of damage to business is caused by traffic jams and cyclists are the main cause. The old Bristol to Bath railway track, Leigh Woods, the Avon Walkway and Ashton Court estate have all been badly scarred by cycling louts as they trash pedestrian paths making them fit only for cyclists, or gouge cycle tracks through the woodland for their hobby. Sometimes this has been where small children are present or when people are walking their dogs. Bodywork repair costs a lot these days. Every single one I see cuts through red lights like a knife through butter. They give me the impression that it is only them on the track and seem blissfully unaware of the fact that there are other 'freelance' cyclists and pedestrians who have just as much right as they have. Mr Drummond said the police seemed to turn a blind eye to cyclists on the pavements, too. It's illegal to ride without a helmet and high visibility clothes. Then, as I reached my destination another cyclist ignored the rules of the roundabout and pulled out straight in front of me. If something isn't done soon, I am afraid there is going to be a terrible, terrible accident. I do think that I will get hit at some point, especially if the number of cyclists in the city keeps increasing. We won't be coming again. I have nothing against cyclists and if I could see properly I would be one, but I would like to think I would be a considerate cyclist. "

Bristol will never be the same again

Evening Post bingo: the keywords

Last week we introduced Evening Post Bingo.

In a comment, someone called Downfader announced that they had the same idea -presumably from our initial proposal the week before- and had produced some cards.

Well, we appreciate the artwork, but note that Downfader's effort shows both selection bias in the form of the writer, and doesn't scale to working with other newspapers or article types.

Being a data-centric company, along with strategic partners like Google and Facebook, we have designed a system that will scale. The process is straightforward -use the articles on the evening post web site which we have already covered as the source of our content -and have machines to the heavy lifting for us.This will not only aid other regions, but apply just as well to the Ashton Gate and Bristol Mayor discussions.

While the sentence/phrase extraction process is underway, here is the initial output -the entire list of words in the Evening Post cycling article corpus, sorted by frequency. Everything is in lower case, so the 124 instances of "i" really translate to "I", and presumably indicate that an opinion is about to appear.

Cleanup is incomplete, apostrophes aren't being stripped of the ends of works, singular and plurals aren't being merged. Keeping the apostrophes in provides extra information, as it usually implies some kind of wittiness from the writer, like 'sui-cyclists' and 'supervision'. This actually makes us feel sorry for these letter writers, as their humour is clearly limited. Once our automated-evening-post-article-generator is completed they can entertain their friends with their humour, rather than inflict it on the rest of us.

For the reader's enjoyment then, the initial output of the Bristol Traffic mine-the-evening post Bingo card and Letter Generating system:-

