When a right wing paper that has been a staunch champion of the hard pressed driver in the past dedicates considerable column inches to cyclist safety it may be the start of a real war on the motorist. You can see the details of this campaign here and gasp at the call for money specifically to be spent on the tax dodgers and fear at the impact to motorists. Even worse – they are actually explaining that there is no such thing as road tax and that cyclistshave every right to be on the road.
Clearly we had to stop this madness and so wrote to our local MP – Charlotte Leslie for Bristol North West, asking if she was going to support this campaign and attend the MP debate. Reassuringly she is on the side of the motorist and chose to respond to our letter with a standard cut and paste conservative response. We are happy to assume that she has no intention of adding fuel to this socialist fire and will go on ignoring the Bristol Cycling City project as if it had never happened.
The militant cyclists are saying "It's not our fault that HGVs kill us -they shouldn't be there", and now they even have the Times on their side
We, and our sponsors, Tesco, say "HGVs are needed in our city to deliver an optimised supply chain, if anyone gets run over by one it is their own fault for being on the inside of the vehicle"
This is why a lot of cycle safety training in London is dedicated to
make it clear to people on bikes that they are invisible from a cab of
an HGV, so should never go up alongside them, or end up in an ASL in
front of one.
We have another group of people who need to be better educated.
Take this road, St Werburgh's Road.
If you were in Montpelier, a car with its rear window replaced with cardboard and big scrapes down the side wouldn't get a second glance -but here we are in St Werburghs. What is up?
Apparently, the owner of this car dangerously parked their car on the inside of an HGV.
The HGV -entirely innocently, as the car was hiding in its blind spot- scraped down the side of the car, caught the rear bumper and pulled it off. It also clipped the rear hatch, pulling that up, bending it, and in the process shattering the window.
Why did this happen? Because the car driver, recklessly, parked their car on the inside of where an HGV would go past some ten hours later. For this reason, it is their own fault.
We say: people like this need to go on a "safe parking near HGVs" course, rather than complain about passing trucks from destroying their vehicles. At the very least, they could use that spare space to the right of the picture, the "pavement".
There's been a lot of concern in the press recently about Militant Secularists, who are as despised as much as Militant Cyclists and feared as much as proponents of Sharia Law.
The cabinet has come up with a three pronged plan to encourage more prayer and religion in our streets
George Osborne will encourage everyone in the country to pray that his austerity plan will actually work, despite evidence to the contrary.
Andrew Lansley will be encourage people to pray for their friends and family to get better, and in fact this will become the primary front line medical care. When Britain was a Christian nation -right up until the militant secularists and their so-called Enlightenment brought evidence-driven medicine to the country, prayer was the only medicine people had. The NHS reforms will return Britain to its roots.
Eric Pickles will do more to encourage prayer in our cities.
The last is what interests us, as he has come up with a plan to encourage prayer not only in our local councils, but in our city streets.
In a special over-skype interview with us, Eric Pickles declared
For too long the militants -be they secularists or cyclists- have had free reign of our cities. I propose to correct this by encouraging cyclists to pray regularly. I have come up with a cost-effective plan to achieve this, which I call "doing absolutely nothing". This, combined with cost-cutting measures and the wrapping up of even half-arsed attempts to fund cycling in British cities -a European invention, I hasten to add- will make the cyclists less militant and more religious.
We are glad to agree with him, and include a video Eric was particularly proud of that shows how it only took one HGV at a roundabout to turn a Glaswegian cyclist back into a devout Glasweigan who now knows that cycling is not an acceptable form of transport.
Eric closed:
Having rediscovered God, we expect Magnatom to return to the traditions of this great country --going to Celtic and Rangers matches and paying for right to hate your fellow Christians.
We hesitated about pointing out to Eric that Rangers FC is currently in administration, as it would have made him appear out of touch. Nor did we raise the fact that here in the south west, we follow Other Gods. While our Queen declared that she is a defender of all faiths, we are not convinced those that involve human sacrifice were on the list of "all faiths" that she imagined.
The news is now out that he's been sentenced to 17 months in jail after pleading guilty to dangerous driving and GBH, which, given the video, was hard to defeat with the "I didn't see him" defence.
The video is pretty awful for anyone to watch: if you want to know what it looks like when a bus sideswipes someone on a bicycle -when the bus isn't even going that fast.
The evening post says that the bus driver, Gavin Hill, has been disqualified from driving for 30 months, and will have to take an extended driving test afterwards. Apparently the action was "a moment of madness".
