Stokes Croft goes national

The guardian has published article looking at stokes croft as a place to live.

This is the first time that Stokes Croft has anything vaguely resembling positive coverage, so it's worth a read.

Sadly, it's flawed. As we've stated before stokes croft is not Bohemian.

Yes, it does have a flower shop, so the "A revolution must have flowers" quote is correct -yet the author of the article completely omits the adjacent retail outlet, Slix -the food of the revolution, or how this so-called revolution will impact the paid-sex industry of the area.




For claims that the croft is gentrified, we are pleased to reassure people that the coloured paint is, literally, a thin layer of paint over the cracks.
  
Nor did the article mention the familiar sound of the A38 -the sirens- or the fact that for many of the residents, Alcoholism is in fact a career choice.
  
there was lots of praise for the Post Office, : "the lovely folk at the post office". Yet the article implied that walking and cycling were the way to get around.
 
Regular readers will know that the cycle lane is for short-stay visitors to the post office, while the recommended transport for the area is in fact a van.

On the topic of stokes croft vans, can we ask the driver of the red van turning right into Ashley Road at about 4:30pm today, monday Jul 2, what did that female pedestrian in the grey jacket do that merited you getting out and trying to start a fight with her? Pedestrians can damage your paintwork if they hit your van or wingmirrors, so we are sure that whatever she did it was deserved.

We were just suprised, watching it from our own van, that the first road-rage incident of the evening rush hour was starting that early on in the evening. Usually the fights don't kick off until after 5pm.

Technically, Stokes Croft is not Bohemian

As we get lots of new visitors asking about Stokes Croft, we have to provide some more details about Stokes Croft than locals need.

Stokes Croft is not Bohemian. Bohemia is a part of the Czech Republic. While there may be Czech speakers in the area -and there is a Polish supplies shop, it still isn't part of the Czech Republic. Bristol doesn't have a Welsh quarter either.

London, interestingly, does. It has a Welsh Language school, in "Brenddu", to give Brent its welsh name. Perhaps they too have police vans with "Heddlu" on the front too, as we have been seeing quite a lot of those recently.

What Stokes Croft does have is excellent artwork, and some good beverages at the cafes and pubs.

It also has that famous take-away, Slix, seen here from across the road. Behind it: ninetree hill, Thomas Street, Dove Street and the Kingsdown escarpment.

Speaking of Slix, last month we linked to a review of it, which, in the filtered reviews, included this portion of a one-star review:

Just after I had ordered a guy came in and ordered the same as me.  Quickly after ordering he shouting at the man behind the counter "yo! Make it a fresh one this time!"

I knew then that this wasn't the best choice of take away.  I was then handed a stale bun in a napkin.  The burger was dry and a bit crispy, closer to a biscuit than a burger.  The lettuce was off and the relish tasted like it had fermented.

Slix's lawyers have been in touch to make it clear that this review gives the misleading impression that it is possible to get meals cooked fresh if specifically requested. Such an accusation is without proof, and therefore must not be repeated.

The stokes croft "strip", mostly normal

Two police walking down to Slix in daylight hours, no minicab outside it. Unusual.

The Banksy posting now taking on more relevance.

Ritas is undamaged -happily- but again, no minicab outside in the bike lane.

And what's this, a pickup with the driver being talked to by the police, while Chris Chalkley of the People's Republic of Stokes Croft loiters in the background.

The police were just talking, there's no need to worry about this piece of treasured parking area being taken from us tax payers as part of a Cycling City-funded attack on our rights.  Behind this scene -nine tree hill- which now has a lot of broken glass on it.

Chris of the PRSC said they are looking for people to collect money for all the damaged shops other than Tesco -anyone who has time can get down there, pick up the collection tin and start collecting. Whenever someone is asked -they make their excuses and leave.

We made our excuses and left.

Stokes Croft Riots

Given the news about riots in Cheltenham Road, we are pleased to inform all all readers that despite what happens over the weekend Ritas and Slix will both continue serving Bristol's best takeaway chips to passing motorists, be they minicab drivers or police riot vehicles. The latter will qualify for bulk discount. We also welcome rioters, as the two establishments do consider themselves part of the Stokes Croft community, and not some national invader that do not recognise that garlic mayonnaise is a key part of Bristol's cuisine.

