Not Smart?

Smart cars are cool. We like them because they're easy to park, and only take up half the space of the Bristol Traffic White Van. So why is WK62BFP being ticketed, we asked ourselves?

It appears that it's indulging in a little pavement parking, half way up Jacobs Well Road. We're not objecting to this, as if it had been parked fully on the road it would have stuck out, and caused a problem for fellow motorists.

What's wrong here, though, is that this isn't a parking ticket. It's some wag protesting at the parking position, by leaving a post-it note on the windscreen. Directing the driver to go to a non-existent website.

If only these annoying japers had any intelligence, they would have asked the driver to visit this website instead.

Fighting Back: why it doesn't work

People email us and say things. A lot of things, most of which we can't print, as they assume the team are some group of bicycle-people. Not so. it is just that we don't film from our own vehicles, so have to send out "expendable tax-dodgers" to get footage for us. Why don't we film ourselves? This video from London shows why.


As you can see videoing from the vehicle doesn't help

1. It stops you being able to make and take calls with the camera phone.
2. Holding a camera over a passenger while driving along makes it hard to maintain full speed, especially when you are hanging back to disagree with the cyclist.
3. The troublemakers all gang together when the police get involved

That's the worst part. Your own video can be used as evidence against you. As for the whole nature of this dispute -the tax dodger wing-mirror-taxing the smart car as it pulls out into his lane, well, if you have wing mirrors, you aren't a proper Bristol driver -a fact which the very presence of wing mirrors radiates to everyone nearby and puts you at a disadvantage in all right-of-way negotiations.

Anyone thinking of visiting the city -just stick some duct tape round the mirrors to create that local-driver look without having to actually do Richmond Road, Montpelier, at full speed.

Smart Car: Park all your preconceptions with a test drive on Clifton Downs

While the Harbour Fest is going on in the city, what should we see up in Clifton but SmartCar employees offering test drives on Clifton Down in their little car KP11OYZ. As the text on the back says "take a test drive with a difference".

Obviously, the two threats to any car are cyclists and pedestrians, but the fence across the footpath keeps pedestrians away

And the no cycling sign keeps the area safe from bicycles

During discussions with the staff, apparently they were allowed to drive on the downs as the council had approved it.

Well, we said only a few days ago that the best use of the area would be for parking; right now it's a premium price Zoo-visitor service for peak weekends, when really it should be open to all residents.

The fact that the council are giving Clifton residents the opportunity to try driving and parking on the downs -as the Smart Car advert says "Park all your preconceptions", could be a step in the right direction.

We are interested in what the legal status of this is: can you really block off a footpath this way, and when it becomes a designated road, are people on bicycles still banned? And what the process and cost for doing this is. If it's affordable, we will create our own pay-to-use car park here.

Clifton Problems

Over in Caledonia Mall, Clifton, someone selfishly attacked a car doing a bit of smart-car parking, by pulling up their wipers

Nearby, another car, KL51UUY manages to get by unscathed. We have mixed feelings here. Yes, smart-car parking finds a new space, but it makes double parking harder, and this road is ideal for a bit of double-work.

In Clifton Village proper, we can see the real problem: mud covered bicycles and their rides, taking up the pavement. by leaning them against dustbins.

Apparently the Ashton Court golf course cafe no longer has its "no muddy mountain bikers" sign up. We say every cafe in the city needs such a sign.

Save Double Parking!

Following on our campaign against zebra crossings, we find ourselves forced to start new campaign "Save Double Parking!". The anti-car council has come out against double parking as being dangerous and anti social. Maybe but for residents is the only way to park a car after the morning school run, and for commuters, its the only way to park a car with all the legal spaces taken up by those selfish residents who don't drive to school or work, so freeing up spaces.

Every cyclist who owns a car and goes round being smug, "I pay my road tax", is missing the point. The car they've paid the road tax for is on the road somewhere, that's the rectangle of tarmac they have rented, and by not using it they are inconveniencing not just the vehicles they hold up on their crawl round town, but those commuters who rely on the spaces they create.