the, 420
to, 267
and, 228
a, 222
of, 166
cyclists, 135
in, 127
i, 124
on, 107
is, 89
for, 78
they, 77
that, 75
it, 74
as, 71
are, 68
have, 64
cycling, 61
be, 60
was, 53
with, 53
we, 51
not, 50
who, 49
bristol, 49
but, 48
this, 47
city, 46
by, 46
at, 42
all, 42
road, 40
or, 38
lights, 36
there, 35
people, 34
pedestrians, 34
he, 34
has, 32
from, 32
their, 31
do, 29
cycle, 29
were, 29
would, 28
cyclist, 28
been, 27
one, 27
more, 27
if, 26
out, 26
should, 26
them, 25
about, 25
-, 24
so, 24
you, 24
me, 23
just, 23
pavement, 23
way, 22
my, 20
said, 20
an, 20
some, 19
time, 19
car, 18
council, 18
motorists, 18
police, 18
said:, 18
get, 18
these, 18
no, 17
when, 17
can, 17
ride, 17
will, 17
had, 16
bike, 15
think, 15
pounds, 15
very, 15
see, 15
illegal, 15
could, 15
how, 14
law, 14
say, 14
where, 14
many, 14
number, 14
also, 14
need, 14
dangerous, 14
like, 14
every, 13
pavements, 13
down, 13
than, 13
only, 13
traffic, 13
through, 13
up, 13
red, 13
other, 13
new, 12
same, 12
week, 12
last, 12
our, 12
it's, 12
mr, 11
project, 11
make, 11
right, 11
going, 11
being, 11
his, 11
use, 11
which, 11
even, 10
then, 10
good, 10
seen, 10
cars, 10
any, 10
pay, 10
without, 10
am, 10
us, 10
another, 9
years, 9
million, 9
take, 9
sure, 9
between, 9
around, 9
children, 9
what, 9
don't, 9
safety, 9
money, 9
dark, 9
having, 9
go, 9
tax, 9
must, 8
over, 8
drummond, 8
bikes, 8
still, 8
blind, 8
come, 8
using, 8
feel, 8
him, 8
towards, 8
hit, 8
centre, 8
group, 8
made, 8
i'm, 7
old, 7
clothing, 7
routes, 7
first, 7
laws, 7
walking, 7
before, 7
helmet, 7
your, 7
her, 7
lot, 7
everyone, 7
pedestrian, 7
spent, 7
run, 7
safer, 7
something, 7
she, 7
off, 7
street, 6
campaign, 6
travel, 6
safe, 6
too, 6
target, 6
against, 6
yet, 6
post, 6
says, 6
change, 6
may, 6
year, 6
enough, 6
across, 6
those, 6
drivers, 6
past, 6
needs, 6
that's, 6
done, 6
fine, 6
bristol's, 6
often, 6
users, 6
ago, 6
young, 6
few, 6
high, 6
light, 6
doing, 6
fact, 6
riding, 6
respect, 6
because, 6
transport, 6
under, 5
give, 5
want, 5
after, 5
break, 5
each, 5
gloucester, 5
rogers, 5
despite, 5
much, 5
couple, 5
night, 5
along, 5
making, 5
st, 5
half, 5
now, 5
killed, 5
thing, 5
11, 5
track, 5
nearly, 5
lanes, 5
city's, 5
public, 5
family, 5
eye, 5
two, 5
coming, 5
signs, 5
its, 5
evening, 5
since, 5
issue, 5
part, 5
paths, 5
8, 5
please, 5
rules, 5
used, 5
back, 5
into, 5
day, 5
why, 5
problem, 5
know, 5
does, 5
stay, 5
own, 5
three, 5
partially, 5
whether, 5
education, 5
accidents, 5
told, 4
path, 4
work, 4
keep, 4
turn, 4
fit, 4
little, 4
manner, 4
stop, 4
considerate, 4
bad, 4
protect, 4
near, 4
left, 4
possible, 4
cooper, 4
sighted, 4
such, 4
maybe, 4
realise, 4
crossings, 4
anyone, 4
black, 4
morning, 4
outside, 4
period, 4
dangers, 4
myself, 4
driver, 4
seems, 4
start, 4
trying, 4
again, 4
small, 4
pass, 4
attitudes, 4
taken, 4
22, 4
might, 4
someone, 4
insurance, 4
really, 4
officers, 4
chairman, 4
idiots, 4
both, 4
point, 4
else, 4
themselves, 4
once, 4
others, 4
danger, 4
majority, 4
move, 4
junction, 4
south, 4
gear, 4
let's, 4
wear, 4
well, 4
add, 4
avoid, 4
pressure, 4
getting, 4
roads, 4
authority, 4
dressed, 4
friends, 4
understand, 4
child, 3
four, 3
consider, 3
school, 3
clothes, 3
above, 3
increasing, 3
ever, 3
met, 3
i'd, 3
until, 3
damage, 3
badly, 3
wrong, 3
regularly, 3
driving, 3
encourage, 3
got, 3
free, 3
dogs, 3
likely, 3
mind, 3
seem, 3
responsible, 3
regular, 3
dog, 3
wearing, 3
result, 3
seven, 3
months, 3
support, 3
head, 3
daily, 3
did, 3
groups, 3
live, 3
believes, 3
claim, 3
pulled, 3
seriously, 3
quite, 3
care, 3
training, 3
massive, 3
saving, 3
vote, 3
given, 3
15, 3
especially, 3
drive, 3
cannot, 3
wheels, 3
can't, 3
situation, 3
middle, 3
railway, 3
accountable, 3
foot, 3
legal, 3
rush, 3
wife, 3
rogue, 3
mps, 3
large, 3
streets, 3
further, 3
experience, 3
action, 3
sustrans, 3
near-misses, 3
sense, 3
breaking, 3
compulsory, 3
help, 3
attitude, 3