Well, we hope that Phil isn't suffering long-term consequences, and that the outcome does provide some reassurance that society frowns on such explicit attempts to cause death and injury.
When we heard the "someone to lie for him" phrase we checked to see if David Lowrey was on the coalition cabinet, but no, he was someone who started a fight with someone on a bicycle who had the audacity to make some kind of gesture to the car as the car encroached into the cycle lane.
Again, "a moment of madness", this time with four months jail; no mention of driving penalty or what penalty he or the "independent witness" get for trying to pervert the course of justice (*)
If these court cases weren't in the papers on the same day, the "moment of madness" defence might sound somewhat realistic. As it is, it comes out looking a contrived.
For that reason, we had a look around to see where else the "moment of madness" defence had cropped up.
Ron Davies, welsh secretary, robbed at knifepoint by a some people he went down to Clapham Common with"a moment of madness"
Sir John Guielgud, set up by the police who actually had undercover police trying to entrap men seeking a bit of discreet consensual sex, again "a moment of madness".
Hugh Grant getting caught paying a prostitute for a bit of entertainment in a public lavatory while on a business trip without his wife.
There we have it then, two separate scenarios where defence lawyers recommend the "moment of madness" defence
You've rammed or assaulted someone on a bicycle and want to make it clear that normally you are a safe and docile driver and suddenly "a moment of madness" came over you. You didn't mean to cause physical injury and hope to be let off lightly.
You got caught by the police engaged in some outdoor sex act which the legal system at that time and place considered illegal. You want to imply that the fact the police caught you with your trousers down was not because you do it very often but because you "had a moment of madness" and you were very unlucky. You also don't want your political/acting/religious career ruined, so you have to pretend it was somehow an accident.
There you have it then, two situations where the "moment of madness" defence crops up. Can we note, then, that for the second of these sets of legal cases, nobody gets hurt. In fact, most of the participants in the situations seemed, at least to an extent, engaged in consensual acts. Whereas nobody volunteers to be run over by a bus at the bearpit, or head-butted by a complete stranger.
Either way, it's become a bit of a cliche. Please, defence lawyers, come up with some new phrase.
(*) On the topic of independent witnesses, can we remind everyone that not only do ex-spouses turn on you, but if you are having someone pretend to be a complete stranger so as to devalue the line up evidence, remember that as covered in Ugander et al., The Anatomy of the Facebook Social Graph, it's fairly easy to determine if the pairwise distance between you and the independent witness is only one or two hops, or the you are both parts of the same clique of acquaintances. Less formally: you can't say "I have never met this person" if you keep identifying each other as friends in facebook photos.
Update: for anyone in the mainstream media who is not actually appearing in the Leveson inquiry or in a 1:1 meeting with Don Murdoch, trying to contact us -please read more than one article on this site, especially the media corner, before emailing us. You will discover that you wouldn't consider us a serious and unbiased news outlet. Which, coincidentally, is exactly how we view the television and printed news outlets.
Taypet21's video collection now includes a nice one in Staple Hill showing how to deal with congestion when you have a right turn up ahead. The correct tactics are
Drive up to the queue as fast as you can. This is why vehicles in the rear of a queue should always have their foot on the brake pedal, the red lights provide more warning notice to approaching vehicles.
Swing right, around the gratuitous pedestrian crossing with a keep left sign.
Carry on down that side of the road until you reach your destination road.
This shows another problem with pinch points: the audi driver who -was clearly important as (a) they drive an audi and (b) they are in a hurry- was held up by someone on a bicycle coming the other way. Yes, they had hi-viz and a helmet on, but they way they blocked the important person from cutting round the keep-left sign it was, well, as if they thought they owned the road.
The high streets are in trouble, and there is little that can be done.
The government has proposed making it easier to change retail outlets from one use to another without so much paperwork -something the Costa Coffee outlet in Whiteladies road has done pre-emptively.
Another area was improved parking, which the whiteladies showcase bus route promises -by converting whiteladies road to 1h short stay parking during the day. Which shows how naive the government high street survey was -where do they expect the staff to park now that there is no long stay parking in front of the shop?
What Whiteladies road does have is an overflowing bike parking area, which gets in the way of pedestrians.
It also fails to recognise the benefit to the high street were it converted into retail advertising space
Happy Lane, off Ashley Down Road. A nice little buildout, ideal for parking - a fact we have celebrated in the past.
And what do we see today? A tree. With a fence round it. Where we park.
