Sunday, 26 October 2008

Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia

News from the Ministry of Truth (Bristol Section)

This site welcomes contributions from all participants in the Bristol Travel area, and today we are pleased to have a contribution from the Bristol Council section of the Ministry of Truth, here to bring us some current news.
  1. Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia. Anyone who believes the enemy was at one time Eurasia is mistaken and should report themselves to their nearest Ministry of Truth office for correctional measures. It is only by struggling with our Eurasian allies that victory over the Eastasian animals will be achieved!
  2. The chocolate ration will be increased from 60g/week to 40g/week!
  3. The single pedestrian crossing on the Princes Street Bridge will be widened, along with a lane for bicycles to get past. This reduction of car traffic from two lanes to one lane is necessary part of the Bristol Cycling City Initiative.
Anyone who believes that there are in fact two narrow pedestrian footpaths on this bridge is a thought criminal.

Anyone who proclaims differently in public is guilty of spreading malicious propaganda against the city.

Anyone who claims that the proposed Princes Street changes are necessary to permit Bus Rapid Transit bendy-buses to get over the bridge without spending money on new bridges is repeating untruths.

Anyone who believes that the announcement was phrased the way it was to put the blame on cyclists or to redirect Cycle City funding towards BRT development is misguided. Please report such subversives to the truth maintenance committee at the council.

Thank you for your co-operation. Ministry of Truth (Bristol Section)

3 comments:

bristle said...

Best Bristol blog post of the year 8)

Bluebaldee said...

What hope is there for transport in this city if those in charge don't even know what Princes Street Bridge looks like?

InsanityIdeas said...

They probably do know what the bridge looks like. But if you describe how you want it to look, when explaining how it looks now people don't object to the changes you have to make that you don't want to publicise. In this case spending cycling city money (potentially) on removing a footpath so as to widen the bridge.

Anyway it doesn't need a cycle path, its got a road over it!!