encouraging, 3
15am, 3
stopped, 3
expect, 3
funding, 3
7, 3
highway, 3
louts, 3
station, 3
behind, 3
double, 3
vulnerable, 3
most, 3
scooter, 3
rest, 3
sustainable, 3
set, 3
meeting, 3
straight, 3
user, 3
spend, 3
love, 3
projects, 3
continue, 3
behave, 3
long, 3
crackdown, 3
planet, 3
called, 3
bishopston, 3
lane, 3
gloucestershire, 3
menace, 3
code, 3
arrogance, 3
jump, 3
let, 3
great, 3
next, 3
doubling, 3
started, 3
visibility, 3
train, 3
plate, 3
counted, 3
including, 3
hands, 3
front, 3
cause, 3
priority, 3
clearly, 3
able, 3
areas, 3
progress, 3
avon, 3
taking, 3
walk, 3
perhaps, 3
injured, 3
effect, 3
government, 3
proper, 3
home, 3
obey, 3
count, 3
wish, 3
limited, 2
aim, 2
never, 2
ignoring, 2
hospital, 2
call, 2
aware, 2
adult, 2
hold, 2
room, 2
err, 2
route, 2
end, 2
jumping, 2
appreciate, 2
green, 2
keeps, 2
better, 2
tourist, 2
represents, 2
side, 2
schemes, 2
carry, 2
turning, 2
enlightened, 2
days, 2
caught, 2
unlit, 2
top, 2
took, 2
outlaw, 2
matter, 2
mine, 2
causing, 2
responsibility, 2
roundabout, 2
14, 2
ban, 2
fail, 2
best, 2
tolerance, 2
however, 2
here, 2
accident, 2
reported, 2
planned, 2
high-visibility, 2
rather, 2
catch, 2
rnib, 2
motorist, 2
launched, 2
suggest, 2
several, 2
published, 2
meads, 2
failing, 2
yes, 2
royal, 2
possibly, 2
officer, 2
pushbike, 2
footway, 2
efforts, 2
bath, 2
hear, 2
lorry, 2
evidence, 2
felt, 2
hurt, 2
assume, 2
certainly, 2
environment, 2
bicycles, 2
cool, 2
team, 2
cost, 2
stands, 2
shared, 2
address, 2
wait, 2
boy, 2
funded, 2
example, 2
law-abiding, 2
country's, 2
visit, 2
today, 2
riders, 2
following, 2
didn't, 2
winter, 2
guarantee, 2
spot, 2
designed, 2
man, 2
werburgh's, 2
remember, 2
course, 2
councillor, 2
main, 2
lycra, 2
tried, 2
living, 2
earlier, 2
remainder, 2
cycles, 2
place, 2
spoken, 2
message, 2
millions, 2
redland, 2
10, 2
sat, 2
paid, 2
later, 2
abraham, 2
spaces, 2
aggressive, 2
regarding, 2
reading, 2
miles, 2
vision, 2
seat, 2
encouraged, 2
blame, 2
cities, 2
among, 2
zetland, 2
3000, 2
couldn't, 2
sensible, 2
collided, 2
reflective, 2
observe, 2
case, 2
everyday, 2
running, 2
charged, 2
actions, 2
death, 2
thinking, 2
4, 2
read, 2
either, 2
always, 2
central, 2
act, 2
area, 2
sides, 2
condone, 2
certain, 2
important, 2
starting, 2
forget, 2
caused, 2
off-road, 2
acting, 2
sitting, 2
20mph, 2
hartas, 2
behaviour, 2
tracks, 2
advertising, 2
amenities, 2
knows, 2
excuse, 2
stick, 2
particular, 2
hour, 2
patrols, 2
749, 2
huge, 2
court, 2
plans, 2
rude, 2
soon, 2
disabled, 2
24, 2
style, 2
20, 2
travelling, 2
return, 2
propose, 2
association, 2
occasions, 2
level, 2
lycra-clad, 2
england, 2
hard, 2
idea, 2
missed, 2
terrible, 2
year's, 2
least, 2
costs, 2
park, 2
sometimes, 2
particularly, 2
impact, 2
meanwhile, 2
during, 2
attention, 2
incident, 2
invisible, 2
whole, 2
throughout, 2
weaving, 2
due, 2
lives, 2
look, 2
while, 2
obviously, 2
readers, 2
tell, 2
march, 2
big, 2
bid, 2
bit, 2
essential, 2
one-way, 2
per, 2
temple, 2
anything, 2
nothing, 2
we're, 2
forward, 2
boys, 2
properly, 2
unsafe, 2
reflectors, 2
ashton, 2
2008, 2
issues, 2
concerned, 2
friendly, 2
sent, 2
try, 2
race, 2
giving, 2
access, 2
growing, 2
consideration, 2
involved, 2
opinion, 2
residents, 2
apply, 2
doubt, 2
charity, 2
junctions, 2
democracy, 2
brian, 2
abuse, 2
whilst, 2
flout, 2
university, 2
identified, 2
crossing, 2
33000, 2
improvements, 2
nobody, 2
afraid, 2
funds, 2
eight, 2
face, 2
parked, 2
longer, 2
won't, 2
local, 2
meant, 2
jon, 2
etc, 2
figures, 2
safely, 2
wall, 2
cent, 2
moved, 2
policy, 2
frustrating, 2
almost, 2
cross, 2
proficiency, 2
lobby, 2
sets, 2
five, 2
walkway, 2
martin, 2
operation, 2
leader, 2
although, 2
letters, 2
registration, 2
biggest, 2
gain, 2
squeeze, 2
incredibly, 2
rule, 2
raining, 1
sleek, 1
obstruction, 1
woods, 1
hate, 1
whatsoever, 1
teaching, 1
slowest, 1
instincts, 1
risk, 1
regional, 1
car-free, 1
vast, 1
tickets, 1
amenities/green, 1
