Montpelier's Flowerbox Problem

Shocking footage reaches us of this, Old Ashley Hill, in Montpelier, where someone has placed two flowerboxes on the pavement outside their front door.

So what? people say, In the background there are two cars on the pavement, X385MJW and WV07YVZ, taking up space. Why worry about the flower boxes?

Here's why: it's illegal. The Pedestrian Liberation Front has been dredging up pavement legislation, and discovered Section 28 of the 1847 Town Police Clauses Act. This act threatens a fine of up to £1000 pounds and 14 days in prison for anyone who commits any of the crimes listed there, which includes

Places or leaves any furniture, goods, wares, or merchandize, or any cask, tub, basket, pail, or bucket on any footway.

The flower boxes: criminal. The cars: doing what needs to be done.

We shall report them to the police.

Incidentally, the law also makes it a crime to "Slaughter any cattle, except in the case of any cattle over-driven which may have met with any accident", and also clarifies that "The word “cattle” shall include horses, asses, mules, sheep, goats, and swine".

This is going to cause problems in Kingsdown when they next sacrifice a goat to Elder Gods in the midwinter festivities. They shall have to make sure that the goat is slaughtered in the road, and perhaps move the Wicker Man to Freemantle Square, otherwise they too will be in trouble.