We know the evening post -rightfully- denounces the council for wasting taxpayers money on providing cycle parking and routes, because they take away the space we have paid for. Yet this, tree-planting frenzy does not get covered at all.
Why are they keeping it a secret. Only we, the Bristol Traffic site, remember and warn of this outrage
No sooner had we issued a call for more low-quality pictures than one reaches our inbox from "M", showing how Colston's Primary School is persecuting parents.
It's bad enough they have bicycle parking in the playground, now they have a large sign in front of the keep clear zone.
Welcome to Colston's Primary School
Around our school please drive safely
DROP THE 'DROP OFF' HABIT
The yellow lines protect our children. Stay off them!
Irresponsible parking endangers our
children's lives and is reported to the police.
Ignoring the fact that when you push your child out the door while keeping the engine on in neutral and not even bothering to put the handbrake on isn't technically parking -just unloading -it is needless persecution.
We look back fondly on how it used to be, when small children could get views of motor cars that they could aspire to own in later years.
It was only back in 2008 that we started documenting our city, and today we must mourn the many parking spaces removed for build-outs and bike parking -and now, even School Keep Clear zones are taken from us.
It's been a bad week for us, what with the Times going over to "the other side"
Yet we are pleased to see that the BBC came out on our side, with a report on Bristol.
Yes, it lights our bollards up. We see someone wearing a helmet and hi-viz to cycle along the segregated bit of Prince Street Bridge, the one where the only vehicle likely to hit you is a boat if you ignore the "bridge swing" signs -although there is always the ice cream van at the end.
Later on, we see the BBC Bollard Man on Park Row, where he then faults someone for not having lights on as they approach the centre. At that point you can be sure the reporter isn't local -if he were he'd fault her for trying to cycle over the centre with the goal of reaching the other end alive, though she may be appearing to turn right to head towards the Watershed. Either way: in need of criticism.
We also liked the viewer's emails to back up the theme that the real problems are the people trying to cycle round our city, with both the classic evening post comment themes surfacing
Taxpayers money is wasted on cycle paths unless they are made to use them.
Why don't cyclists stop at crossings?
Congratulations to the BBC to standing up to this menance, not considering whether the infamous Magnatom did actually have a helmet, bright clothing and the right of way when that HGV lorry nearly ran him over.
"were you the idiot driver of the grey van who on Wed Feb 1 was swearing at me down at Muller Road because all the way down Romney Ave he hadn't been able to pass me, because I didn't get out of the way of traffic?"
"If you were, can I point out that I was doing 30 mph, so you had no justification to pass me, and as I was following a car doing the same speed about three bike lengths in front, you had nowhere to go anyway."
"I hope you enjoyed the long traffic jam on Muller Road with no bicycle in your way to get upset about"
We have looked at our van and no, it doesn't look grey, more a white with a brown layer on top, "dirty!" written on the back. (that's our brand, incidentally).
We understand the grey van driver. We don't think bicycles should be on the road, so the fact that you were there -and the fact that he couldn't get past- made it very frustrating. If you had cycled slower and stayed to one side he would still have hated you, but a bit less.
That's something the advocates of "vehicular cycling" don't understand. They think if you imagine that you are a car, and position yourself appropriately, you will recognised as a vehicle and made welcome. Not so: you will just become an arrogant cyclist who doesn't know their place -and deserves the abuse they get.
It is your very presence that is the issue, not just your positioning.
Cycling City Bristol has been a success, as we all know, so now's the time to sell your car if you still have one.
Last summer, as the cycle scheme was just coming to a formal close, small adverts could be seen in Bristol, testing the water and gauging the reaction to the apparent increase in cycle use. In order to keep a low profile, pop-up vehicles like CT04FMP would park up on the grass between Eastgate Road and Muller Road. Waiting patiently for a newly converted cyclist who might sell their old car to them.
Recently, however, the adverts have become larger.
They are still located out of the way of motorists, though, as they can often be seen on the double yellows in Stokes Croft. EJ55RCY illustrates their concern not to use up valuable parking spaces for those that still own cars.
Which makes us wonder whether, with the bigger presence, the cars4cash unit is:
A) doing well in acquiring cars for cash
B) aiming to get bigger cars for cash
or
C) a front for the squatting fraternity in the Emporium or Free Shop.
After all, there's plenty of space for a few mattresses in the back of that lorry. And a few bikes, too.
"Camera Enforcement Vehicle". An odd term. It has a hint of Mad Max's "Interceptor", back in the days when Mel Gibson did half-decent films. In Mad Max, the interceptor existed to catch criminals threatening the streets and the safety of citizens.