wednesday, 1
enforce, 1
subsidising, 1
convenience, 1
'solution', 1
flashy, 1
heading, 1
enjoy, 1
force, 1
preached, 1
phones, 1
horn, 1
second, 1
implemented, 1
machines, 1
pace, 1
two-wheeler, 1
spokesman, 1
bonuses, 1
absolute, 1
better-spent, 1
drew, 1
protection, 1
kids, 1
daughter, 1
jams, 1
oxford, 1
study, 1
credit, 1
suitable, 1
criticism, 1
julie, 1
feelings, 1
total, 1
criminals, 1
spoke, 1
army, 1
well-trained, 1
crossbar, 1
warm, 1
menaced, 1
hurl, 1
90, 1
ward, 1
94, 1
join, 1
cuddle, 1
ms, 1
pollute, 1
whizzed, 1
horfield, 1
answer, 1
gamble, 1
rise, 1
description, 1
lad, 1
lay, 1
parallel, 1
third, 1
maintain, 1
frequent, 1
uninsured, 1
welcomed, 1
whizzing, 1
banged, 1
natter, 1
bombing, 1
somewhere, 1
highlights, 1
redfield, 1
writing, 1
fig, 1
easier, 1
overcome, 1
educating, 1
schools, 1
downright, 1
structural, 1
went, 1
luck, 1
councils, 1
husband, 1
bodywork, 1
borne, 1
two-hour, 1
forth, 1
splashed, 1
yesterday, 1
campaigns, 1
ancient, 1
hoodie, 1
people's, 1
wanted, 1
lothian, 1
bedminster, 1
aspire, 1
baltic, 1
onto, 1
speeds, 1
rant, 1
illustrate, 1
needed, 1
tom, 1
john, 1
bitter, 1
western, 1
helen, 1
showed, 1
classes, 1
silly, 1
ran, 1
modern, 1
anybody, 1
talking, 1
jacobs, 1
seek, 1
relatively, 1
cyclists:, 1
hub, 1
racers, 1
derek, 1
responsibly, 1
rides, 1
rider, 1
'fact', 1
blue, 1
though, 1
wells, 1
victoria, 1
letter, 1
exercises, 1
7am, 1
appalled, 1
definitely, 1
laid, 1
lancashire, 1
notion, 1
fitted, 1
fingers, 1
undue, 1
radio, 1
discourteous, 1
henleaze, 1
abreast, 1
busy, 1
appreciated, 1
rich, 1
adequate, 1
wide, 1
illegality, 1
runs, 1
idiotic, 1
children's, 1
three-year, 1
hasten, 1
decides, 1
swept, 1
1960s, 1
horrendous, 1
pete, 1
away, 1
sail, 1
there's, 1
pets, 1
southmead, 1
terms, 1
darnton, 1
recent, 1
news, 1
improve, 1
hours, 1
fault, 1
faces, 1
presumably, 1
council's, 1
irresponsible, 1
initiative, 1
maudlin, 1
infirm, 1
speak, 1
basis, 1
roper, 1
referendum, 1
quickly, 1
confident, 1
parents, 1
lovely, 1
tangible, 1
169, 1
personally, 1
two-wheeled, 1
publicly, 1
suitably, 1
employ, 1
voice, 1
overtaking, 1
obeying, 1
plates, 1
wheel, 1
kit, 1
butter, 1
hopping, 1
academic, 1
claims, 1
800, 1
spurred, 1
assigned, 1
goggles, 1
incentive, 1
zero-tolerance, 1
lockleaze, 1
ham, 1
emphasis, 1
board, 1
gave, 1
bands, 1
posed, 1
wanting, 1
unique, 1
advanced, 1
desire, 1
58, 1
54, 1
performing, 1
50, 1
steps, 1
beneficial, 1
elderly, 1
25000, 1
fog, 1
christmas, 1
co-existing, 1
corn, 1
predicting, 1
bolt, 1
plus, 1
afternoon, 1
lemmings, 1
22m, 1
statements, 1
presence, 1
delighted, 1
legislation, 1
transform, 1
launching, 1
bert, 1
form, 1
offer, 1
becoming, 1
ford, 1
failure, 1
true, 1
matt-black, 1
branded, 1
else's, 1
maximum, 1
gould, 1
whisker, 1
passenger, 1
adopt, 1
proven, 1
promised, 1
blatantly, 1
looked, 1
role, 1
holding, 1
test, 1
polite, 1
trailers, 1
maimed, 1
journey, 1
authorities, 1
stoke, 1
congested, 1
billion, 1
faster, 1
tested, 1
ensued, 1
well-designed, 1
watered-down, 1
wraiths, 1
resources, 1
roy, 1
avalanche, 1
freelance, 1
father, 1
promoting, 1
advantage, 1
down-trodden, 1
advised, 1
trouble, 1
blast, 1
policeman, 1
turns, 1
posts, 1
leave, 1
quick, 1
guy, 1
unaware, 1
prevent, 1
regret, 1
irritates, 1
schiffer, 1
favour, 1
debate, 1
falling, 1
wheelies, 1
bandwagon, 1
henry, 1
alone, 1
healthy, 1
usually, 1
regardless, 1
griffiths, 1
extra, 1
everybody, 1
russell, 1
working, 1
sake, 1
wicker, 1
opposed, 1
sharing, 1
afford, 1
mouthing, 1
everywhere, 1
sachs', 1
effort, 1
unconditional, 1
crazy, 1
figure, 1
december, 1
heard, 1
dropped, 1
counting, 1
watching, 1
1, 1
immune, 1
ensure, 1
sworn, 1
edinburgh, 1
144, 1
paramount, 1
wonderful, 1
disgusted, 1
improving, 1
revealed, 1
cascade, 1
switch, 1
reputations, 1
lagoon, 1
basket, 1
talk, 1
typical, 1
bastow, 1
repair, 1
shaky, 1
cuts, 1
bikeability, 1
maim, 1
abusive, 1
happened, 1
correspondence, 1