Returning to the double parking problem, the BBC have an article calling it anti-social, an article that includes this road as an example:

We don't normally cover double parking, and when we do we never name the roads. Those streets where you can get away with it are secrets we do not dare share, as then we will have nowhere to park. Certainly this road looked familiar.

The buildings look Cliftony, possibly university area, the road is wide and quiet with an RV on the left, opposite a smartcar. Time to send a query off to our petabyte scale datacentre to see what shows up -and yes, we know this road. It's Belgrave Road, BS8.

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What's interesting about this road is why was it chosen? Did the council have to tip off the journalists that this road was trouble? Was in in fact staged purely to push out new CPZ/RPZ restrictions, our very own WMD-for-iraq claim?

We have a theory there. Belgrave road is right next to the BBC. The journalists just popped out for 30 seconds to get a couple of pics and then went back in, job done. Of course, that does not mean that the photo was not staged. More research is needed.

This is where our new experiment to instrument cyclists and pedestrians in the city has begun to pay off. By having them filming themselves, we can review exactly what they've done wrong, from their own position. This is a lot easier than filming them ourselves, as it is really hard to hold a camcorder steady while driving through Montpelier, especially when you are trying to text someone. We just let the bikes do the work, then later get the pics. Up until now most bike filming has been written by the cyclists, always whining about something or other, such as this Glaswegian Magnatom, who has taken up the classic sport of that city -starting fights with strangers- out of the bars, and onto the roads. We aren't like that. We will criticise the cyclists and any other tax-dodging subversives we see.

Here then, is our ride-by of this road, where we can say that yes, it looks like a good place to double park. Nobody seems to mind, and it's handy for the BBC. This is important if you are Noel Edmonds, on a visit to the competition to see if your latest idea for a Saturday evening show has got any interest. The video was taken ten days ago, in term time, so if the council staged the entire double parking scene, they kept it up outside the BBC for a long time -it probably is genuine.



Analysing this video, we see a number of events which concern us

1. At 0:06 a tax-dodging cyclist -correctly dressed in hi-viz and helmet- sticks her arm out to force a Mercedes to stop its manoeuvre, a turn into the bus lane. This was a premium car, and clearly belongs to someone important -possibly Noel Edmonds himself. All the cyclists should have given way, and not held up this car by being in front of them in the bus lane.
2. At 0:13 we see a skateboarder on the road. Again, another form of tax-dodging
3. At 0:31 we see a Vauxhall Zafira being forced to brake hard after overtaking the bicycle.
4. Throughout the sequence, we see pedestrians crossing the road -only one of them is wearing hi-viz clothing.

Event #3 concerns us, the car which has to put their foot down to swing past the bicycle, then cut in , apparently to double park right in front of them. If the cyclist had not been pootling up this double-parking-friendly road at 5 mph, the driver would not have been forced to take such action. It is not environmentally friendly having to accelerate and brake like this, showing that while bicycles themselves may not be polluting, they cause the other vehicles in the city to waste more fuel, to pollute the city more.

We can see then, in 46 seconds, how a couple of bicycles can hold up the journey time of cars, be they important cars who need to use the Bus Lane, or merely someone who needs to double park outside the BBC offices. It is bad enough that these cyclists are allowed to do this, that they do not pay any tax, let alone compensate us for our lost time -now we see that the council is trying to take away our right to double park. Furthermore, the video showed how pedestrians, cyclists and even skateboarders are trying to take our roads away from us. We must resist!

When will this anti-car oppression end!

Fear the Angles of Death

We are mailed a link by "VP" to a French video, Angles Morts

This is profound. Up until this moment we hadn't understood why anyone in Paris would pay the premium for a 4x4, even as a status symbol to keep up with your peers, when by doing so you sacrificed the ability to park in a busy city.