However, the two establishments have requested that all police car customers park in the bike lanes slightly closer to Cheltenham Road, rather than the bike lanes directly in front of the shops, as bricks and the like being thrown at vans does tend to turn away traffic. They can assure the police that parking restrictions will not be enforced (based on historical data), and that anyone cycling up to the (closed) Cheltenham Road is a troublemaker who deserved to be arrested -although only after spending their free cash at Rita's and Slix.

Slix's lawyers will also be in touch with everyone who reviewed their cafe, as they are all libellous apart from the one that praises it so much it is clearly fake.

The Hare on the Hill pub in Kingsdown would also like to point out that you can get a good view from there, along with a wide selection of Bath Ales beers, and as it is out of the "no drinking" exclusion zone, customers are welcome to sit outside and enjoy the "sporting fixtures" of the Easter Weekend -one in which the Royal Wedding Festivities appear to have started a week early.

Trivia: next week will be the 48th anniversary of the Bristol Bus Strike. Since that date nobody except poor people without cars have taken the bus, and FirstBus have done their best to discourage even these people from using the bus, by overcharging for a mediocre service.

Slix Week 4

Mini-cabs are one thing, but they are nothing in comparison to real cabbies.

A real taxi can use a bus lane, park in a cycle lane, and even go through no-entry signs (if you know the right routes).

Here though we see one visiting Stokes Croft, outside our feature takeaway of the week - Slix.

This taxi - T332MOA - is a frequent visitor to Stokes Croft, but we do wonder whether it's for real. We know of a famous and important person who lives locally and drives a taxi to get around bus-lane restrictions.

Slix Week 3

We're covering Slix in Stokes Croft this week, and we've noticed that it attracts some interesting clientele. It also sells burgers and chicken.

Yesterday we looked at the corporate appeal of the area, with cars such as WP06XTR using the cycle lane as a convenient stop-off to do a bit of business in the area, or pick up a burger and chips.

These parked cars, though, are actually an inconvenience, as they restrict the ability of mini-cab drivers to pick-up, drop-off and park-up to re-fuel.

Slix is an essential part of a central Bristol taxi driver's life-style, and, we hear, a destination of choice for many of their passengers, as YY05WEF and FB57KDF illustrate.

Slix Week 2

Documenting Stokes Croft is a full-time job.

Which is why we have a company car, just like anybody with a proper job. And we like to park-up on the pavement outside Bank to monitor the competition.

Not all cars are company cars, though.

There's no way to tell if T31DYA is parked in the cycle lane to grab a legitimate and corporately funded bite to eat in Slix (or Mrs Lovett's), or if it just belongs to a local from City Road picking up a few extra copies of the Big Issue to sell in Clifton.

The same is true for other cycle lane users, J44NUG, T364VCF and R790EDV.

One thing is certain: these cars are not there now, which at least proves that none of the drivers, even if they had their hair cut in 'Anointed Touch', ended up as take-aways from Mrs Lovett's. These drivers are safe.

Slix Week 1

We know that Stokes Croft is the centre of the universe.

And at the centre of Stokes Croft is that most favourite eatery, Slix.

Ignore the fact that it's next to Mrs Lovett's meat pie outlet, ignore any references to Sweeny Todd, or the fact that the Stoke's Croft is full of barber's shops. Probably more barbers than massage parlours. Even the venerable Croft features Harry Blades in the front room once a month at their heady "Barrymore's Pool Party" Nights - buzz cut for a tenner, anyone?

No, the interesting thing about this stretch of inner city Bristol is the way in which users of the Bike Lane here generally form a parked string of pearls on an otherwise unused piece of road.

Also interesting is the wide variety of patrons Slix appears to attract. So this week, in the spirit of a minor contribution to documenting the urban fabric of Bristol in 2010, we'll be celebrating a small selection of the trades that frequent the area.