matched, 1
leds, 1
shouted, 1
name, 1
kerb, 1
prompted, 1
whiteladies, 1
catching, 1
zebra, 1
girl, 1
shown, 1
space, 1
increase, 1
shouldn't, 1
advice, 1
shows, 1
inevitably, 1
plea, 1
scarred, 1
waited, 1
fast, 1
impossible, 1
exaggerations, 1
outing, 1
tragic, 1
terrifying, 1
williams, 1
hug, 1
mostly, 1
on;, 1
huw, 1
population, 1
13, 1
unfortunately, 1
17, 1
spokeswoman, 1
taxpayers', 1
acknowledged, 1
pastime, 1
saw, 1
hooded, 1
sanctimonious, 1
tax-payer, 1
equipment, 1
intends, 1
potential, 1
davies, 1
wonder, 1
jungle, 1
handing, 1
trace, 1
opposite, 1
clearer, 1
importantly, 1
complaints, 1
pages, 1
surprising, 1
mrs, 1
show, 1
high-profile, 1
corner, 1
slow, 1
leigh, 1
saints, 1
seen', 1
equipped, 1
awareness, 1
designated, 1
wardens, 1
anti-car, 1
illingworth, 1
anti-cyclist, 1
celebrate, 1
prime, 1
predicted, 1
ignored, 1
elected, 1
apologies, 1
ruined, 1
no-one, 1
clips, 1
unabated, 1
sites, 1
infrastructure, 1
jobs, 1
antics, 1
queueing, 1
26, 1
killing, 1
farcical, 1
region, 1
according, 1
personal, 1
expression, 1
pot, 1
68, 1
considering, 1
stretch, 1
combined, 1
borders, 1
wants, 1
direction, 1
educated, 1
corduroys, 1
former, 1
invited, 1
eventually, 1
quiet, 1
sudden, 1
worry, 1
cafe, 1
harsh, 1
woodland, 1
angered, 1
struggling, 1
visually, 1
drives, 1
director, 1
changing, 1
warmley, 1
modes, 1
remain, 1
amazed, 1
cheltenham, 1
morons, 1
generally, 1
kill, 1
touch, 1
speed, 1
nick, 1
plenty, 1
ross, 1
real, 1
desperately, 1
offence, 1
mot, 1
early, 1
listening, 1
lady, 1
photographs, 1
clad, 1
facing, 1
benefit, 1
fiver, 1
competition, 1
provided, 1
mood, 1
confirm, 1
retinitis, 1
conservative, 1
cleansed, 1
knife, 1
business, 1
seconds, 1
broken, 1
strangled, 1
throw, 1
fringe, 1
obeys, 1
pockets, 1
decimated, 1
on-the-spot, 1
supervising, 1
hey, 1
low, 1
somerset, 1
mornings, 1
peaceful, 1
two-thirds, 1
happening, 1
they're, 1
october, 1
wasn't, 1
criticised, 1
agree, 1
strongly, 1
toilet, 1
fist, 1
'sui-cyclists', 1
shoulders, 1
bishop, 1
fill, 1
incorrect, 1
twerp, 1
hobbyists, 1
trash, 1
poor, 1
shelter, 1
annes, 1
included, 1
pointing, 1
lack, 1
swerving, 1
month, 1
commute, 1
carpet, 1
tv, 1
enjoying, 1
infirmary, 1
paying, 1
scout, 1
worse, 1
worst, 1
difference, 1
condition, 1
steve, 1
colossal, 1
zero, 1
witnessed, 1
section, 1
racing, 1
contrast, 1
full, 1
estate, 1
tragedy, 1
inspired, 1
healthier, 1
pub's, 1
pick, 1
sticking, 1
buses, 1
caravan, 1
injure, 1
destination, 1
6, 1
megaphone, 1
door, 1
staggering, 1
owners, 1
broke, 1
doom, 1
respected, 1
phillip, 1
harbourside, 1
escorted, 1
nine, 1
dem, 1
history, 1
challenging, 1
states, 1
collision, 1
minimum, 1
numbers, 1
narrowly, 1
needy, 1
speeding, 1
paintwork, 1
concentrating, 1
short, 1
co-exist, 1
privileges, 1
handlebars, 1
suffer, 1
arrogant, 1
fined, 1
late, 1
attended, 1
stephen, 1
haven't, 1
socially, 1
prejudices, 1
sweeping, 1
complain, 1
easily, 1
perkin, 1
found, 1
isn't, 1
status, 1
undertake, 1
inspections, 1
disquiet, 1
rent-a-bike, 1
misses, 1
belief, 1
holroyd, 1
enforcing, 1
story, 1
geared, 1
base, 1
members, 1
imagine, 1
bullying, 1
dishwasher, 1
conducted, 1
rogues, 1
major, 1
upper, 1
instances, 1
armitage, 1
mist, 1
£30, 1
militant, 1
pensioner, 1
together, 1
threatening, 1
obligatory, 1
paint, 1
passed, 1
scheme, 1
relationship, 1
mentality, 1
immediate, 1
ashley, 1
believe, 1
secretarial, 1
vocal, 1
stall, 1
contrary, 1
gloucestershire's, 1
alongside, 1
fairburn, 1
aged, 1
lib, 1
self, 1
scotland, 1
camouflage, 1
liz, 1
experienced, 1
car-hating, 1
electric, 1
warnings, 1
promenade, 1
significant, 1
services, 1
extremely, 1
mobile, 1
clear, 1
part-time, 1
generalising, 1
tpr, 1
carefully, 1
hereditary, 1
find, 1
richmond, 1
'freelance', 1
northern, 1
nervous, 1
heavily, 1
penalty, 1
failed, 1
wayne, 1
dysfunctional, 1
publicity, 1
banned, 1
enemy, 1
weaved, 1
activity, 1
bars, 1
culture, 1
individual, 1
close, 1
