Now that the leader of Portsmouth council has managed to stop bicycles from endangering themselves and pedestrians, how can they get along the seafront? Ideally, they wouldn't be allowed to. But if they must, there is all we need already there.
There is a road along the seafront, right behind all these echelon-parked vehicles. Yes, the risk of a car reversing into you is high -but stop whinging, at least nobody will open a door into you, so you can cycle in the far left of the car lane, letting tax-paying cars past without inconveniencing us.
Further along, at Eastney, there is more bike lane. Here we can see it under the car V40NFR, while some pre-teen subversives-in-waiting cycle down the pavement defiantly. Apparently the beach police do stop and fine cyclists for violating the bye laws, but sadly there are none about on this Sunday morning.
No doubt the cycling activists will come back with some proposal, like move from echelon to parallel parking. This is wrong and must be opposed.
It is not just that this will drastically reduce the amount of available parking , leading to an equivalent collapse in council revenues (year round parking fees, something like £8/day), being able to park facing the water is an inalienable right of the British.
Other countries have warm beaches, attractive people with fit bodies in skimpy swimwear sunbathing on them. We in Britain have a cold wind blowing rain over pebbles, with the car being the only place to sit and enjoy the view.
Even on the day these photos were taken, one of the hottest May days in Portsmouth for years, the cars are full of people sitting in their cars. The only concession to the blistering heat is to let down the windows.
Driving to the beach and sitting in your car is a lifestyle choice. But it is more than that -it is the British lifestyle.
If you can't face the water it doesn't work. If your view of the sea is interrupted by happy cyclists it doesn't work. All attempts to put bike lanes in on the road, or to allow bikes along the seafront pavement are attempts by the EU to undermine what Britain stands for. They are trying to make us pedal round our cities like Dutch or Danish people, buying healthy fruit by the kilogram and paying for it in Euros. It is all part of the same continental conspiracy.
Here on the Southsea seafront, we can see in the background the D-Day monument, a memorial to all the people who left from this harbour and died on the continent purely to preserve our way of life. We cannot let these bicycle-pedalling EU-officials take it away from us.