However this video shows that yes, the vehicle size may make mini parking spaces unusable, but the higher ground clearance of the machines makes it easier to get your car over the raised separation between road and bike lane, and so park in bike lanes -that are unreachable by "legacy" cars. It opens up more parking than ever before. Having a status vehicle that saves you 30 minutes of snow-chain work on your annual ski trip is an added bonus.

Similarly: SmartCars. By producing a car so small, so nimble, it has managed to get cars into those places that were forever forbidden to cars. By investing in small urban vehicles, Mercedes have freed our European cities' pavements from the tyranny of pedestrians!

Stealth Parking a SmartCar in Bath

Chris Hutt sent this one in -it's of a car hiding in the tunnel under Pulteney Bridge

in Bath, on the footway and double yellow lines.

Were it not for the flash of the camera bringing up the number plate -X391LKV- so clearly, you wouldn't know the car was there. Which shows why SmartCars are so suited to the city: you can get them onto bits of pavement no other car will fit, into places the parking enforcement teams don't bother to go to. Nicely done.

Driveway engineering

We know that drives, even demi-drives are invaluable. They are the only way to use your car and park legally near the house on your return, if you live within walking distance of the city: Southville, Clifton, Cotham -same problem.

Getting a driveway, that's the problem. Montpelier has its pavement parking problem precisely because their gardens aren't deep enough for driveways, while in Clifton the driveways are there, but the conservation/listed building/terrace rules are biased against it.

How then do you get hold of one, how do you buy a parking space? Here's one way, and it's documented by the Clifton and Hotwells Improvement society, so it must be true. And there is a history up on the Planning Site, though without enough details to be sure. Treat this story with a pinch of salt -if we had the full documents we'd be more accurate.

Once upon a time, there was a house, in Richmond Park Road, Clifton. This is a Grade II listed terrace, and as part of the guidelines for consistent terraces, driveways are not allowed. This is why their 1997 application 97/00975/L was refused, "formation of new off-street parking space". Similarly, the 1997 application 97/03124/L was refused for "Widening existing access to form vehicle access", as was the similarly titled application 97/03125/H. There were two appeals made on the topic of these refusals in 1998, apparently withdrawn.



What also happens in 1998 is an Enforcement Enquiry, when the council suspects something is going on without them knowing. This is 98/30274/OTHER, "Unauthorised tree works. Change of use to flats." The case is closed -no details on the outcome of this or any other enquiry.

Everything goes quiet. In 2000, there's an enforcement enquiry. 00/30090/LB, "Works to front wall and installation of gate posts". Case Closed.

Again, silence.

Then in 2003, 03/02123/LA, Alteration to front boundary wall to include widening of opening and provision of new wrought iron gates and railings. This is the fun one -but sadly the documents aren't up online. According to local society, the need to get a double-width push chair in and out of the garden meant that the residents requested a wider entrance. It was granted, subject to condition(s). Again, those conditions aren't online. But the key thing: a wider gate is now allowed.

Yet what happens next? Enforcement enquiry 03/30519/OTHER, Possible creation of parking space. There is some suspicion that the newly widened gate is wide enough for a car to fit, and that people are doing just that with a SmartCar.



Apparently, the push chair turned out to have a motor. It still needs access to the road, hence the other Enforcement Enquiry, 03/30687/LB, Dropped kerb for possible creation of vehicular access, the council having the suspicion that the household, while nobody was looking, dug up the pavement and inserted a dropped kerb. Again, case closed. If there were secret plans to build a car parking area here, either it wasn't picked up, or allowed.

All is quiet on the parking space front until 2005 and 05/30059/CONSRV, Removal of front wall and creation of hard standing, -perhaps the owners have discovered the limited value of a SmartCar, and need something bigger.



Today, a Ford Escort and lots of notes asking people not to even consider parking nearby, "No parking, access required 24 hours".

It's a shame the planning site doesn't answer the question is this driveway and dropped kerb legal? If it isn't, there's probably nothing to stop anyone parking their own car in front of the driveway, at least when it isn't occupied by a car. It would be an amusing experiment, best done with a car you don't value, as we know that parking issues in Clifton can lead to fights. Perhaps someone from St Werbugh's can move a festival campervan there.