visiting, 1
pictures, 1
various, 1
probably, 1
conditions, 1
recently, 1
creating, 1
missing, 1
half-hour, 1
8am, 1
context, 1
blissfully, 1
community, 1
hadn't, 1
church, 1
patiently, 1
finally, 1
pc, 1
reduction, 1
fights, 1
pedals, 1
what's, 1
whatever, 1
towns, 1
budget, 1
institute, 1
fun, 1
use', 1
wherever, 1
encountered, 1
vanish, 1
grant, 1
widely, 1
development, 1
mountain, 1
banter, 1
youngsters, 1
holidays, 1
moving, 1
southport, 1
older, 1
alleging, 1
person, 1
drink-drive, 1
gripe, 1
stunt, 1
alternative, 1
injuries, 1
tables, 1
shouting, 1
oldland, 1
deliberately, 1
build, 1
'shared, 1
matters, 1
knock, 1
imposed, 1
d, 1
obliged, 1
magnificent, 1
litter, 1
mighty, 1
examples, 1
sight, 1
trendy, 1
delivered, 1
decision, 1
prosecuted, 1
anna, 1
blackspots, 1
lose, 1
confidence, 1
relating, 1
cigarette, 1
classics, 1
seeing, 1
well-organised, 1
contributor, 1
alison, 1
gouge, 1
habitat, 1
spending, 1
syllabus, 1
himself, 1
invite, 1
uk's, 1
registered, 1
hail, 1
upright, 1
liveable, 1
2mph, 1
uk, 1
similar, 1
adults, 1
single, 1
warning, 1
amounts, 1
fears, 1
excuses, 1
points, 1
recognition, 1
organise, 1
nice, 1
problems, 1
visits, 1
helping, 1
garbed, 1
age, 1
'humble', 1
stephen's, 1
far, 1
results, 1
highways, 1
kate, 1
seemed, 1
chaps, 1
respectful, 1
black-riders, 1
shock, 1
michael, 1
they've, 1
fewer, 1
challenge, 1
slogan:, 1
odd, 1
marketed, 1
man's, 1
body, 1
chose, 1
beasts, 1
pushing, 1
commercial, 1
33, 1
gent, 1
30, 1
leaving, 1
makes, 1
named, 1
disobey, 1
dedicated, 1
62-year-old, 1
dumbest, 1
boasts, 1
standing, 1
vehicle, 1
jonathan, 1
sort, 1
formally, 1
occurred, 1
account, 1
f, 1
insists, 1
arches, 1
anywhere, 1
control, 1
wharf, 1
patrol, 1
tar, 1
rode, 1
policing, 1
30cm, 1
sit, 1
six, 1
animal, 1
instead, 1
tension, 1
administrator, 1
cycle-free, 1
by-law, 1
bothered, 1
they/we, 1
1885, 1
9am, 1
crazed, 1
'be, 1
mentioned, 1
wife's, 1
perfect, 1
goading, 1
hobby, 1
2011, 1
dad, 1
impaired, 1
stunts, 1
masters, 1
undertaking, 1
lawful, 1
staying, 1
matt, 1
playground, 1
achievements, 1
ipod, 1
surely, 1
collection, 1
steering, 1
'supervision', 1
2009/10, 1
times, 1
adrian, 1
mad, 1
scene, 1
reached, 1
quality, 1
doesn't, 1
management, 1
sadly, 1
festival, 1
enforcement, 1
regards, 1
colleagues, 1
holland, 1
bother, 1
car-park, 1
providing, 1
coronation, 1
beggared, 1
false, 1
westbury, 1
parks, 1
co-ordinator, 1
unless, 1
so-called, 1
discourage, 1
upset, 1
astonishing, 1
occasion, 1
normally, 1
goals, 1
impression, 1
supported, 1
anyway, 1
planning, 1
well-being, 1
fear, 1
pleased, 1
decade, 1
promote, 1
pigmentosa, 1
hope, 1
handle, 1
means, 1
lucky, 1
scott:, 1
99%, 1
ones, 1
legitimate, 1
magistrate, 1
approach, 1
watershed, 1
affluent, 1
taxed, 1
fixed, 1
national, 1
lazy, 1
operated, 1
kingswood, 1
closer, 1
written, 1
email, 1
disgruntled, 1
deliver, 1
david, 1
45am, 1
admit, 1
hi-viz, 1
comment, 1
co, 1
tuesday, 1
commend, 1
allocated, 1
waste, 1
mike, 1
arises, 1
controlled, 1
finishes, 1
finished, 1
improved, 1
general, 1
present, 1
unlike, 1
dodge, 1
harder, 1
nobody's, 1
workplaces, 1
helped, 1
began, 1
pauls, 1
member, 1
party, 1
gets, 1
difficult, 1
eccentric, 1
disagree, 1
variety, 1
thought, 1
less, 1
increasingly, 1
executive, 1
rooms, 1
protecting, 1
blackspot, 1
ill-educated, 1
smith, 1
arrest, 1
vent/put, 1
attractive, 1
wet, 1
match, 1
tests, 1
increased, 1
supervise, 1
whopping, 1
necessary, 1
taxpayers, 1
become, 1
page, 1
motorcyclists, 1
grids, 1
scared, 1
library, 1
redress, 1
peter, 1
happens, 1
pedestrianised, 1
reaching, 1
carried, 1
introduces, 1
beige, 1
outset, 1
congregate, 1
brush, 1
van, 1
noticed, 1
invisibility, 1
north, 1
i've, 1
bus, 1
brand, 1
lowered, 1
plague, 1
signed, 1
volvo, 1
below, 1
this;, 1
bpa2011@live, 1
minutes, 1
urging, 1
goodness, 1
commentators, 1
eric, 1
compared, 1
49, 1
44, 1
monday, 1
frustrate, 1
gap, 1
baker, 1
britain's, 1