We are sure that the council thinks their Enforcement Vehicle is there for the same goal, but we know what it has done: it has declared war on hardworking school parents who have nowhere to park their 4x4 for child dropoff except in the School Keep Clear lanes.
Today: when you see the traffic officers outside the school you know to drive pass, take the five minute hit on child dropoff to avoid the ticket. Once they've been and gone, that's it for the term. Safe. But not now.
Look at this car R009OVT. It's got a camera on top, a GPS unit lurking inside. Now all it has to do is drive past a school and it can take a photograph of all the parents parked in the parent-parking-zone, then send them tickets later. Because it can do drive-by ticketing, it can cover multiple schools in a day -increasing the risk of getting caught. And you don't get any warning, you won't know to detour on the dropoff that day. After the dropoff: uncertainty. Did they pick on you today?
Worse yet the ANPR school parking car is not just targeting school zigzags, but also anyone stopping in a bus stop. Is it really so bad for people to have to get off the bus in the middle of the road? If people are worried about safety then the bus driver could simply drive on to the next stop (as they are apparently officially expected to do)!
They are enforcing loading restrictions, so stopping legitimate traders like Tesco from stopping their vans outside shops during rush hour. What sort of priority does Bristol put on the economy?
Even worse: the Evening Post isn't on our side here. They have joined the War against Motorists, in the same week the evil anti-car EU bumped up fuel prices by declaring an oil embargo against Iran. This is just victimisation
There's only one way to defeat this: stand firm.
Make sure nobody from your kids school calls Parking Services on 0117 922 2198 giving them the school location and exact time morning and evening when they would catch the most parents on a drive by.
Similarly, make sure they don't email parking.services at bristol.gov.uk giving them the same details, or telling them of your favourite secret bus-stop short-stay parking areas.
If nobody tells them of the places and times they should be enforcing parking at schools or in bus stops -we will continue to be able to exercise our right to do so!
When we get asked "Why are you taping my wife" its usually related to some late evening encounter on the downs in our van, but here we see it on the streets of Bath in broad daylight. Its long, but funny to listen to.
We particularly like the bit in the conversation where she threatens to report him to the police for assault:
'I'm going to say you were assaulting me!'
'Fine, I've been filming the whole thing'
'I don't care!'
If there's a moral here, don't get upset that someone films you in public. Getting upset just makes it funnier when the video goes online, and more people see it.
24/jan/2012 update; the video has been made private. Sorry.
Contributor RP sends us a photo taken on Grenville Road, running from St Andrews Park towards the back
of the Co-op on the Gloucester Road.
"Parking on the pavement is de rigueur along this stretch of road but DS09LXX has provided us with a
particularly good example of how to do it properly and make sure your
wing mirror isn't clipped by a passing car. Shame then that the
passenger side wing mirror appears to have suffered instead."
While this area is being covered, know that Belmont Road -the one way road right in front of the car, and its south-heading counterpart, North Road, form a good high speed rat-run alternative to Gloucester Road for anyone important who doesn't want to be held up by buses, bicycles or pedestrian crossings. Enter/Exit onto Cromwell Road.
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Number 3 in an occasional series of Porsches parked outside supermarkets (parts 1 and 2). Double yellows? Check. Don't want anybody else parking too near. Well out from the kerb? Check. Don't want to scuff the tyres. Personalised plate? Check: K7KKY. And in a moment of compassion, they've gone to Tesco in order to help reduce the £4bn drop in profits, rather than Waitrose. Thoughtful.
Sorry, no picture, but an interesting possible solution to the ghastly M32 car park which stabs at the heart of Bristol. Just as the River Frome was encased in concrete to make way for the car, why not encase the M32?. Those clever Germans are way ahead again.... http://www.treehugger.com/urban-design/german-autobahn-covered-giant-public-park.html
Oh, hang on. I just woke up. This is Britain, land of half measures and transport f**k ups. Darn!!.
The court case against the driver is scheduled for Wed 4th January, at Bristol Crown Court No 7, at 11:00 or later -more details welcome. We'd also hope the cyclist involved has recovered.
Unlike the Evening Post, we do cover such things, and would welcome a full summary to bristol.traffic at gmail dot com, where it will make its way online.
Bristol has -despite some serious incidents- a better year. We also wish everyone that 2012 continues to not only have the same -zero- pedestrian and cyclist deaths, but that the number of injured drops too. If there is a difference between London and Bristol, it is that the police here are more supportive.
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