The other question is: how much money has the owner spent since 1997 to get this parking space. The applications, the appeals, the applications for a push-chair width gate, the hardstand, the dropped kerb, the handling all the enforcement enquiries. There is no way that the Keep-the-Parking-Free campaign can can say that a resident parking zone will deflate the value of a house, given how much it is clearly worth to these people -people whose house backs onto the Keep-the-Parking-Free central office.

(please let us know if you found this article interesting and amusing. It's a bit longer than normal, but funny enough that it merits coverage. If you like it, we will explore some of the other tactics needed to get a driveway past an anti-car council).

The range rover competition

We are still running our regular competition for sightings of legally parked range-rovers. Submissions to bristol.traffic at gmail dot com.

First off, one on the keep clear section of Vyvyan Terrace, Clifton. CA56BHJ is not on the pavement, not over the corner, and those keep-clear signs are mostly advisory, so it is in the running. It is better parked than all the parents doing school dropoff round the corner.

Amusingly, while this picture was being taken, there was an impatient car trying to nudge its way into the parking space occupied by the photographer and a bicycle: The smart car WU56YTL. We like pictures of them too, for fairness, and we like to see how innovatively they park. It is notable that SmartCar are running a new marketing campaign, though we are yet to see the advert that shows how they are exempt from road signs.

This car on the pavement in front of the pedestrian crossing on top of St Michael's Hill isn't a valid entry -HY07TXL isn't a range rover.

Same for this contribution by "Libby". RJ51DRD has a Honda sticker on the front. Sorry.


This is our first ever iPhone photo. Not too bad for night-time photography on Cheltenham Road.

Smarter Parking with Smart Cars

Lot's of SmartCar coverage this week, showing the value these vehicles have in the city

First, in Kingsdown Parade, the SmartCar shows how, when parking on double yellow lines at a corner, it manages to leave room were a second SC willing to park behind it, and if not, the junction retains some visibility and the dropped kerb is open.

Second, down in St Paul's, where Smart Car YJ04TLX has been smartly parked outside the CEED building on Wilder Street in St. Paul's.


Contributor Bristle KRS says "It was there for the best part of today and yesterday, till not that long ago when it pulled away from its perpendicular position to smartly cruise elsewhere. I didn't think to snap its profile, but it blocks half the southbound side of Wilder Street, hence forceing traffic to slow down and give way, creating a de facto HomeZone along the road. Smart."

Bit of Diagonal Work

A new contributor "Z303" sends in this picture of a SmartCar OV58SKJ showing why they are invaluable in a city, here Devonshire Road, Redland.


There is no way you have been able to park a normal car in such a narrow gap between the car in front and the tree. By parking diagonally, wheels slightly on the pavement -but not enough for a pedestrian to notice- the back of the car does not stick out into the road. This means it hampers normal traffic flow much less than a full-on sideways park. Slick.

Smart Cars for smarter parking

SmartCars can park in ways normal cars caren't. Here the Smartie WN58KEJ is only taking up half the yellow-line space in this junction off Cotham Hill

It's only half blocking people crossing the road, and not reducing visibility or access for turning cars as much. If it were to get ticketed, its fine should be reduced.

Pavements: not just for big cars

One fact that is showing up in our photo database is that big cars that are hard to park end up taking most advantage of the double yellow line and keep clear facilities of this city. And well they should. By leaving these areas free of smaller cars, it leaves space for the larger ones, so allowing the city to accomodate many types of vehicle.

But that does not mean that pavements are for big cars only, as shown by this Matiz WF02SHG up on Shaldon Road, which has managed to get further in than the nearby cars.

Or this SmartCar HN02KRX on the opposite side of the road, which is also taking advantage of the lowered pavement.