Street Art in Stokes Croft

Here at Bristol Traffic we know nothing about creativity. But we're not slobs. We like a bit of art.

And... we have to drive our White Van about quite a lot when we need to buy a new screw, or pick up a cold pasty. Which means we often find ourselves driving through Stokes Croft heading for the Tesco Express there (with it's convenient cycle lane to park in) at lunchtime before we head to the pub.

Known as Bristol's Cultural Quarter Stokes Croft is home to much of Bristol's artistic and creative community. The area is awash with pop-up shops, cafes, squats, street drinkers and shouters, and general all-round goodness (well, if Tescos is shut, we can always use Slix or Ritas). And, it comes alive with music at night, which makes it pretty much a 24 hour space.

The southern approach to Stokes Croft looks like this:

We buy our paint at the trade counter here, so we know there are many successful and creative artists working out of sight of the general public in places like the Jamaica Street Studios, Hamilton House and The Motorcycle Showroom. Unknown, but also hidden from view, are the many thriving digital media businesses which are also in the area. Their effects are more visible on a web-page or phone app. If your broadband is slow, blame them!

More apparent, when visiting Stokes Croft, are the many Street Artists that have managed to display their various works on buildings and walls around the area. Some are famous, some are not.

What we'd never realised, though, was just who the most prolific Street Artist / Tagger in Bristol is.

It's you!

Your tax pays for Bristol City Council to do some stunning artwork in the streets.

It's April 1st today, but this is not a joke.

Fuel panic? Not us.

Many people are queueing up to buy petrol and diesel in the fear that it will run out.

We are not joining in because we know that everyone filling up their car means their fuel tanks are more likely to be filled up. This will make it easier and cheaper to fill our van up by cutting someone else's fuel line and stealing it. Some car manufacturers make it extra easy to do by running the plastic tubing close to the wheel arches -all you need is stanley knife and a "jerry can"", which is apparently a posh word for plastic petrol bottle. So thank you to Ford and Vauxhaull for your contributions there.

The best bit: everyone else is out and about filling up their own "jerry-cans" (we have to quote it, it's hard to take serious, like calling a radio a "wireless" or cinema "the moving pictures"). What does that mean? It means walking round the city at 1 am carrying a petrol can and stanley knife doesn't look out of place any more.

This is good, as it saves having to dive head first in a pile of horse dung to look like a local, which is what you have to do in Wiltshire.

Let's go MAD in Manchester!

Introducing in the links section, a great blog from Manchester:

MAD: Manchester's Advanced Drivers

It has some great examples of en masse paveparking and pavedriving that put Bristol to shame. Come on Bristol drivers, try harder!.

Introducing : Evening Post Bingo!

We are excited to announce -in collaboration with our partners the Bristol Evening Post, a new form of entertainment: Evening Post Bingo!

The basic concept is simple, here is the outline

1. Every few days the Evening Post will print a fictional letter or article pretending to be an ill-informed rant against bicycles. They are clearly spoofs, but some people, motorists and tax-dodgers alike, fall for them and try to argue the details with each other in the comments.
2. This week, for example, we have made one up called "they should pay road tax!". 
3. Evening Post Bingo! players look in the article for the key phrases on their bingo sheets, then the comments
4. If all of them are found -either in the article or comments, enter your own comment, "Bingo!", and the list of phrases you were looking for.
5. Do not attempt to engage in any form of debate in the comments itself, as this is like trying to explain Quantitive Easing to a chimpanzee -or what a Pasty is to a member of the cabinet.
6. In our weekly round-up of the evening post articles, we will credit the first Bingo winner of every article.

Bingo card generation will be fully automated; the code will be open sourced on Github shortly.Participants will be able to generate their own bingo cards at home, and other regions will be able to provide their own keyword lists that don't refer to Gloucester, Stapleton, or Coronation Roads

For now, here are some example cards, each of which can be used by anyone. These have all been machine generated, and are free from any human bias.

mandatory insurance
lycra-lout
abusive
unlit
criminals

against the law
selfish
council conspiracy
pavement cyclist
injure pedestrians

pavement
cause congestion
selfish
persecuted motorists
spoiled by the council

government money wasted
free-loaders
mandatory insurance
tax-dodgers
lawless

20mph
smug
gloucester road
these cyclists
cause congestion

stay in the cycle lane
danger to others
persecuted motorists
time someone stood up to them
some of my best friends are cyclists

We'll be publishing the source and keyword list later -the keyword list is where we'd like some extra contributions.

