Thursday, 26 February 2009

Shock Resignation!

In a surprise that shocked the city, FirstBus resigned its franchises of Bus and Train services to the city. In a terse management announcement, it was stated that this was forced due to debts incurred in other parts of the FirstGroup business, namely the spectacular collapse of its entertainment business, whose service of organising drinking sessions in breweries and parties in brothels failed recently. The train franchise will be taken up by Deutsche Bahn, while bus transport will be handled by city-link taxis, whose drivers do know when trains arrive at templemeads, and hence when to have buses there.

Elsewhere, Bristol Traffic and the Association of British Drivers condemned the appointment to the local council cabinet of someone who is known to ride a bicycle. Cllr Jon Rogers, here seen attending a cycle city launch event, was spotted talking politely to the cycling activist Steve Meek (seen on the left), rather than beating him soundly with a large stick, as the ABD have been advocating doing to all cyclists.

A Bristol Traffic spokesman said "why appoint a cyclist as the cabinet member for transport? He will not understand the real traffic problems in this city, such as how the addition of a few thousand more parking spaces and two pedestrian crossings near cabot circus have brought traffic in the centre of this anti-car city to a standstill"


Ben S said...

Bastards! For a second there I dared to hope it was real...

Anonymous said...

that's my GP that is.

well done Dr Rogers.