Why do this? Because it reduces the chances of your vehicle being scraped by other vehicles. Accordingly, the distance on the pavement you park is driven not by how wide your vehicle is, but by how much you value it. The more you value it, the further on the pavement you get, until eventually you are fully on the pavement. It's not just about protecting your car, it's about making a statement about how much you care about it, one for everyone else to see. It says "my car is more important".

Bristol: we love cars, but mostly we loves our own car.

Smart Parking for Smart Cars

Here WN57BVT demonstrates how a SmartCar can find a parking space here in High Kingsdown, where one wouldn't otherwise exist.

It may stick out a bit on either side, those inlets may be marked as Keep-Clear, but the truth is they aren't inconveniencing anyone, it's not on the pavement and that keep-clear area has already lost the argument with full-sized cars.

All the SmartCar is doing is making it slightly harder for the cars that shouldn't have been parked up on the pavement beside it to get out, like the rover W498WSG and the mini Vo56ULR which serves them right.

No doubt when Kingsdown becomes a CPZ, there will be yellow lines everywhere and enforcement of the signage, which will remove a vast amount of the parking capacity of the city. Assuming 50% of the vehicles are parking illegally in Kingsdown/Montpelier, there's going to be a lot of unhappy motorists.

"smart-car" parking is pedestrian friendly

Previously, we looked at cars parking at a junction near a school.

Here, near Christchurch School, Clifton, we can see that parking sideways to the kerb means that the car B3SJW takes up less pavement space and so offers a safer crossing route for schoolkids going to school. What an innovative idea!

Montpelier nighttime safety

A new contributor, David from Strawberry Hill, posts these pics of Montpelier by night, showing how the "smart-car" style parking works even better when a whole line of vehicles have parked this way.

Note they have reverse parked: this is good for safety of road users -including pedestrians- as it stops the vehicles pulling out with inadequte visibility. And all these vehicles, do, sadly, have inadequate visibility. We see the smartcars MK03?JK, YJ52HYE and the smartvan DN08LDG. None of these registrations were in our database yet; they are now.

Now that it is getting dark, the risk cyclists pedalling round without lights pose to themselves and other road users increases. To stop that risk, these vehicles are selflessy blocking all access points from bikes trying to use this bike route. No unlit bikes will be pulling out onto Picton Street tonight! Given how easily it would be for a bike trying this to scrape against any of these vehicles while attempting to pull out, the drivers are being very selfless: putting the safety of cyclists ahead of the preservation of their own vehicles. Its drivers like these that are helping make Montpelier Bristol's first community shared space.

sideways parking: not just for smart cars

SmartCars have legitimised the idea of not parking parallel, but parking sideways to the road, driving in and out.

Now that it is legitimate, there's no reason why it should be restricted to smartcars. If everyone parked this way, the parking capacity of the cities streets would double.

Here, the Ford Focus D14TJD shows how it can be done, turning a narrow pedestrian crossing that was not big enough for a car, into a parking space. Being a small family car, the Focus barely protrudes out.

Vehicles approaching the junction from the other side, (Eaton Crescent Clifton) do see it, but by sharpening the junction they force these cars to give way properly, instead of pulling out at speed.

Smart Cars

Smart Cars are portrayed as a solution to the traffic problems of Europe's cities. Rather than walk, cycle or use public transport, you can drive to your destination and park in a space just big enough for it -and nobody else. Which works, provided nobody else has a SmartCar. Because once the vehicles become popular: no more parking spaces.

There are some other limitations of the vehicle. They still create traffic jams, they still block junctions, their fuel economy is pretty mediocre, especially at speed, as the overreved 4-cylinder engine will sound like a mini metro running flat out at 73 mph. This is why Daimler-Benz would prefer you to own a C-Class mercedes for the out of town trips. The SmartCar is the town-toy.

What a SmartCar does do, and this is a feature, is park sideways. This has many benefits. As well as letting you sneak into the smallest places left in the city for parking, you get to inconvenience all bicycles trying to get down the road. So by parking your SmartCar you not only show to the world that you can park where you like, you get to get one up on all those bikes that cut you up by running red lights. Revenge is something to savour!