We are also considering fully automating our Evening Post article writing process. This would be based on that work by our strategic partner, Google, as discussed in The Unreasonable Effectiveness of Data [Norvig 2009]. The idea is that with enough of a collection of evening post, daily mail and other articles on cycling, it will be possible to generate valid sentences based purely on statistical knowledge of past sentences. The bingo cards are merely a first step in this process.

EU funding of the war on motorists

The EU is taking our money to keep other countries afloat, when we can barely afford to keep our own country above water. Do you think Berlusconi needed to accept "party funding" from other countries? Do you think Putin does? No. These people have enough local sources of revenue.

Yet the EU takes the money away from us, the tax payer, forcing us to pay more for our pasties -and pieminster pies, while our politicians are reduced to begging for handouts.

Sometimes that money comes back. Usually it is in useful forms, such as EU agricultural subsidy, which helps protect the Bristol Traffic country estate without having to let people visit it. Yet today we are shocked to discover that the EU has been funding tourist development.

Tourist Development? So what, people say? More caravan stops would not be amiss, more echelon-style seafront parking at Weston super Mare? No, none of these.

The EU have taken our money, and used it to fund the building of cycle tracks in ashton court, and are calling it a "tourist destination", a mountain bike hub for north somerset.

This is so wrong. Not only is it a waste of money, it will encourage cyclists to visit the area and take all the parking spaces. What is worse, it will encourage the residents of bristol to cycle there direct from their homes, so increasing the cost of congestion by many billions.

We sent an expendable mountain biker to inspect the route.



As you can see, the route is smoothly graded and weaves around the trees. This adds another complaint -it will give the cyclists unrealistic expectations of what a cycle lane can be. The in-town routes have bigger potholes, trees, road-signs, parked vans and bus stations in the middle of them. Yet here: no vehicles, not even a mini-cab right behind the cyclist. Nor are there any pedestrians diving out the way and complaining about unlicensed tax dodgers lacking registration numbers. The worst bit -look how long that route is without a single give way, "cyclists dismount" or other anti-cycle feature. Not even a single bollard or unlit set of chicanes.

Yes, this will raise expectations of what bike routes could be like across the entire city -it must be stopped at once.

Correct Parking Alignment

One of the ongoing debates in the country is "how far from the kerb can you park". Indeed, there is a (very abusive) web site dedicated to criticising drivers.

We are different, and strive to praise everyone for their efforts.


Here, for example we can clearly see that BX54FVC has managed to get their kerb-side wheels as close to the kerb as is possible without damaging them,  and both wheels are perfectly aligned.

This is skilled parking here on Brighton Mews, Clifton. Residents of Montpelier should consider themselves show up by such skill -except they have to fit into narrow gaps on the pavement, whereas this car probably didn't even need to reverse, just drive up on the dropped pavement.

Tax cuts for the wealthy? We can't even afford a second range-rover

One of the cycling troublemakers -a northerner too, we should add, is running a weekly caption competition -last week's was won by one of the team members, Rhode Long.

This week Karl has a photo of Samantha Cameron, descendant of King Charles II of England and wife of David Cameron (bastard descendent of King William IV) in search of a caption.

Here is our submission:

 "Tax cuts for the wealthy? We can't even afford a second range-rover"'

The cyclists probably think it is something witty, but no, it is the truth.

For someone earning a modest £250K a year, say someone who writes a weekly article for a murdoch newspaper,  a cut in the top rate of tax from 50% to 45% will only generate another $17K a year of income. That's not enough for a second Range-Rover, so we'll have to make do with something smaller.

 
This completely misses the point is that the tax cuts are to let us trickle-down some of our wealth. If we can't afford to buy high end British-made cars, Range-Rovers, Jaguars, etc, then who will?

A second Range-Rover would have been an investment in the country to bring much-needed wealth to the midlands. Now it is not going to happen. We are not getting much of a tax break, and shall certainly be cancelling our premier-league relationship with David Cameron. David: consider yourself relegated to the scottish premier league; you can be rangers.

On the topic of tax, can we discuss fuel prices. The AA have been saying in interviews that fuel prices were "forcing more and more people who need their cars off the road."

Sorry, this just shows the AA are making things up again. If fuel prices are forcing people off the road -well, they clearly didn't need them, did they? It would have been better to say "forcing people who cannot conceive of a life that doesn't involve driving everywhere to discover what it is like"

This is better, because then the AA spokesman can go about how miserable it is. No more AA membership. No more AA insurance. No more need for the younger generation to take lessons from the AA driving school. Such a nightmare scenario threatens the entire leveraged purchase of the AA, so we wish they'd come out and say it. Something like "fuel prices may impact AA revenue to the extent that we cannot sustain our highly leveraged debt and we will collapse as dramatically as a US bank, only with less people caring".

That  would be a statement worth making.